How do I decide which primary school would be right for dd? She has 2 options...

[bitofadilemma]

Hi, am a regular but have changed my name for anonymity

I have a dilemma with dd`s primary school options. Both options seem to be very good schools but I am unsure quite how to decide which is the right one for her. Dh and I would both be very happy with either. We live in London so the problem comes at secondary school time?

So

She is a very bright and fairly confident child, quite bossy at home but very compliant at nursery. She adores learning and soaks it all up like a sponge, she is a bit of a girly swot, loves to be right about stuff and very proud when she learns new things. She forms very close attachments to a small number of friends but gets on well with all of the children really.

School 1
Our very good local co-ed state primary, 10 mins walk away, a lovely school, we were very impressed with the school and the inspirational headmaster when we looked round.

Pros
It is walking distance
She is an only child and may well stay that way so it would be nice for her to have her little friends locally.
On Fridays they abandon the national curriculum and do drama etc which is great.
Ofsted report very good, results good, vibe good. All local parents who have kids there rave about it.
No school fees

Cons:
It doesn?t open til 8.55 so she would have to be taken by someone else (which we have already organised) however that would mean she was dropped off and picked up by someone other than her parents which I don?t really like.
The extra curricular stuff is not great, nor is the sport.
They are knocking down the reception block so her first year would be in portacabins (not really a huge deal)
Although the results are good they are not a patch on school 2.
Class size of 30

School 2
A very good selective independent girls? school - she did very well to get in there were hundreds of applicants for a handful of places.

Pros
Almost all of the children go on to the secondary school which is a very good one, but very academic. This would remove the issue of what to do when she was 11, take away the pressure on her of getting her into a school then.
Dh or I could drop her off as it is on the way to work and opens at 8.20 so we would still be able to get to work on time. It would mean getting the train with her and hopping off 2 stops down the line and walking 5 mins to school.
It has fantastic sporting and extra curricular stuff
It has great facilities ie art studio, computer rooms, music room, good library etc.
It is very cheap for a private school and the total cost of primary and secondary there could be the same as sending her to a more expensive secondary.
She would be able to go all the way through in one school, which I did and really liked.
If she is academic then she would thrive in this environment I am sure.
Class size 22

Cons
Her friends would be less local (though there are plenty here that go there but as it is independent they could be from anywhere) though the school is only 10 mins drive from our home.
We would have to pay for it (but can afford it so not really an issue)
We would be less involved in the very local community
We found the headmistress rather scary (but apparently the children love her)

My feelings about it

1. She may feel less pressured in the local school but if she is bright then she may not necessarily feel pressured by being in a more academic environment.
2. She has done very well to get in to school 2 ? would we be mad not to send her there?
3. I would really like her to be in the local school, all the parents there seem lovely and it has a really good community feel.
4. What if we sent her to the local school and then she didn?t get in to such a good secondary school (arguably if she is bright enough she will anyway but it is extra pressure on her aged 11)
5. What if we send her to school 2 and she is not really very academic? How on earth can they tell from a 2hr assessment aged 4?

Any advice welcomed esp from those who have faced a similar dilemma!

Ah. Yes. (to looking round the state one).

Does your dh have a big preference?

Would eb worth seeing how much she engages with it as a comparison. Personally I 'd go with the one she feels happier with, assuming that is feasible of course.

No we are in a similar place on it really

He just read this thread and found it very interesting

yes I may call them
What do I say though?

Despite having accepted a place at your school I may not take it up... err ???

We have found that we tend not to do much at weekends other than parties and matches/clubs which are school based anyway. You'll find a way around it if you opt for 2.

I would probably go for option 2 in your circumsntances. However 2 things would make me a bit wary.

Firstly, being an only child and going to an all girls school is something I would think long and hard about (I went to a single sex school myself, as did DH, so am not opposed at all, but would prefer that to happen at 9 or 11).

Secondly I honestly would have concerns about something which you see as a virtue, which is being at the same school from 4 to 18. I'm not sure I think it is good for them as I really think it is good for them to have a change from time to time.

For not real reason other than that is it a 5 minute walk from a train station in London I think we might live near your school 2. We would very much like DD to go there, but have sent her to a co-ed school in the area with the intention of moving her there at 11. I also think at 11 they are more likely to be suited to the school they end up at as the exams are much better predictors of what the schools are looking for.

Anchovy it is SW London

If they are odd about her visiting it gives you an answer of sorts tbh. Can't you say you are wanting to confirm you previous opinion ?

anchovy why do you think it would make a difference if you are an only child to go to single sex school?

Now come on. Think Disraeli. Never apologise, never explain. You want to see round the school, you are not a perv, you have a child of the right age. What's more your dd has a place. The only question they should ask IMO is 'is Thursday OK for you?'

I can see Anchovy's point.

