To write letter to request DS has a particular teacher when he starts reception in September

[BingBong36]

I have another son that is in year 1 now and I really disliked his reception teacher for various reasons (so did he). She has a very stern approach, there is a job share and at parents evening they totally spoke over each other etc and I just didn't warm to her. My youngest son is very sensitive summer boy and I really love the other reception teacher and feel he is best in her class.

I am going to write to the school to request this but how do I word it?

Thanks

I can't see what future implications there would be be honest.

True, lonnika. It is only my opinion. But having taught in (admittedly secondary) schools for 20 years, I have a fair bit of experience of how schools tend to feel about this sort of thing. Maybe primary school heads see these things differently, but I doubt it.

Anyway, in spite of how I see it from the school's point of view, I can of course totally understand the desire to have the best teacher for your child.

My ds (7) is moving into a class with a strict teacher next year. He isn't looking forward to it. It's true that this teacher is sterner and less smiley than the others in the school. But since there is only one class per year, that's definitely the teacher he will get. The teacher's current class seem to be doing fine and I have total confidence in the school.

Whatever happens, OP, I hope your ds has a good year.

Thanks Holmes.

Holmes I am primary and I don't think heads would mind a 'conversation' about a child starting school - tbh some parents will complain about the colour of the loo roll, the table he child is on , other people's kids, book bands. Friendship groups etc etc ! one parent making a 'request' before there child starts school is fine.

My experience of someone being 'that parent' is that the school will go out of their way to ensure they are kept happy as they don't want the fall out. the OP is not 'that parent' but to be honest even if she was it is not bad thing !

Should just say though - sometimes things turn out better than we expect ! I have little contact with the school in regard to my DS and he is doing just fine - he has had some dodgy teachers bit as it is one class per year I have just had to get no with it. Now my DD is a complete other story

What's his nursery teacher like, Bing? If, as you say, he still cries every morning going in; are you putting that down to the nursery's version of "Miss Stern" or realising he'll do it anyway, regardless of whether he gets Miss Honey or Miss Trunchbull?
What if he gets the smiley teacher and he still doesn't settle?

In my experience the quieter sensitive children seem to like a strict teacher (so long as the shouting isn't unfairly aimed at them). DD (in y3) is quiet and a bit (i.e. a lot) of a worrier and I was dreading this year because the teacher has a reputation for strictness and shouting. However dd loves her, possibly because as someone above has said, the class is calm and feels under control and children can get on with their work. The children who don't like her are the ones who don't do as they're told and who get shouted at.

OP just because your first child didn't get on with the teacher doesn't mean your second won't. In your place I'd do nothing and deal with problems as and when they arise. You might be pleasantly surprised. I'm glad dd is at a school with 1 class per year and therefore there's no choice/waiting for class lists etc. Surely giving parents any kind of choice could cause chaos?

Would like to echo what Thecat says. My dd is an incredibly anxious child which is a manifestation of her autism. Because she has a statement I did get to choose each teacher through Primary and without a doubt the best teachers for her were always the teachers who had very clear rules and expectations and were strict with the class as a whole. The popular (smiley, gentle, nurturing,) teachers with the children and some parents whilst being good teachers wouldn't necessarily have been the best for her. The most popular teacher with the children in dd's Primary would have left dd traumatised because she wouldn't have considered it fun to go out on the field to draw flowers when she was expecting to be painting in the art studio or where the class were loud, lively and exciteable.
I never mentioned that I chose dd's teachers but a couple of times a parent commiserated with me that dd had again got the strict teacher rather than the fun one and in fact the teacher who had the reputation of being "grumpy and not so nice" actually turned out to be the very best teacher we could have wished for.

OP - future implications might be that you don't like his teachers in future years? You won't get input on his teacher each year you know?

And I echo what everyone else is saying - dd was shy and a summer born but blossomed under the 'stricter' teacher.

Why are we having this conversation though? Everyone is pointing out drawbacks but you are determined you are right. why did you even post?

I accept that he will not always have teachers I like in future I'm just focussing in his first year.

There are no drawbacks. They will say yes or no and we move, on that is it. I'm not intending to drag it out.

Says the OP who still is still claiming, 12 pages on, that this is "no biggie".

The thing is, there are lots of important years! First year of secondary? Both years of GCSE and AS and A level? Arguably much more important which teacher they get for those than Reception, where they spend much of their time playing, regardless of which teacher they have.

Um, she posted because she wanted advice on how to word the letter that she had already decided to write. She agreed with posters early on that seeing the head in person would be better. 12 pages on and some posters still haven't grasped that this is not an AIBU, have apparently not read the OP, and not grasped that the OP does not need to follow your advice no matter how right you think you are.

Is this still going?

If DS1 hadn't had such an amazing Reception teacher, he would have been a selective mute. No way could I have sent him into his first year of school with a teacher such as the OP mentions.

He's now 16, and some of his GCSE teachers are better than others, but it doesn't matter so much if one subject is weaker....if a 4yo doesn't enjoy Reception, it's going to be miserable all round.

And the OP isn't so concerned about how much progress her child is going to make next year. The issue here isn't that the teacher can't teach phonics, or won't provide exciting maths activities...it's that she isn't a pleasent person.

Who wants to spend all day with someone who isn't particularly nice? Would any of you want to work with a brash, sarcastic person with no sensitivity? They may be great at their job, but they're not going to make your life very pleasent.

OP, there seems to be some sort of culture of you need to suck up what ever you don't like if you chose a state education for your child. He's your child, not the states, and you know what's best for him.

Over the years I've seen so many sensitive children who haven't had their needs respected, which has resulted in behaviour issues. Thankfully the OP's DS is less likely to have such issues, because she's one step ahead of the game, and is super aware of his needs.

And just to add...if you write a letter to the HT, they are highly unlikely to discuss the matter in general with other members of staff. You'll get a yes or a no, and the HT will move on to far more important matters.

ltk, (a) the thread title is written as an AIBU AND (b) the OP is still here, so presumably she still feels there are issues to address.

If you're bored of it yourself, you could always hide the thread.

I'm not bored. I'm impressed that people are still banging on with the disapproval and warnings of terrible consequences when the OP obviously still intends to do what she said she would in the OP, and getting increasingly angry with her for not taking their advice. And whatever the wording, it still ain't an aibu.

No I do not feel there are issues to be addressed, I'm going to speak to the head or whoever does the allocations. I am still here because I feel like I have to keep explaining myself.

Apologies for writing it as an AIBu, I had no idea!

Holmes I appreciate re having good teachers at gcse etc but his first year of school I would like to be a pleasant experience!!! I think a child's first year at school is quite important.

Tbf, ltk, most of us are just popping in, rather than banging on.

I've been at work for most of the day so haven't had time to bang on, fascinating though that would no doubt have been.

Lynette I'm not sure what the OP is actually concerned about or why she started this thread as it doesn't seem to serve any purpose

i used to work as a teacher. on of the teachers in the school was rude, direct, scathing, cross (I could go on and on)

few parents went to the head and voiced their concerns about not wanting their children in her class, they got their way.

if i was you i would give it a go, mention ALL the reasons why (so that it does not seem like you just dont like the teacher)

At our school the HT has no part in the allocation of class teachers. In reception the EYFS coordinator does it, in discussion with the reception staff and the information we have from the children's previous setting. For the rest of the school the DH does in, in discussion with the existing class teachers and the SENCo. Our head is far to busy to spend the days and days on the logistics of dividing 60 children between two classes.

too busy.