How do I decide which primary school would be right for dd? She has 2 options...

[bitofadilemma]

Hi, am a regular but have changed my name for anonymity

I have a dilemma with dd`s primary school options. Both options seem to be very good schools but I am unsure quite how to decide which is the right one for her. Dh and I would both be very happy with either. We live in London so the problem comes at secondary school time?

So

She is a very bright and fairly confident child, quite bossy at home but very compliant at nursery. She adores learning and soaks it all up like a sponge, she is a bit of a girly swot, loves to be right about stuff and very proud when she learns new things. She forms very close attachments to a small number of friends but gets on well with all of the children really.

School 1
Our very good local co-ed state primary, 10 mins walk away, a lovely school, we were very impressed with the school and the inspirational headmaster when we looked round.

Pros
It is walking distance
She is an only child and may well stay that way so it would be nice for her to have her little friends locally.
On Fridays they abandon the national curriculum and do drama etc which is great.
Ofsted report very good, results good, vibe good. All local parents who have kids there rave about it.
No school fees

Cons:
It doesn?t open til 8.55 so she would have to be taken by someone else (which we have already organised) however that would mean she was dropped off and picked up by someone other than her parents which I don?t really like.
The extra curricular stuff is not great, nor is the sport.
They are knocking down the reception block so her first year would be in portacabins (not really a huge deal)
Although the results are good they are not a patch on school 2.
Class size of 30

School 2
A very good selective independent girls? school - she did very well to get in there were hundreds of applicants for a handful of places.

Pros
Almost all of the children go on to the secondary school which is a very good one, but very academic. This would remove the issue of what to do when she was 11, take away the pressure on her of getting her into a school then.
Dh or I could drop her off as it is on the way to work and opens at 8.20 so we would still be able to get to work on time. It would mean getting the train with her and hopping off 2 stops down the line and walking 5 mins to school.
It has fantastic sporting and extra curricular stuff
It has great facilities ie art studio, computer rooms, music room, good library etc.
It is very cheap for a private school and the total cost of primary and secondary there could be the same as sending her to a more expensive secondary.
She would be able to go all the way through in one school, which I did and really liked.
If she is academic then she would thrive in this environment I am sure.
Class size 22

Cons
Her friends would be less local (though there are plenty here that go there but as it is independent they could be from anywhere) though the school is only 10 mins drive from our home.
We would have to pay for it (but can afford it so not really an issue)
We would be less involved in the very local community
We found the headmistress rather scary (but apparently the children love her)

My feelings about it

1. She may feel less pressured in the local school but if she is bright then she may not necessarily feel pressured by being in a more academic environment.
2. She has done very well to get in to school 2 ? would we be mad not to send her there?
3. I would really like her to be in the local school, all the parents there seem lovely and it has a really good community feel.
4. What if we sent her to the local school and then she didn?t get in to such a good secondary school (arguably if she is bright enough she will anyway but it is extra pressure on her aged 11)
5. What if we send her to school 2 and she is not really very academic? How on earth can they tell from a 2hr assessment aged 4?

Any advice welcomed esp from those who have faced a similar dilemma!

you mean 50% from the state school (go to private secondary)? I think that is very much the norm round here.

I think the facilities at the private school sound fabulous - you'll realise as she goes up in the state school that actually, they really do very little other than what the curriculum says (don't blame them for that) and even though they have this free Friday thing, I imagine, at the private school, she'll be doing music and sport etc. as part of her lessons.

I would take option two as the quality of her education will most likely be better.

On a different note, if option 1 is where i think it is, then you are a very lucky parent to have this "dilemma"

In that case, Option 2 is obviously also doing it's job (i.e. teaching!), so apologies if I implied that she might not get into private secondary from there. I suppose, if it were me, and I had the choice, then I would go with Option 2, just because of the easier childcare arrangements and smaller classes. But that's just me.

Sorry FOX what I meant wasa that in DS year 7 in private senior

50% came from state and 50% from private primary schools

So it is split so it doesn't matter which way you have joined the private school at 11

Does that make sense cos it does in my head but the typed words don't seem to be working properly today

I also should say (but I only have experience of the local state school which we are very happy with) that I have to go out of my way to organise the children into doing sport/clubs. So, I've had to find a gym club for dd, football for ds, painstaking pester the sports centre for swimming lessons etc. etc. Now, while I don't begrduge that at all, I do look at my friends with children at the local private schools who have all that provided for them and think how much easier it all seems . Especially if you are both working full time and intend for that to continue!(though tbh, your nanny would just handle it all on your behalf wouldn't she!).

Will people's opinions really influence you in any way?

No, I am just interested to hear what others think who have been through similar process. We are going round in circles about it and so any fresh ammo for debate would be good. Also there may be pros or cons we have not thought of.

For eg had not thought about having to arrange all the extra curricular stuff outside school

Yes the nanny could do it but I would rather we did or she did with her friends at school tbh.

(btw the nanny is part time, we will keep her on, have had her since dd was born)

What about the nanny?

XXXXXXXXXXXX posted

Am hoping to arrange more p/t work in the future so I can pick her up

bitofadilemma the truth is they can't tell how academic a child is so young. It is a snapshop of how they appear then, in terms fo concentration, discipline, sociability and cooperation rather than actual academics or even potential. You are rightly proud that she got a place and if it is competitive entry should not turn it down lightly but tbh if she is going to develop that way and you change your minds about school 1 you will have other opportunities to get her into 2 further up the school, probably at 7+.

Also I don't think you can compare the results like for like - by the nature of selective entry in school 2 it should produce "better" results, that assumes they even publish theirs as independent schoosl do not have to, and it may not reflect the actual achievement of individual pupils or the teaching.

How important are the extra curricular activities and sport likely to be to you and your dd ? Bear in mind that, as her school day lengthens, it may become increasingly difficult to also fit in other locally based activities where she might make local friends.

what about boys?

will she know how to interact with them if she goes to all girls from age of 4

But LIZS I wouldn't really want to put her into the local school for 2 years then wrench her away from all her friends and stuff her into school 2!

I think the extra curricular is important. Also the sport - we both firmly believe that the more sport a child gets the better!

Well both dh and I went to single sex schools and we are both very capable of interacting with the opposite sex

We have agreed that we feel it makes no difference really

(also, I see the older girls from school 2 on the train in the morning, they look nice and natural, then I see the girls from the co-ed school and they are all PLASTERED in make-up just to go to school, presumably to impress the boys!)

DH went to single sex and I went to mixed and we felt we wanted DS to go to mixed then single sex @ 11 to best of both worlds

but it is your DD and so your choice!!!!!

I was just trying to give another pov to give you these ideas you asked for

plastered with make up for PRIMARY school

oh yes of course
all points for discussion are welcomed!

We have of course discussed a lot of things around this that i haven't written here and discounted them eg the single sex vs co-ed thing.

nonono
secondary!

You may not want to atm (7+ is actually at the end of year 2) but it may be an option if it turns out school 1 isn't working out for the best for your dd or the head leaves and things change, for example. You seem to think you have to decide now for the be all and end all when in fact that may not be the case ! The school ds joined at Year 3 had at least 10 join in that year with him.

Yes good point
I should also say that dd is a September baby so will be one of the oldest in the class. It does worry me a bit that some of the younger ones will be so far behind her, how can the teacher cater to such a wide range of abilities?

go to state
if she is bright she will excel anyway
and will be more in real and local world
until 11 anyway
must play with boys too
save money for enriching activities of your choice and brilliant nanny who can drive her to them

can you really select at 4?