For comparison: I am moving dd (who's 6) to an all-girls school in Sept, & I did need to think it through, & decided it was OK because (i) my dd is old enough now for me to see that she is at her happiest in a throng of little girls - completely at her ease - & not (like I was!) a bit of a prickly out-on-a-limb tomboy; and (ii) she's got an older brother, so boys will always be a run-of-the-mill natural daily part of life - she runs no risk of thinking they're anything special or different.

local school kid can walk to will be far more important to her and social life - the bits you arent's keen on like lack of sports you can sort with after school activities - makes a big difference to have a network of local friends

Ah, yes - it was SW London I was thinking of, so I'm pretty sure it is where I am thinking of. My DCs are at a mixed private school nearby (would you like me to introduce option 3 into the mix ).

It is just my view. I grew up with 2 brothers (one a bit older and one a bit younger). Consequently I never particularly had views about boys being different/special/unsusal etc. I am quite keen for the DCs on having a mix of male/female things around (and am fortunate in having one of each). DD likes playing with Thunderbirds, DS likes playing with My Little Ponies etc. Just from a personal perspective, I like them operating in a mixed environment and just from a personall perspective I find all that very girly/all pink/princessy stuff a bit off. If I did not have a DS I would think very carefully about sending DD to an all girls school. But honestly, that is just me and my DCs.

It is a very good school and well done your DD for getting in. As I say I would be delighted for DD to go there at 11 (we have just committed her to the mixed school DS is at, but that is also because I can't face having children at separate schools at this stage).

(We did not have the same dilemna as you as we don't have good state schools close to us that are not very heavily over subscribed church schools).

As ever, the circumstances for one child/family are not the same for another child/family.

Bitofadilemma, I am fairly sure I know who you are (on MN) and fairly sure my sons go to the state primary school you are considering.

All those good things you have said about it are true - it is a lovely community school and there are loads of bright motivated children with well-educated motivated parents. The sporting/extra-curricular provision actually isn't bad (though perhaps not much compared to the girls' school you are considering) - there is afterschool multisports, gymnastics, French, chess, drama, basketball, tennis, football, netball, and something called Mindlab.

It is lovely to walk to school and to friends' houses and my sons' are friends with lots of lovely children.

On the other hand, it does not really always stretch or motivate the most academically able - not saying that my sons are among them. DS2 (5) is very good at literacy and reading (started Reception reading fluently etc) and he is very uninspired at the moment: "Mummy, I have already told you we don't learn anything interesting in school. Can you give me some tricky spellings to do as mine are all too easy?" In fact I am a bit concerned about him right now.

On the other hand, plenty of children go in skipping etc and the standards of attainment generally seem very high. In DS1's Y1 class there are loads of excellent readers and writers. If your DD is very bright she would probably sail into a good independent school at Y6.

Er....that's it, but would be happy to post more, honestly, if you are interested.

wow
thanks Singersgirl I wonder if it is the same school....do I know you in rl?

Any info would be great really

Anchovy she does have good friends who are boys outside school

bump for afternoon lot!

bitofadilemma - you are wondering how the school can tell your dd is very academic at age 4. Did you find out how many children applied to the join Reception and how many were turned down?

I know of a very academic school that goes from age 4-18 and they only turn down 1 or 2 children that apply to Reception. It seems that they accept nearly everyone who applies because there aren't that many applying. The children still have to take the senior school assessment at age 11. Children who have been let into the Junior School who turn out not to be very academic, don't necessairly get a place at the Senior School.

The Senior School admits 50% of its Senior School intake from State schools. I think the parents have latched onto that fact and are now saving their money and not bothering with the private junior school.

Are you just looking for justification for sending your dd to the private school? Has she stressed an interest in either one? Does she have any friends who will be attneding the local school?

In your position, with just one child who will definitely be attending a private senior school and parents who have no specific objections to private school, I'd opt for the private school. I'm sure you won't regret the decision.

thanks ekra

No it is very competitive I know of lots of kids who didn't get in, there were hundreds of them at the assessment day

It is a two form entry and another form is added at 11, so there are 44 places at age 4 and another 22 at 11. Given that most of the ones from the junior school go up that leaves very few places for outsiders at 11
It is not the only option there are loads of other good private schools around but this is the most convenient and the cheapest!

That sounds like a small senior school. Very different to the one I was talking about. Not that I thought it was the same one out of the hundreds

Am now wondering whether it is perhaps the school my DD1 is at (SW London, right?). If that's the case, I'd go for the private option at primary too!

sorry in answer to other qs

No not looking for justification, all I want is the right school for my dd, the one at which she will be happiest!

She has 4 friends from nursery adn a few others from out of nursery who will be going to local school

Only one who will be going to the private school

oh gg I wonder
it's on a hill..

I don't know if it is small
66 per year sounds quite big to me!

Bottom of the hill, right?! 66 per year where? Less than that in the Junior school, I think, and more in the Senior school? I could be wrong ...