How do I decide which primary school would be right for dd? She has 2 options...

[bitofadilemma]

Hi, am a regular but have changed my name for anonymity

I have a dilemma with dd`s primary school options. Both options seem to be very good schools but I am unsure quite how to decide which is the right one for her. Dh and I would both be very happy with either. We live in London so the problem comes at secondary school time?

So

She is a very bright and fairly confident child, quite bossy at home but very compliant at nursery. She adores learning and soaks it all up like a sponge, she is a bit of a girly swot, loves to be right about stuff and very proud when she learns new things. She forms very close attachments to a small number of friends but gets on well with all of the children really.

School 1
Our very good local co-ed state primary, 10 mins walk away, a lovely school, we were very impressed with the school and the inspirational headmaster when we looked round.

Pros
It is walking distance
She is an only child and may well stay that way so it would be nice for her to have her little friends locally.
On Fridays they abandon the national curriculum and do drama etc which is great.
Ofsted report very good, results good, vibe good. All local parents who have kids there rave about it.
No school fees

Cons:
It doesn?t open til 8.55 so she would have to be taken by someone else (which we have already organised) however that would mean she was dropped off and picked up by someone other than her parents which I don?t really like.
The extra curricular stuff is not great, nor is the sport.
They are knocking down the reception block so her first year would be in portacabins (not really a huge deal)
Although the results are good they are not a patch on school 2.
Class size of 30

School 2
A very good selective independent girls? school - she did very well to get in there were hundreds of applicants for a handful of places.

Pros
Almost all of the children go on to the secondary school which is a very good one, but very academic. This would remove the issue of what to do when she was 11, take away the pressure on her of getting her into a school then.
Dh or I could drop her off as it is on the way to work and opens at 8.20 so we would still be able to get to work on time. It would mean getting the train with her and hopping off 2 stops down the line and walking 5 mins to school.
It has fantastic sporting and extra curricular stuff
It has great facilities ie art studio, computer rooms, music room, good library etc.
It is very cheap for a private school and the total cost of primary and secondary there could be the same as sending her to a more expensive secondary.
She would be able to go all the way through in one school, which I did and really liked.
If she is academic then she would thrive in this environment I am sure.
Class size 22

Cons
Her friends would be less local (though there are plenty here that go there but as it is independent they could be from anywhere) though the school is only 10 mins drive from our home.
We would have to pay for it (but can afford it so not really an issue)
We would be less involved in the very local community
We found the headmistress rather scary (but apparently the children love her)

My feelings about it

1. She may feel less pressured in the local school but if she is bright then she may not necessarily feel pressured by being in a more academic environment.
2. She has done very well to get in to school 2 ? would we be mad not to send her there?
3. I would really like her to be in the local school, all the parents there seem lovely and it has a really good community feel.
4. What if we sent her to the local school and then she didn?t get in to such a good secondary school (arguably if she is bright enough she will anyway but it is extra pressure on her aged 11)
5. What if we send her to school 2 and she is not really very academic? How on earth can they tell from a 2hr assessment aged 4?

Any advice welcomed esp from those who have faced a similar dilemma!

well zizou
that is waht I was wondering!

Age doesn't necessarily come into it - dd is August born but well up with her class , many of whom are September/October b'days. The state shcool may stagger the start accoridng to age or put thme in specifc classes/groups based upon b'days until they are more established. Chances are in the private one they are all there together from the start.

they stream in state schools for lit and numeracy
range is enormous in first few years
in dds reception class 2 children reading at age 8! (not my dd) and about 6 not knowing any letters at all.

Yes LIZS they will

I was talking specifically about some children who go to dd's nursery, they seem such babies in their speech and drawing etc (a year makes such a difference) but then her best friend is only just 4 (yesterday) and seems very up with it.

oh and not necessarily good to be in same school all your life
sometimes good to be able to escape
at 11
start again etc
can be a bit cloying to stay in same environment esp with GIRLS for whole school career

STATE is GREAT

I'm sure it is
I have no personal experience of it though

aha there's the rub innit
I think
you always go with what you know
or vehemently against it if it has been terrible
Save the money for her university fund.

but zizou, dh and I would be equally happy with either school

It is more about what would be right for her

oh last thing
walking to school is much better than driving
for you
for her
for the environment
for your links with community/friends/picking up on school gossip etc

Ok really must go but
if it is a good state and it does sound good
and she is bright
which she does sound
and sociable
which she also sounds
then I think the benefits will definitely outweigh the disadvantages.
good luck

Agreed
But we would not be able to walk her to school as it starts at 8.55 and we have to get to work! We would drop her at a friend's who goes to teh same school and their au pair would walk her to school with their kids.

At least in the private school dh and I would be able to drop her off ourselves - and if you read my op it would not be in a car but by train!

thanks for your input zizou

oh well that scraps that argument then apart from on her feeling locally included.
good luck will check out later to see what's been said.

School 2.

Because if you change your mind you are more likely to be able to move from School 2 to School 1, rather than the other way. (School 1 may be oversubscribed now, but most London state schools have lots of movement. Very sought after, and especially affordable private schools, though, tend to have people bedding in for the duration.)

Also, I think practicalities - like drop-off times & after-school opportunities - matter much more than one anticipates.

Re assessment at 4 - they'll know what they're looking for, & it's "teachability" and motivation, as much as (actually, probably more than) raw brains. She sounds eminently motivated & teachable, so she's just what they want & will be fine.

OK that's interesting Bink, thanks

FWIW she really wants to go to school 2 as she loved the assessment day (oh mummy I love that school, you know they let you do WHATEVER YOU WANT!!) I have explained that it would not be like that to go there¬!

i think from reading the info you have put here, with your choices, I would go for school 2, primarily for the drop-off. I currently don't drop ds off at preschool (I do pick him up) and I hate it, as this is when the teachers have time for a quick chat/arrange appointments, and I don't have a feel for how cheerful or not ds looks going into the session.

Also for the extracurricular stuff, which matters hugely to me.

NB for my own personal choice and for my ds, who has a big genetic risk of a major mental health disorder later in life, I have prioritised local friends/stability. And because we are boracic, of course

Yes
I think that is the major thing for me really

If the private school was as near as the state I think I would go for that.

10 minutes away is no distance in the scheme of things . Many kids at dc's school (including them for a more than a year) travel 15/20 minutes plus.

Well it's not so much the fact it is 10 mins away, more that the catchment area is much wider. If she went locally all the kids would live locally. If she went there they could come from all over the place

(I do know several children who go there from my local area though)

TBh having read one of your later posts, if your dd has fallen for one of the schools, that should be a big component.

I'm on the governing body at the local primary - we did a thing the other month about what we all really want for the school - what i would love is for every child there to feel EXCITED about going to school every day. Education should be a love affair. Obviously it can't always be like that, but if your dd has met and fallen for the school, that's a really good start.

True but in practice how much of an issue is that likely to be ? ime opportunties for playdates after school are already quite limted as they all do different activities after school and neither schedules nor stamina tie up easily. Birthday parties tend to be held at more central locations rather than houses.

Yes true
but she has not been to the state primary other than to pick up her friend a couple of times with me when friend's mum was stuck.

They have not yet had a day to which the children are invited.

Do you think I should arrange for her to go round it?

LIZS i was thinking more of weekends