Is it ok for a male teacher to say to an 8 yr old ‘only dogs sniff bums’?

[reallyconfusedmostofthetime]

My 8 year old daughter came home and said a boy in her class had chocolate on his face and her male teacher had said to him ‘only dogs sniff peoples bums’. I was horrified, checked with a friend I trust and my sister also once a teacher if I was right to be and emailed the head saying I was concerned that it showed a lack of judgement on the teachers part. The head wasn't concerned and I got a very dismissive reply. Is it ok? Have I got it wrong? Am I being a prude? Is my whole idea of teacherhood wrapped up in Matilda’s relationship with Miss Honey..?.It’s entirely possible...

[troubleswillbeoutofsight]

I think it was a crude and inappropriate joke made by an immature 'oh I'm such a big personality' dick head. I imagine he's an NQT trying to be the childrens best friend. I very much doubt a more experienced teacher would say such a thing or at least it would not have happened in my children school
However, I wouldn't personally make more a fuss about it. It's happened and I'm sure no children were damaged

[diggylamb2oc]

Teachers should be role models for children. He’s not having a pint and making jokes with his friends at the pub. I would question any teacher who crosses the line like this. Male or female. It’s just bad form and inappropriate.

[Billben]

Ha! I do spend a huge amount of my life being outraged

Let me guess. You are one of those people who gets offended on behalf of other people who aren’t even offended. 🙄

[BubblesBuddy]

If he’s turned up mid year, he’s not had a job elsewhere that was great! He’s a bit of a reject and clearly the school needed someone! They have scraped the bottom of the barrel.

No. It’s not appropriate. My DCs were never taught by any teacher, male or female, who would have said this. All that was needed was advice to visit the cloakroom and for the DC to clean his face. I hate teachers using slang. It wasn’t suitable innuendo for children and teaching isn’t about his personality! It’s about teaching children.

By the way, many girls are not enthralled with poo jokes. Plenty of boys are not either. Its never acceptable to compare a child to a dog!

[Raaaaaah]

It’s wierd and inappropriate and you will be doing him a favour by raising it. It would be an odd statement to make regardless of the age of pupil.

[GoGoGadgetGin]

@bubblesbuddy he's a bit of a reject. Nice language you have there, so without knowing anything about this teacher that's your thoughts on him?

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

If he’s turned up mid year, he’s not had a job elsewhere that was great! He’s a bit of a reject and clearly the school needed someone! They have scraped the bottom of the barrel. Fuck! That is so judgemental, bubbles

He sounds young, inexperienced and a bit bouncy! Not a total failure and liability!

Is this one of those times wen MN excels itself?

[Doobydoobeedoo]

It's a bit crude but it wouldn't have bothered me enough to complain to anyone about it.

Wanting children to "feel loved" at school is more unusual I think. Feeling safe and secure is a more typical aim.

[LuluJakey1]

I’ll definitely say it’s ‘unprofessional’ and that he needs further training and a warning. Perfect

Please do not tell the Head this. It is fine to say why you found it inappropriate but is the Head's job to decide what he 'needs'. It is inappropriate - it sends the wrong messages to children about what is acceptable comment in a classroom and muddies boundaries for them. If they said that to another teacher, thinking it was okto say it, they would be in trouble.

He sounds like someone who is unclear himself and is far too entertained by himself.

[BubblesBuddy]

Having worked in Education for years, I know perfectly well good teachers are not available mid year! They are not. It is extra-ordinarily difficult for schools to recruit when a teacher leaves mid year and nearly all schools scrape the bottom of the barrel. Its inevitable! This teacher doesn't sound great by anyone's standards! Hopefully they are recruiting to the vacancy and want higher standards for the school.

[Feenie]

Ffs, Bubblesbuddy - you’d think, as a governor, that you would catch yourself on before posting such judgemental and fictitious bollocks.

[FindaPenny]

I would find the sniffing bums comment odd, but I think I would have just assumned that he engaged his mouth before his brain.


