Is it ok for a male teacher to say to an 8 yr old ‘only dogs sniff bums’?

[reallyconfusedmostofthetime]

My 8 year old daughter came home and said a boy in her class had chocolate on his face and her male teacher had said to him ‘only dogs sniff peoples bums’. I was horrified, checked with a friend I trust and my sister also once a teacher if I was right to be and emailed the head saying I was concerned that it showed a lack of judgement on the teachers part. The head wasn't concerned and I got a very dismissive reply. Is it ok? Have I got it wrong? Am I being a prude? Is my whole idea of teacherhood wrapped up in Matilda’s relationship with Miss Honey..?.It’s entirely possible...

[lemonjumper]

Not personally bothered by a poop joke aimed at an 8 year old.

But the whole regularly pushing a boy into a table thing is a bit

[Motherofcreek]

Yeah I think this is inappropriate

[Hippogator]

No way. That's completely inappropriate from the teacher. At the very least it shows poor judgement. Making any sexual innuendo to small kids is weird and a red flag.

[BiscuitDrama]

I’d consider his comment (and the bane of my life one) to be unkind and unprofessional.

[Prequelle]

How is that a sexual innuendo for God's sake.

[TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross]

Bluntness is spot on.

[NoTNoShade]

Right well all of that stuff isn’t the norm. The making them feel loved and the hugs and the special messages to your house ‘just for her’.

Feeling safe, happy, inspired and educated.

There are some children who will also need to feel loved from the adults at school, because that is something that is. It happening in their home lives.

[reallyconfusedmostofthetime]

It’s such a mix isn’t it of responses. It’s interesting. It seems to the teachers that are more inline with how I see it. Commentson - I’m not offended by him calling my daughter the bane of his life more sad that he thinks this is funny at her expense. If I went into a work place and was called the bane of someone’s life I’d take it but I’m not sure I’d be feeling this person values and respects me!

[Disfordarkchocolate]

I think it's crude and the sort of comment that doesn't belong in a classroom at any age, especially when made by a teacher. I don't think I would have contacted the school though.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

Are teachers allowed to hug pupils? I didn’t think they are anymore.

[Shambalawadeewadee]

OP - one other thing though, it’s not a teacher’s job to make your dc feel loved. Confident, valued yes but loved, no. I have my own dc for that,
I really care about the children in my class but I don’t love them. It sounds like you have had some exceptionally caring teachers but at the end of the day, teachers are doing a job they are paid for.

I would NEVER push a child into a table.

[Absolutepowercorrupts]

I'd be incredibly worried about a teacher making my child feel loved, special, hugging them and sending cards with special messages in them.
Sniffing bum remark, silly

[Bluntness100]

Op, teachers shouldn't be cuddling kids over a certain age, sending them private cards, making them feel special and loved.

They should be teaching them, encouraging them, challenging them, many things, but making them feel loved and hugging on them is not appropriate when kids are eight. It's really not.

A child should feel loved in their home life, their parents, friends, family, but a teacher should not be letting a child know they love them and cuddling them, sending them private cards as you describe.

[NoTNoShade]

I’m a teacher.

[Shambalawadeewadee]

Also, some of the pupils who I might have jokingly described as the bane of my life, were also my favourite ones. I would not describe a child as the bane of my life if they really were one of the challenging and irritating (sorry but some of them are) ones!

[BertrandRussell]

I’d have non problem with the “bane if my life” comment if it was said in a grin and ruffling hair sort of way. Like a “dad joke”. But the sniffing bums is vulgar and inappropriate and, apart from anything else, misjudged because it will open the door for kids to say the same sort of thing back to him.

I wouldn’t take it any further but I would be keeping an eye on things. And I would be saying to my child that it was a bit of an icky thing to say and not to repeat it. They are old enough to j ow that senses of humour differ between people.

[Bookworm4]

You want your kids to feel loved and special at school and this is the most important thing.

OP
That's a very odd attitude towards school, as far as I was aware teachers shouldn't be hugging pupils or making a fuss of one child. School is to be educated, your job is to love them and prepare them for life. Bear in mind you're being fed this information by an 8 yr old who is probably aware you don't like the teacher.
Think you need to wind your neck in and get your head into the real world or your DC will have some strange ideas about life.

[TatianaLarina]

I’m a teacher. I would not say that to an 8yr old. He doesn’t sound like a ‘big personality’ he sounds like a bit of a knob tbh.

No way. That's completely inappropriate from the teacher. At the very least it shows poor judgement. Making any sexual innuendo to small kids is weird and a red flag.

I think it's crude and the sort of comment that doesn't belong in a classroom at any age, especially when made by a teacher

These.

I’m surprised anyone would think this guy’s behaviour is appropriate.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

Shamba EXACTLY!

I can remember every single bane of my life. They made teaching a joy. They were prickly and argumentative in all the right places, made me think, stretch myself and be a better teacher.

I don't know any teacher who doesn't have their own 'banes', no matter what term they use to describe them!

[icelollycraving]

I’d complain about a teacher saying my child was the bane of their life. I’d complain about bullying. I would not complain about a slightly crude silly joke.
The teachers are there to inspire, get them to learn in a way that is inclusive and encouraging, they should feel happy and safe. Loved? Not so much.
My ds’ teacher this year is the first I think to actually get him. She is utterly kind and compassionate but has boundaries.
Someone saying they have a big personality equals a bit of an arse. He possibly has a mug in the staffroom with the ‘you don’t have to be mad to work here but it helps’
Perhaps beggars couldn’t be choosers if he started halfway through the year.
You should not under any circumstances be telling the head to train etc. The idea of you suggesting that is inappropriate.

[Fresta]

None of this sounds particularly worrying- sounds like the teacher just likes to joke. As long as the kids understand it to be a joke and are not adversely affected by it then it's fine- and often teachers who children find funny can also be good at engaging the children more and able to manage behaviour in a positive way.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

The sniffing bums comment is crude, but 8 year olds tend to like crude bum jokes. Maybe they'll all grow out of it!

The table pushing might be one of those things that spring up every now and then. I had a student who I closed the door on regularly. He had a habit of being late, I threatened to lock him out. Then, whenever he got to the door I would close it, even if he were first in. Maybe the other kids thinks it is funny, depending on the reason it started.

Wanting teachers to love your child, hug them and treat them as part of their own family is weird. I am pretty certain that would become a safeguarding issue if seen by SMT!

[brizzlemint]

It's a bizarre thing to say but I wouldn't waste time on it.

[TatianaLarina]

How can you expect children not to tell crude bum jokes if their teachers do it? They’re supposed to be setting an example.

[Lavellan]

Was your daughter relating it to you because she found it funny, or because she was worried by it? I thought 8 year olds still considered poo jokes to be the absolute height of humour.