Is it ok for a male teacher to say to an 8 yr old ‘only dogs sniff bums’?

[reallyconfusedmostofthetime]

My 8 year old daughter came home and said a boy in her class had chocolate on his face and her male teacher had said to him ‘only dogs sniff peoples bums’. I was horrified, checked with a friend I trust and my sister also once a teacher if I was right to be and emailed the head saying I was concerned that it showed a lack of judgement on the teachers part. The head wasn't concerned and I got a very dismissive reply. Is it ok? Have I got it wrong? Am I being a prude? Is my whole idea of teacherhood wrapped up in Matilda’s relationship with Miss Honey..?.It’s entirely possible...

[PCohle]

NoTnoshade I don't think the remark was particularly sexual. Accusing a male teacher of being a paedophile on the basis of one joke you find distasteful seems a wild overreaction.

The OP seems perfectly comfortable with previous teachers frequently hugging her DD. Surely pushing children's physical boundaries is much more alarming?

[Smotheroffive]

I meant discussing different teachers styles and interactions is a good opportunity for DC to learn perspectives.

[Smotheroffive]

I fail to see how the ill-advised targetted joke is in any way sex-linked.

Theres no mention of which sex of bum he referred to.

It's just a poo joke. A knobbish joke to be in with the kids and failing. It's pandering to the lowest form and crossing boundaries.

He was simply trying to reference the chocolate on the face as being poo. There's nothing in the words given here to suggest otherwise is there?

[TatianaLarina]

bum sniffer

[PCohle]

For the love of god he said "only dogs sniff people's bums".

Do you seriously think the OP should have (another) meeting with the headmaster and insist this was actually a veiled reference to rimming because urban dictionary says so?

The headteacher will piss himself.

[TatianaLarina]

Has anyone said that?

[PCohle]

Forgive me, I must have misunderstood the reason you were linking to "bum sniffer" on urban dictionary.

Could you perhaps elaborate on what you felt this was adding to the thread if you don't in fact feel this is useful information for the OP to act on?

[BertrandRussell]

Even the professionally unoffended of Mumsnet can’t think it’s appropriate for a teacher to suggest that a child has shit on his face, surely. Without going into the possible inner meanings of a vulgar and unfunny expression. Apart from anything else, it lays the child open to teasing/bullying by his peers, and will make it harder for the teacher to maintain discipline.

[NoTNoShade]

I’m absolutely not suggesting he’s a paedophile and I’ve already said earlier in the thread that the feeling loved by your teachers and the hugging is not the norm.

The Also trying to work out the significance of the teacher being male? comments are deliberately obtuse I think.

[Walkaround]

reallyconfused - was your dd upset by the comment and/or was the boy it was directed at upset by it? I think it was a thoughtless, silly comment, but in all honesty, different children have different senses of humour, just the same as adults. I don't think it is your job to be professionally offended if no actual harm was done, tbh. The teacher presumably knows the characters of the children in his class better than you do. Likewise with calling your dd the bane of his life - I know a lot of men and boys who express their affection towards others by calling them pests or pains or plebs, or the banes of their life (with a tone of voice which indicates they mean the opposite). They tend to be faultlessly polite to people they loathe - it's how you know they don't like someone. It may not be your style of communication, that doesn't mean offence is meant or automatically taken.

[FangsTasticBeast]

Bit of a weird thing to say unless they were going around sniffing each other’s bums but I wouldn’t complain about it

One of ds3s teachers was tormenting a couple of them about falling in poo the other week (it was mud)

Unless the child it was aimed at was upset by it but I’d expect his parents to be the one complaining in that case

[bamboowarrior]

horrid thing to say, seems totally inappropriate and unprofessional.

[LJdorothy]

I've called a pupil the bane of my life at parent's night, with the pupil there too. She was a beautifully behaved, hard working, delightful child. Both the pupil and the parents laughed, as it was clear I was joking. I'd never, ever say such a thing about a child who was actually the bane of my life! Maybe you needed to be there, OP.
Having said that, the poo joke is yucky.

[ballsdeep]

Maybe your child hasn't told u the whole context of the story. U don't know what was said beforehand and the comment may have been in conversation.

[WhyAmIPayingFees]

Can’t see what the fuss is about. Sounds like the teacher has a sense of humour and the OP does not.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

I want them to feel loved at school.

Your going to have a long 8 + years.

[IncrediblySadToo]

I think it’s weird, I mean, why would you see a child with chocolate on their face & think ‘shit’? But people are weird 🤷🏻‍♀️

However...Personally I’d keep a close eye on a man who makes sexually inappropriate comments around kids I’d be FAR more worried about someone who sees this as ‘sexually inappropriate’ or homophobic. That’s worrying.

My response ‘What a silly thing to say. ‘Change subject’’

[TatianaLarina]

Really?

If you say ‘only dogs sniff peoples bums’ to someone with chocolate on their face the implication is they have been sniffing someone’s bum close enough to get poo on their face - which would have to be right into the bum crack.

It’s a bizarre analogy as dogs are not sniffing other dogs’ anuses they’re sniffing the scent glands so it’s nothing to do with poo at all.

The confusion of dogs and humans and sniffing, private parts and poo is bizarre and if it was said to an adult the implication would be plain.

[Weightsandmeasures]

It's neither acceptable nor unacceptable. It's just a silly joke. What's the big deal?