To write letter to request DS has a particular teacher when he starts reception in September

[BingBong36]

I have another son that is in year 1 now and I really disliked his reception teacher for various reasons (so did he). She has a very stern approach, there is a job share and at parents evening they totally spoke over each other etc and I just didn't warm to her. My youngest son is very sensitive summer boy and I really love the other reception teacher and feel he is best in her class.

I am going to write to the school to request this but how do I word it?

Thanks

It is also a possibility that the op actually knows what is best for her dc. Just sayin'.

It's irrelevent who wants who.

The point is that-as you've said yourself-

lots of other mums have done it and the school were fine about it

So, it's not just your one friend (who you knew beforehand), but lots of other mums. It takes exactly the situation I've described above-for the information that the head is a pushover and will bow to parental demands, that will cause. Those 'lots of mums' will each talk to lots more mums and word will spread.

Ltk, thank you, again!

Yes being his mum, I do feel I know what is best for him. And so, I will politely ask the head teacher if it is possible, and if not then no worries.

All if the people saying I would be school playground gossip are being ridiculous!!

I am able to pick which class my dd goes into every year according to which teacher I think would be the correct " fit" for my dd. I have known the school/ teachers for eleven years so know them well. However my dd has an asd so it is crucial she is in the class that is right for her.

In your instance I would make an appointment to see the head an ask. However play on the positives of the teacher you want him to go with not the negatives if the other teacher.

Butterfly Nope, not planning on doing it ever again - just to avoid this one teacher, that because of the way she moved classes meant that ds2 could have been in her class twice.

Now, having been a parent within the school system for much longer, reading more MNet, and knowing more parents and feeling more confident about what is right and wrong within the system, if one of my dc found themselves in a class with a teacher that, quite frankly, screwed up their education for an entire year, I would be in and complaining much sooner. It was only towards the end of the year that I discovered quite how many of the other parents in the class shared the same views I had about the teacher - there was one girl who had had an OK time with the teacher, didn't like as much as her YR teacher but didn't dislike. Apart from that, everybody else was unhappy. I could rant for a long time but I don't want to derail the OP's thread any further. And quite frankly if the teacher got upset because people requested their dc were not in her class then I would think it was Karma, given the upset she had caused over the year.

I also knew that the school tended to put younger siblings into the same class their elder sibling had been in, on the basis that the parent would already have built up rapport with the teacher, the child (particularly for those close together) may have been used to coming into the classroom to pick up their sibling etc etc which usually help for an easier transition into school (it's one where the dc start in YR so they don't have the benefit of them being in the school for a year already to know which classes to divide them into, they just rely on reports from nursery / pre-school if the dc happened to attend any).

OP you have nothing to lose by asking nicely, as you were/are planning on doing, if your dc2 can go into a class with a teacher that you think will suit them better. You'll have known that you tried, and the sooner it's done, before the allocations are made, the better, because that does get a lot more complicated. You're not making a demand, just a request, and one that they may or may not consider. But if you don't make it they can't consider it. I can't believe so many people think that it is BU to even ask nicely.

Redlocks, I know a lot of people that have gone through the school and at least 4 that I've know of, that are friends of mine have done it.

There is no gossip about it, I totally understood why they did it because they have the best interest of thier child at heart.

The head will either say yes or no.. !!! I'm not going in making demands.

Soap. Parents at my school know a lot about the teachers through their own children being in a class, volunteering in school for reading/school trips/various projects and through various standard meetings/contacts.

My son will not pick up on my anxiety I don't show that to him, he is only 3.

You are so very wrong if you think a child of 3 won't pick up on your anxiety, no matter how much you tell yourself you're hiding it from him.

Thank you zipzap for your understanding.

So Various if you are a working parent of a first born then you're at a serious disadvantage then?

Suburbanrhonda: no he won't, im not walking around all anxious about it!! I don't discuss my concerns with a 3 year old.

Think its fine for parents to occasionally make a suggestion to look after their child's needs. Of course the head will make the final decision.

Well, you would have to guarantee to never breathe a word of the conversation with the head to a soul, and to have never listened to anyone else in the playground speaking about their own conversations with the Head, or commenting on those of others they have heard about.
Clearly you have engaged in at least listening to gossip, because otherwise you couldn't report it here.

I hope for the sake of all the children in the school your DC is going to, that these are only rumours and that actually the Head has NEVER been prepared to listen to anyone's personal preferences for or against certain teachers, because if the Head has, you will not be the only one asking and a very difficult situation will exist in that school, that is not good for anyone.

