How do I decide which primary school would be right for dd? She has 2 options...

[bitofadilemma]

Hi, am a regular but have changed my name for anonymity

I have a dilemma with dd`s primary school options. Both options seem to be very good schools but I am unsure quite how to decide which is the right one for her. Dh and I would both be very happy with either. We live in London so the problem comes at secondary school time?

So

She is a very bright and fairly confident child, quite bossy at home but very compliant at nursery. She adores learning and soaks it all up like a sponge, she is a bit of a girly swot, loves to be right about stuff and very proud when she learns new things. She forms very close attachments to a small number of friends but gets on well with all of the children really.

School 1
Our very good local co-ed state primary, 10 mins walk away, a lovely school, we were very impressed with the school and the inspirational headmaster when we looked round.

Pros
It is walking distance
She is an only child and may well stay that way so it would be nice for her to have her little friends locally.
On Fridays they abandon the national curriculum and do drama etc which is great.
Ofsted report very good, results good, vibe good. All local parents who have kids there rave about it.
No school fees

Cons:
It doesn?t open til 8.55 so she would have to be taken by someone else (which we have already organised) however that would mean she was dropped off and picked up by someone other than her parents which I don?t really like.
The extra curricular stuff is not great, nor is the sport.
They are knocking down the reception block so her first year would be in portacabins (not really a huge deal)
Although the results are good they are not a patch on school 2.
Class size of 30

School 2
A very good selective independent girls? school - she did very well to get in there were hundreds of applicants for a handful of places.

Pros
Almost all of the children go on to the secondary school which is a very good one, but very academic. This would remove the issue of what to do when she was 11, take away the pressure on her of getting her into a school then.
Dh or I could drop her off as it is on the way to work and opens at 8.20 so we would still be able to get to work on time. It would mean getting the train with her and hopping off 2 stops down the line and walking 5 mins to school.
It has fantastic sporting and extra curricular stuff
It has great facilities ie art studio, computer rooms, music room, good library etc.
It is very cheap for a private school and the total cost of primary and secondary there could be the same as sending her to a more expensive secondary.
She would be able to go all the way through in one school, which I did and really liked.
If she is academic then she would thrive in this environment I am sure.
Class size 22

Cons
Her friends would be less local (though there are plenty here that go there but as it is independent they could be from anywhere) though the school is only 10 mins drive from our home.
We would have to pay for it (but can afford it so not really an issue)
We would be less involved in the very local community
We found the headmistress rather scary (but apparently the children love her)

My feelings about it

1. She may feel less pressured in the local school but if she is bright then she may not necessarily feel pressured by being in a more academic environment.
2. She has done very well to get in to school 2 ? would we be mad not to send her there?
3. I would really like her to be in the local school, all the parents there seem lovely and it has a really good community feel.
4. What if we sent her to the local school and then she didn?t get in to such a good secondary school (arguably if she is bright enough she will anyway but it is extra pressure on her aged 11)
5. What if we send her to school 2 and she is not really very academic? How on earth can they tell from a 2hr assessment aged 4?

Any advice welcomed esp from those who have faced a similar dilemma!

bitofadilemma - wrt the sports/drama/music

Again, this is only my experience from one school, so it might not be relevant. The private school I know of, the kids who get to senior school excelling at a particualr sport, instrument, drama, singing - tend to have started or extended their interest in an out of school club. I assume the private school does a good job of reinforcing their talent/interest but the success isn't down to the school alone.

eg. the children who feature as the leads in the school theatre productions aged 17 will have been attending an out of school drama group from the age of 8.

The children who excel at rugby, cricket, tennis, swimming will have been attending a local, out of school club as well.

So, I am assuming that there are also children who in state schools, whose parents endorse extra-curricular interests, who are capable of doing equally well. The private schools can't always take full credit for turning out the superstars!!

