Removing reward badges on first pay back as punishment for behaviour in two zoom classes?

[ConcernedAboutRules]

Basically, DS who is normally very well behaved has been playing the class jokester on one or two zoom calls. He has been warned previously for this. Nothing too serious in my opinion. Now teacher has told him to expect to hand over all the badges and special jumper he's earned for various things and that he will no longer be on the school council etc. as soon as he arrives back during morning registration. Am I the only one thinking this is really unreasonable punishment given the situation and the fact he's known as 'the badge kid'?

I agree take some time on easing boundaries at home. Let this calm slightly and then think about formally writing to the school about their vastly archaic reward chart. Sure parents of kids who never get a badge or yellow jumper hate the process too.

If I am honest I would move schools too. Somewhere fresh for a year where he can be what he wants and start again. But saying that I am willing to move my kids and have them in different schools etc when other parents think I am crazy so many would think I was too extreme there. Guess I see school more as a place of work and if it isn't working, move on.

It sounds a little bit like a child who has got a bit too cocky, taken things foregranted and struggled with all the upheaval over the past year. Hopefully once things have settled it will prove to be a blip.

Does he often struggle with change or get obsessive over smaller things?

I'm shocked with the school to be honest with you. While he had all these roles did other kids get a chance? I don't think it is healthy for a child to be treated as so special.

The wearing of the badges for months on end seems like showing off to me, at his age he should be understanding that you don't behave, work hard etc just for praise but because it is the right thing to do.

I think you should just leave it now, he is embarrassed, he's been punished move on but keep an eye on him about the lying and sneaky behaviour. You sound like you were also very invested in his status, it isn't healthy for any of you. He's a little boy, he got it wrong but so did the school and you.

@PresentingPercy

When DC is seen as superior, other DC are the “average joes”. It’s a term used to put down the other DC and put your own DC ahead of them and more valued. It’s not really a pleasant term and reeks of superiority. Probably another attitude that needs to go!

Who calls them average Joe's?

Who calls them average Joe's? the OP did.

Sorry, missed that.

All of this chat of different coloured jumper and being on the council and monitor and rep and badges for everything is quite...embarrassing.

This doesn't need to be a big deal. He's been silly, unkind and disrespectful. He's been duly reprimanded.

Going forward: 'DS, here's a scrap book you can put all your stickers in, but once you get home from school they need to come off of your jumper.'

Don't let him have your phone without supervision. It's actually quite a long-winded process to delete a voicemail. You have to actually access the message, then delete it. You can't just swipe it away like a text. What if someone had left you an important private message?

You need to reassure your DS that you love him just as much as an 'average Joe'. Put the emphasis on effort, not achievement.

Tell him that you are in a team with his teachers - you're on the same side.

@Lougle

This doesn't need to be a big deal. He's been silly, unkind and disrespectful. He's been duly reprimanded.

Going forward: 'DS, here's a scrap book you can put all your stickers in, but once you get home from school they need to come off of your jumper.'

Don't let him have your phone without supervision. It's actually quite a long-winded process to delete a voicemail. You have to actually access the message, then delete it. You can't just swipe it away like a text. What if someone had left you an important private message?

You need to reassure your DS that you love him just as much as an 'average Joe'. Put the emphasis on effort, not achievement.

Tell him that you are in a team with his teachers - you're on the same side.

Why does he need reassured she loves him as much as an average Joe?

I taught for nearly 30 years in primary schools and never came across a child who managed to retain a jumper sticker beyond a week. If your son taped them on, and then took them off every time the jumper was washed and then stuck them back on, why on earth did you not ever tell that he must stop and find somewhere else to store the old stickers?? I can't imagine the school being keen on him wearing a tape covered jumper for months, if not years, nor encouraging his behaviour by handing out more stickers. It's all a bit bizarre, to be honest.

@Downton57

I taught for nearly 30 years in primary schools and never came across a child who managed to retain a jumper sticker beyond a week. If your son taped them on, and then took them off every time the jumper was washed and then stuck them back on, why on earth did you not ever tell that he must stop and find somewhere else to store the old stickers?? I can't imagine the school being keen on him wearing a tape covered jumper for months, if not years, nor encouraging his behaviour by handing out more stickers. It's all a bit bizarre, to be honest.

Did you ever see special coloured jumpers for council members, or the same child being given monitor, council rep, head boy, top achievement etc etc?

No me neither.

"Why does he need reassured she loves him as much as an average Joe?"

Because sadly, somewhere along the line, this child has got his worth and identity from a sticky piece of paper that a teacher has handed out without a thought. He's been given the impression that he's better then the rest of the children because he's collected those stickers.

At DD2's school they used to give out badges for being a 'word millionaire' etc., when they recorded the books they had read. One girl has all her badges pinned on her blazer in a row. The vast majority of the kids glance at the badge and shove it in their bag. DD2 won't record the books she's read because she says she reads for pleasure, not so that the teacher can give her a badge.

@Lougle

"Why does he need reassured she loves him as much as an average Joe?"

Because sadly, somewhere along the line, this child has got his worth and identity from a sticky piece of paper that a teacher has handed out without a thought. He's been given the impression that he's better then the rest of the children because he's collected those stickers.

At DD2's school they used to give out badges for being a 'word millionaire' etc., when they recorded the books they had read. One girl has all her badges pinned on her blazer in a row. The vast majority of the kids glance at the badge and shove it in their bag. DD2 won't record the books she's read because she says she reads for pleasure, not so that the teacher can give her a badge.

Sorry I misread.

I've caught up now.