The school are professionals and as your child starts the world of school, you have to let go and let them be professionals. This includes knowing which teachers are suitable for Reception aged children. As a parent,you might have views on all kinds of things to do with school, such as who the teacher should be, what kind of discipline should be used, how often they should read, whether DC should sit with X or Y child or not, whether they should have to stay in at playtime because of some particular incident, if they should have to sit in a noisy lunch hall they don't like, if they should have to get changed for PE when they don't like putting their clothes back on, etc etc.........you cannot influence all of these decisions and you should not attempt to. Unless you are prepared to make a specific complaint against this teacher, you really will have to accept the schools judgement on this one.

Whether you go to the ahead and tell anyone the outcome or no-one, any sensible Head will give you the same response. They will smile nicely at you and say they have listened to the information about your DC, but cannot take into account any personal preferences for teachers, that all the teachers are qualified and capable to teach all of the children and you will need to trust their professional judgement.

After you have made this request, the Head probably won't go round bad-mouthing you to the staff, because she will have seen it all before from anxious parents and has bigger, more important things to think about, such as running the school for all of the children.

And you don't know what is best for him at school. Part of children starting school is learning to let go and give over some areas of responsibility to someone else. This is clearly difficult for you and you want to have control over this aspect of his life......but you can't. And any sensible school will make that very clear to parents like you.

If there is a concrete reason to object to a teacher, then I agree it is right to raise it. Where there are serious concerns people should not just keep quiet if they feel their children are not and cannot learn in that class. There would need to be something to back up such a claim,not just a dislike of a particular personality.....which is what this seems to be.

Soap - yes parents who are in/about the school may have a different/extra insight? However personally I rely on my own child's experience, what they tell me but more importantly how happy they are. I can easily see if my child is blossoming it not in a specific set up, it's not rocket science.

Various but you won't know that until your child is in the class. If your child has problems in class absolutely being it to the attention of the class teacher or head. Make a complaint if necessary.

However, anything else eg attempting to influence the choice of next class teacher is conjecture based on snap shots of information.

There is no problem with making the school aware of your views about your child but you do not know the staff. Only the SMT know the staff. Their strengths and weaknesses, training etc

Chocolate you are forgetting that the it's parents who know thier children deeply, not the school. A school has next to no knowledge of a child coming into reception and will have no knowledge of any needs.

Secondly many parents are professionals and of equal standing in the community. And the school is essentially a service provider. Of course the head has to make the final key decision about class placement, but the real final say about what school or if to use a school at all, books down to the parents

Soap - op's first child had a negative experience in the class. All children are different but having had an older child go through the same class will have given great insight.

No, it doesn't, various. If you pull your child out of school because you don't like the teacher, you have no automatic entitlement to a different state school place. Though you can HE.

im not walking around all anxious about it!! I don't discuss my concerns with a 3 year old.

It's not about what you say. Never heard of body language? I work with anxious children and their parents and believe me, OP, there are many more ways of passing on anxiety than talking about it.

A school has next to no knowledge of a child coming into reception and will have no knowledge of any needs.

On what evidence do you base this statement, various? Schools work very closely with nurseries and pre-schools; they discuss children coming in, their needs and personalities and what support they will require. They have to, because any child who is likely to need additional support, either with their learning or with their emotional development, will affect staffing levels and which classes school support staff will be working in come September.

I'm not saying there's an automatic entitlement! If a parent wants to move their child to a different state school, yes there might be a waiting list. If a parent wants to home educate, they can if their situation allows. If a parent wants to go private or try an alternative education, they can if the situation allows. Schools are like other service providers in that you can switch if unhappy. It might take time yes. Luckily I have been very pleased with my sons education to date, however I have switched other service providers - GP's and dentist

Suburban - of course the school with have paperwork and regular info about the child but they do not know the child deeply like a parent would.

But what they do have deep experience of is how to cope with all those character traits and anxieties across a cohort,, year after year. The parent has no such experience.

OP- you are seriously seriously misguided if you think your children are not picking up on your negativity about this teacher and your anxiety about sending your child to school. You're shouting it out across the webpage here, are you seriously saying within the family context no-one notices?

How do you know she's strict? Because other parents (the ones you don't gossip with) tell you? Or because your other child told you? How did he tell you? What did he tell you? How did you react? What do you tell your children about school? How do you and your husband approach it with them? Does your husband agree with you?

I asked way back if I was right in understanding that it was Child 1 who hated this teacher, but child 2 cries every morning before nursery. How do you react when he does this? Do the nursery staff tell you he cried all morning, or that he was fine 10 minutes after you'd gone?

The school may not know the child inside out like the parents (though I actually find that often they know the "real" child a lot more than a doting parent does) but they know far better what is best for all the children in their care, not just the one whose Mum wants to be treated differently.