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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

2 days off for a wedding

167 replies

lollipoprainbow · 10/02/2022 22:26

We have a family wedding in May in Wales and I have requested my dd9 is away from school on the Friday and the Monday. It has been refused ! What do I do now. It's non negotiable to be honest and she won't be at school those two days. I like the headteacher and don't want to fall out with her.

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Original poster

lollipoprainbow · 11/02/2022 07:57

@whysoserious123 thanks !! Yes some very harsh comments here as per usual !

OP posts:

Needdoughnuts · 11/02/2022 07:58

I think I'd compromise. Leave after Friday pm registration and travel back Sunday night.

Frazzled2207 · 11/02/2022 07:59

As others have said of course you can come back Sunday. Just because you pay for three nights doesn’t compel you to stay! You won’t have to check out first thing though, which is handy.

whysoserious123 · 11/02/2022 07:59

@lollipoprainbow

As usual you are right there !

Ignore them !

Hope you both have a wonderful time

ImInStealthMode · 11/02/2022 07:59

We have to check in early Friday and we have to stay an extra night (Sunday) as three nights is the minimum we can stay for.

You don't have to stay Sunday night, you're not prisoners, so long as you've paid for the minimum 3 nights.

Agree with PP's, just take her out anyway but don't claim that the Monday is a necessary part of the wedding, you could easily go home on Sunday.

Woahthehorsey · 11/02/2022 08:01

@lollipoprainbow

For everyone so fascinated as to why we are going Friday and coming back Monday it's all to do with our accommodation bookings check in and out times. We have to check in early Friday and we have to stay an extra night (Sunday) as three nights is the minimum we can stay for. It was so hard to find any accommodation with less restrictive terms. I'm honestly gobsmacked that 2 days is refused, a week I could totally understand.

3 nights is the minimum BOOKING you don't have to stay. We regularly book 3 night stays because it's the minimum but only stay 2 because of school/ work on Monday.

Inspectorslack · 11/02/2022 08:01

Also have you asked if you can check in later? And check out on Sunday even though you’ve paid for it?

Howshouldibehave · 11/02/2022 08:02

some very harsh comments here as per usual!

It’s not ‘harsh’ to point out that the head is doing nothing wrong and that you are choosing to turn this into a 4-day holiday when there is absolutely no need.

NerrSnerr · 11/02/2022 08:02

Personally i'd go after school on Friday and come back Sunday (they can't stop you leaving early- what would they do? Lock you in the room?)

If you do want to take the days then just go and leave them unauthorised. The t&c of a hotel booking is not a good reason for a school to give an authorised absence.

Sirzy · 11/02/2022 08:03

Just go and have it unauthorised or travel after school on the Friday and come back the Sunday evening then no need to disrupt education at all.

Whinge · 11/02/2022 08:04

@Howshouldibehave

some very harsh comments here as per usual!

It’s not ‘harsh’ to point out that the head is doing nothing wrong and that you are choosing to turn this into a 4-day holiday when there is absolutely no need.

Exactly. It's not harsh to point out the facts. The OP seems to think this is the headteacher being unkind and choosing not to authorise the time off, when in reality the head is just following the policies.

bonetiredwithtwins · 11/02/2022 08:04

To be honest irrelevant that your accommodation is 3 nights minimum - you could stay further away - plenty of travel lodges and premier inns in wales - unless you live in the outer Hebrides and it's several hours drive to wales then it's entirely reasonable of the HT to expect you to drive up after school on Friday and tried Sunday evening

Tippexy · 11/02/2022 08:04

OP: AIBU?
MN: Yes!
OP: No I’m not, you’re all meanies!

Lol at the idea that the can’t come home on Sunday just because they’ve got accommodation on the Sunday night.

Howshouldibehave · 11/02/2022 08:06

We have been to loads of distance weddings since my kids have been at school. I would probably leave at 2pm Friday (after they’ve done the register) and come back Sunday night.

The OP clearly doesn’t want to do this-but that is obviously not the head’s fault, or the owner of the holiday accommodation either!

Sirzy · 11/02/2022 08:07

Also what year is she in? Sats etc are in may so that would make them even less likely to approve it

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 11/02/2022 08:08

We had a big family do (the kind that only happens a few times in a lifetime), a decade ago. DS was in Year 6 (but had done his KS2 SATs) and DD much younger. It was (and remains) a rare (happy) opportunity for the relatively 'far-flung' family members to get together. In the end we went out of our way to not go until the Saturday morning and only miss a morning of school on the Monday (so we literally got back and took the DC straight into school for the afternoon session). The strict HT was fine with that.

When you have a family, big family occasions that are not local do become an issue. However, I would say (given the disruption to DC's education over the past two years), that you'd be wise to not take them out of school for any longer than absolutely necessary.

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 11/02/2022 08:10

I mean a family of your own (with school-age DC). One of the lessons of life with DC is not always being able to do everything that you're invited to.

Lalliella · 11/02/2022 08:10

Take the Friday and the Monday and tell the school that’s what you’re doing. You might get fined but if you can afford it then do it. Kids have had a rough time these last 2 years, it will be nice for your DD to go on a long weekend wedding break. Have a great time OP.

Lalliella · 11/02/2022 08:13

Just read more of your thread and seen the part about your sister. That’s very sad OP. All the more reason to make an occasion of it and spend some quality time with family. Sometimes life is too short to follow the rules

astoundedgoat · 11/02/2022 08:15

We have to go to an overseas wedding the weekend before half term. It is fully not optional for us, but there’s no way the school will authorise a full week, so we’re just going.

BuanoKubiamVej · 11/02/2022 08:16

By the way, if you can feasibly reach your destination on friday without leaving before lunchtime, you can still send DD in for the morning and if you collect after they do the lunchtime register (usually at noon or 12:15) then she will be marked as present - signing out early doesn't affect their attendance stats. Likewise if you can get her into school before 11:45 on monday she'll just be marked as late, not absent.

Ofsted grades depend on schools keeping records and sticking to the rules but that's different from anyone actually minding if you decide to do this. Just "own" your decision and don't pretend you had no choice or that the school could choose to act differently.

Howshouldibehave · 11/02/2022 08:22

you can still send DD in for the morning and if you collect after they do the lunchtime register (usually at noon or 12:15) then she will be marked as present

I agree with this, but would add it’ll be more like 1/1.30 depending on when lunchtime finishes.

Wolfiefan · 11/02/2022 08:24

You can go. But you don’t actually have to go for that long. No matter how long accommodation is booked for you can turn up later and leave earlier. You just don’t want to.
Don’t appeal. It won’t make any difference. Heads only authorise absence in very specific situations. This isn’t one of this.

EarringsandLipstick · 11/02/2022 08:25

I agree with other posters, I wouldn't be missing two days of school for a weekend wedding.

However, if you want to, you accept it as an unauthorised absence, I don't know what the big deal is?

Original poster

lollipoprainbow · 11/02/2022 08:25

@Tippexy I didn't ask if I was being unreasonable it was placed under primary education topic and my question was to ask the next steps after being refused ie do I appeal and go back to the headteacher but instead I get a bunch of sanctimonious comments about not taking her out of school and why can't we come back Sunday etc etc. !!

OP posts:

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