Please don't 'baby' your children

[pineapple95]

Where do I start?

Parents of my y3/4 class routinely carry their children's bags in, take their lunch bags to the hall, hand in letters and money, put their reading diaries and spelling books in the right places on the right days, linger in the corridor chatting ... for goodness sake MAKE YOUR CHILD LOOK AFTER THEIR STUFF!

7-9 year olds can carry bags and remember books. Don't baby them. Even 3 year olds can carry their bags - don't be that parent who mollycoddles their children.

User260486 similarly in the US, motor skills and social-emotional skills are the focus in preschool, and there is tremendous support for this in the classroom. There are pressures to change this, sadly.

The preschool environment features crafts, art, classroom jobs for every child every day, classroom routines that introduce children to the school lifestyle and the concepts of caring for classroom property like paints and crayons, toys, etc, and also teach them to share and co-operate peacefully. Children also do activities like show and tell and story time whose purpose is to teach patient listening, co-operation, the fine art of focusing. A typical report for a four year old will answer questions along the lines of 'Does he work well with others?', 'Has he adapted to the school environment?', 'How are the gross/fine motor skills?' The child is encouraged to see himself in the context of home and the school community.

Formal instruction in reading and arithmetic begins only in Kindergarten. First grade is the year when reading and arithmetic instruction really kicks into high gear, when children are 6 turning 7.

Batteriesallgone
Anyway who glibly says ‘oh except for SEND children’ obviously has no experience of seeking a diagnosis in the current climate.
It takes years and years and often children get missed / ignored at school if they aren’t overly disruptive or behind.
zzzzz It costs nothing to believe in inclusiveness but actual diagnosis and provision of adequate TAs and aides is another story.

mathanxiety - would you not say there is a caste system where educational opportunity is concerned in the US, then? Your description of US preschool, by the way, sounds very similar to UK preschool.

Ps your description also fits with UK reception classes in UK schools, given that they are still using the Early Years Foundation Stage in reception, it is not part of Key Stage 1.

Of course they aren't as good at some things:

Dispisable nappies
Velcro
Fleece
Jersey interlock
And lots of other things that make life easier.
But the basics like potty training and cutlery are down to parents as are many things. My view was always that the school's role was to educate within boundsries that were consistent with mine but it was not nor ever should be a school's role to to parent. However, let's not forget all children are different.

One of mine could lose his head. The other was almost crushed by uncompromising cursive writing. One is sporty, one is musical. One at 20 still hates tying laces, one persevered and tauggt himself at 4.5. Each has their own challenges and gifts. One went to Oxford, one to Cambridge. One is alpha, one isn't.

It is for parents to prepare their children for the world and support the education of their children. I expect a school to support my families morals, culture and expectations. Mine went to an outstanding top of the tables primary until 8 and then to London Independents. The involvement and expectations at the indies were 11l0%. The expectation at the state school which had v committed parents was for them to be happy, go to uni, follow their vocations. At the indies it was be happy, go to the top uni's, be professionals. Also v high percentage of married parents compared to state sector and in London v multi-cultural. Families at the independents were very very integrated.

zzzzz - you need to distinguish propaganda from the reality on the ground! I worked with a French school that took in (middle class) children from many countries and school systems. The children who were by a long shot the most formatted and trained to strict classroom behaviours were... the English. The school curriculum for young children that was by far the closest to the French curriculum... the English! Diversity is really not a feature of outcomes in English schools: English schools are currently (this was not historically the case) extremely narrow in focus.

7-9 year olds can carry bags and remember books. Don't baby them. Even 3 year olds can carry their bags - don't be that parent who mollycoddles their children.

Whilst yes, as a rule this is true, my DS1 is dyspraxic, and he's going to forget stuff unless you have a strict routine. I'm happy to send him in prepared at the beginning of the day without me, but at the end, he's going to need you to have a routine where for a couple of weeks you remind him - do a wee, bottle, coat, book, shoes. And then, if the routine is interrupted (half-term, school play practise), he'll need the routine reinforced again. It's not his fault, it's not something he'll really get much better at, all we can do is manage it sensibly (and visit the lost property box freqently).

His little brother isn't dyspraxic, and doesn't need all of these reminders. It's an obvious and stark difference once you get to know them both.

zzzzz - I think that you have swallowed the propaganda hook line and sinker!

Ps your description also fits with UK reception classes in UK schools, given that they are still using the Early Years Foundation Stage in reception, it is not part of Key Stage 1.

Maybe it does, but there is formal reading and writing in reception, and fully formalised learning kicks in in year 1, when some are barely 5, while it usually starts a year or two later in most other educational systems.

My extremely well organised teenager was not harmed by me helping to zip up her coat or carrying bookbag/backpack/sports bag and musical instrument in primary. I did gradually encouraged to take on full responsibilty for her school work and organisation and she did not need any help by year 6, but needed plenty in Rec and years 1/2/3. I do believe that the expectations are often set too high for 4-6 year olds. Luckily my other's dc teacher fully undestood that at 4 and August baby there is so much they just could not do, and helped a lot.

User - I think 4 was too young for my ds1 to be at school - not because of the reading and writing, but because of his physical delays. He was being tested for neuromuscular disorders at the time. At least he got some credit for already being able to read and write. Parents were specifically allowed in reception to go into the classroom to help their children, though, where necessary. The OP, though, is about 7-8-year olds, who are in pretty much all education systems already learning to read and write by then. Not that I'm sure what that has to do with a general need for a 7 or 8 year old to have their parents come into the classroom with them to help them with lunchboxes, though?

Do you really think it is necessary for more than a very small number of parents of year3/4 children to actually enter the school building with their children to ensure they put their lunchboxes, bags and books in the right place? It does seem a bit disruptive.

The better, forward looking way of thinking about people is to allow people to embrace both/all their cultures fully rather than diluting them into the cultural no man’s land that is the English national curriculum. It is not diverse or inclusive not to acknowledge cultural relativism.

People need to possess 100% knowledge of their local culture, according to cultural norms and the cultural calendar; and 100% knowledge of their heritage culture, according to cultural norms and the cultural calendar. Only then can they arbitrate effectively between the two and reach their own conclusions about the cultural clashes they inevitably come up against.

100% of what a monolingual and monocultural child would know in his/her single culture, yes, at that age.

Cultural impoverishment is an absolutely critical driver of our current political predicament.

What schools unfortunately see a lot of are children arriving with next to no cultural knowledge at all.

If you think that teachers are equipped with sufficient time and resources to take on board a highly culturally disparate group of young children yet take them all to the same end point, I presume you also believe in unicorns?

I think the biggest cultural disparity at the moment is that between rich and poor - we're living with widening inequality. So children arriving at school inadequately fed and clothed will obviously struggle to learn.

I think many London primary schools and school in my home city which is also very diverse are very highly rated. (By contrast relatively monocultural schools in poorer rural areas may be doing rather less well.)

Make of it what you will.

Poverty always reduces access to culture.