I think unless he is really, really odd the 'bane of my life' comment probably means that he really likes your daughter as he feels free to tease her knowing that she would know he likes her/is joking.


The table thing is maybe a bit more problematic, but if it's a sort of a running joke where the child plays a long then I could see it's sort of banter.



It might not be a popular opinion, but I think children honestly should be lightly teased more often, it gives them a good sense of humour and helps them to handle sensitive subjects.

[SallyWD]

It's a bit gross and I'm surprised he'd say it however I wouldn't be bothered enough to complain (unless he's always saying such things). As a one off I'd let it go.

[TatianaLarina]

Personally I’d keep a close eye on a man who makes sexually inappropriate comments around kids.

[Bookworm4]

Sexually inappropriate??
That's a bit of a stretch.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

Having worked in Education for years I have a couple of decades in myse;f!

I know perfectly well good teachers are not available mid year! Well, they are. This one was, I have been a couple of times. Many teachers moving from agency to permanent are. Lots of other possibilities too!

They are not. Self evidently, they are...

It is extra-ordinarily difficult for schools to recruit when a teacher leaves mid year well, it can be, that's why agency teachers fill the gap!

and nearly all schools scrape the bottom of the barrel. I haven't worked in all schools, but the ones I have worked in have sometimes been sent appalling agency teachers.

Its inevitable! But not all the time. So, not really inevitable.

This teacher doesn't sound great by anyone's standards! He sounds new, young, ineperiecned. He, like his pupils will probably grow up fne!

Hopefully they are recruiting to the vacancy and want higher standards for the school. Recruiting to and agency would be odd. But through well, yes, he may well be an agency teacher, and I know they can be hit and miss (see above). Many men in primary have to start that way... something to do with them all being potential perverts and peadophiles barres them from getting interviewed by narrow minded, judgemental bigots!

[brizzlemint]

If you want inappropriate try: "You should just be grateful to be alive" to a class of teenagers which included some who would have been persecuted and killed in some countries today/by the far right in the past.

[User10fuckingmillion]

Weird and grim. But there’s nothing you can do really OP.

I highly doubt it was a sex joke.

[PCohle]

I think you're massively overreacting.

I'd be much more at a teacher regularly hugging pupils than I would be by making a poo joke to 8 year olds.

I'd have no problem with a teacher who's a bit more jokey and boistrous rather than "gentle and thoughtful". At the risk of joining the OP in wild gender stereotyping I think the teacher might do a particularly good job at connecting with 8 yo boys.

You've said the head clearly thinks you're sensitive and you spend a huge amount of your life being outraged. I think maybe that's something you should work on changing rather than being proud of. Resilience is an important trait for children.

[bloodywhitecat]

The dog comment is completely lost on me so wouldn't have been on my radar but I'd be concerned that a teacher found my child to be the bane of their life. Unless it was said in a jokey way I'd be worried that my child's behaviour wasn't what I would hope it would be.

[titchy]

I think this will help them more than anything else in their futures.

I think them understanding that teachers, like all people they will interact with in their lives, are people, some nice, some so-so, some blunt. Wanting them to feel loved is your job.

You're bringing up snowflakes who will have no idea how to deal with people as they get older. Not good OP, not good.

[Bookworm4]

Maybe the child IS the bane of his life 😉 The OP has decided her child is far too delicate for this guy, bear in mind all these gossipy tales are being relayed by an 8 yr; who probably is more than aware Mummy doesn't like the teacher, I wouldn't take any of this as gospel.

[WoollyMummoth]

For the love of god! Really! This is upsetting you??Teachers do a bloody hard job in very trying circumstances. It’s so not a big deal. I’m not surprised the head dismissed your horrified outrage. You will be seen as ‘that’ parent. Chill.

[MeAgainAgain]

The teacher saw a child with chocolate on his face and said something that was a joke to say the boy had had his nose up another childs arse and got shit all over his face?

That is really weird.

[MeAgainAgain]

It's like "brownnosing" as a term, right?

Weird thing to say anyway IMO.

The bringing of naked arses + faces is a v odd thing to allude to, to a bunch of 8yo