No they can't take all the credit however 50 per cent of British Olympic medal winners attended schools in the independent sector.

and 50% didn't

Yes but only 7% of the school population are educated at private school.

aintnomountainhighenough - you miss my point. My point is that it is a certain type of parent who introduces their child to activities and interests that will enrich their lives. Of course these types of parents are going to make up a higher percentage of private school children. I feel that people put 2 + 2 together and make 5.

It's mainly down to the parents NOT the school.

I know of a 19 year old Olympic swimmer who went to a private school and the school didn't even have a swimming pool. So her achievement is nothing to do with the school.

Private schools do a good job of reinforcing these types of activities and in comparison to some state schools create more of a culture where spending spare time on music/drama/sports/arts activities is valued.

I'm certainly not anti-private school. More like anti-myths surrounding private school.

Not read all the thread but I would say definately go with school 2, especially if she is bright. They are very good at picking the right sort of children for their schools even at age 4, so if she has got in she will do well there.

My dc's are at private and one of their friends recently left to go to State. The State school children are not as advanced as the private ones and the work is less wide ranging. They do not seem to have as many trips and certianly much less sport and outside or extra curricular activities.

Yes, the reason I said that in your position I would go for Option 2 is that I think that, having seriously considered a good private school, if you did send her to the local school, every time something wasn't quite right you would think, "Would this have happened at the private school?". You're much less likely to think that the other way round.

You know the private school is academically good, so your bright DD will definitely be challenged and encouraged there - even if she might also be at the local school.

I'm uncomfortably ambivalent about the whole thing, as I really love so many things about the boys' school, but I am absolutely certain that they would be given more focused attention, and in all probability more academically stretching work, in a good private school.

Good luck whatever you decide! Come and look around the school with your DD and see it 'in session'.

ekra, I agree with what I think is your main point, that the correlation between attending private school and being an olympic athlete might not be necessarily because of anything the private schools are doing in terms of providing facilities or teaching.

However, I would not agree with the assertion that it's down to some parents caring more about introducing their children to extracurricular activities that enrich their lives. I think it's more a case of straight economic exclusion from some sports and other activities. Sports clubs can be expensive to join, and equipment isn't cheap either. Ditto musical instruments and music lessons.

I take your point, singersgirl. I've had moments where I have thought I'd move my children to private schools if I'd had the money. But if it really came to it, I'm not entirely sure.

I may have come across a little negative in my earlier posts about some of my children's primary school's more "interesting" parents. However, I omitted to mention that some of their children are not only nice people but doing well academically. There seems to be an assumption on here that children of "problem" parents, or even ones from non-professional families, are a drain on schools' resources and bring down the SATs results. In my children's school, they accounted for several of the Level 5s in the Year 6 SATs.

So I have the added security of knowing that my children's primary school is not coasting on parental effort, and my children are seeing others conquer adversity. A lot is made on here of the superior confidence of private school pupils, but where would it go if their family's money went?

OK, I'm ambivalent. Maybe ecological concern should swing it for School 2 - dragon headmistresses are certainly an endangered species...

have you decided? just saw this and think school 1 is where my ds2 will be in reception of next year - happy to talk to you about our experiences there so far if you are still wavering! Also know parents of school 2 I think - is it PH?

go for school two if you can afford it - then you will be freeing up a state school place for those that need it.....

God I have just had to read the whole thread out of curiosity just to see which private school it is that you are talking about. Now I have finally worked it out, and I live almost opposite it! Those secondary girls definitely do wear make up, they must just put it on after getting off the train! They all seem very nice though, they smile at DS when he tries flirting with them!

hi yes we have decided on school 1

Would be grateful for any advice itsnotatoy!

Well, we will look out for you, then! I will be the unkempt one haranguing two noisy blond boys. Did you look round with your DD? DS1 (Y4) has just had a fantastic 3-day residential trip which has increased all my feelings of warm-fuzziness about the school, because the staff are all so lovely and looked after them all so well.