To write letter to request DS has a particular teacher when he starts reception in September

[BingBong36]

I have another son that is in year 1 now and I really disliked his reception teacher for various reasons (so did he). She has a very stern approach, there is a job share and at parents evening they totally spoke over each other etc and I just didn't warm to her. My youngest son is very sensitive summer boy and I really love the other reception teacher and feel he is best in her class.

I am going to write to the school to request this but how do I word it?

Thanks

I'm not making a complaint about the teacher I wanted to ask that my son went in the other teachers class!!

Are you saying that all the teachers will see my letter saying id be very grateful if my DS went into mrs x's class? Really??

Who is going to think of you as "that" parent?

The head, the deputes, the teaching staff, the TAs....anyone who finds out really.

If I were a teacher and I found out, I'd be hurt.

Butterfly, there is a choice there are two reception teachers, other parents have put the request in and it was granted so why can't i?

Just to add once more; I am not going to make a complaint!!!

Sorry it what is 'that' parent? Anyone care to enlighten me?

Once children are in the school they usually give you an opportunity to make a request, more around friendship groups than teachers, but you most certainly can't demand and they make it clear that the schools decision is final.

I don't think any of us blame you for not wanting your DS2 to be with a teacher who wasn't great for DS1. However the bottom line is that 30 kids will have to go with the less popular teacher, of course. And organising the classes will be a nightmare because they will also be looking at age, friendship groups, any SEN, etc. But no harm in asking politely to my mind.

If your DS1 is already in school I would be inclined to ask for a brief appointment with the Head rather than write. I would be ultra polite, make it very clear you accept they may not be able to say yes, and steer away from any negative comment about the jobshare at this point, or any of the issues your DS1 had with her. Concentrate on your DS being the best 'fit' with the more nurturing teacher. Is he in nursery there, it may help if they are already aware of his personality.

And don't expect an answer till the class lists come out in September!

Why ask if you are going to do it any way? The teacher is bound to find out and may be upset.

My children are in Y7 and Y5 and have both had some wonderful teachers. They have both had their share of not so wonderful teachers.

Go and see the head. Do not write the letter!

It's quite possible that the staff also think the teacher is too stern with the R children. Very possible indeed. I have been working in primary schools for donkeys years and I think a calm request in private to the HT would barely raise an eyebrow in a school large enough to have 2 form intake. Get off MN OP and go and make an appointment with the head.

It will make no difference at all. If there are two teachers at each stage it will always seem as if some people got their request but in reality, there was a 50% chance anyway! If you have a problem with the teacher then you need to talk through your concerns with them directly.

Jennifersrabbit that is very good advice thank you.

That's exactly what I was aiming to say that my DS would be a best fit in mrs x's class, I wouldn't even mention the other teacher as I am not making a complaint.

Butterfly I asked how I could word my letter, not should I do it, because yes, I am going to do it anyway. Unless the school is very unprofessional they will not be sharing my letter around the school, not sure what schools you are used to!!

Ok I'll make an appointment with the head.. Thanks all! X

They may even put your child with that teacher out of spite if you waste their time by being precious.
all kids at some stage have a teacher they don't warm to, they are there for so many years.
You can't ask for a particular teacher, that's ridiculous.
just when i think I've heard it all

I'd go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained and you won't automatically become 'that' parent unless you plan to constantly make demands. Which obviously you don't

I didn't for dc3 in similar circumstances to my eternal regret and he had a horrendous reception year.

I never stirred the pot unnecessarily but always bear in mind you are the only advocate your child will have in school.

I know loads of parents who have asked for a particular class for their child. Mostly as they didn't want siblings in consecutive years following each other but for other reasons as well.
I am considering the same for DC4 when he starts nursery in September. If I don't he will be in the same class as DS3 for a year and I'm not sure if that is the best thing for either of them.

I just want his first year and start to school life to be with a teacher that is compassionate. He will have just turned 4 and is very shy and sensitive so I am worried.

I totally appreciate there will be lots of teachers that I may not like, etc but for his first year I would like him to have someone more nurturing. I not being precious.

As mentioned , lots of other mums have done it and the school were fine about it, they are certainly not deemed as 'that' parent.

Thanks notso and tictatoed. I really appreciate that advice.

I have never complained to the school or made any demands in the past, and I am not doing that now, I just want to put a friendly request in and if that grant it fine and if they don't, so be it. But at least I tried.

Well I did choose the teachers my youngest dd had throughout Primary with the HT's blessing, in fact we chose them together. Dd has a statement of SEN and undoubtedly some teachers suit her better.
In fact dd thrived with the stern, strict, no nonsense teachers whereas the the spontaneous, fun teachers that everyone loved would have increased her anxiety no end. She also spent two years with each teacher instead of changing yearly because the school recognised that dd "lost" at least a term adjusting to a new teacher and so it was better to limit that as much as possible.
I would never have been so rude as to phrase my requests in a way that implied a teacher was poor though so I always spoke of what worked best for dd and the HT's knowledge of particular teachers' strengths and their methods ensured we got the best fit each time.
It wasn't something offered routinely and I never discussed it in the playground so other parents were unaware.
Unless your child has very specific needs that are documented by professionals then I really wouldn't write a letter to be honest.

They might not exactly pin the letter on the staffroom noticeboard (though I've known that happen too) but they will find out.

Seriously, the only way to come out of this not looking like the PFB mother from hell is to actually do what you really should be doing if this teacher is so bad, and actually complain about her, instead of being all PA about it. And there is no way your request could ever come across as friendly. (oh, and for the love of God don't try and pull the "I know my bubba best" thing, because then you really will be a laughing stock. Any HT worthy of the name will send you packing, because it would be the thin end of the wedge. You want Miss X, well, probably 99% of families do. There is a reason you don't get to choose to have Miss X.

Word to the wise though....pick your battles. Your kids are going to be in schools for the next, what? `14 years. Two classes. How many teachers and other sundry issues are going to crop up?

(I'm honestly not being vicariously nasty here. I complained about the supply teacher dd was given in nursery when she was 3. The woman was a bitch. She made the kids stand in the naughty corner and was known to smack fingers etc. I went in and played hell, so I do know when a situation needs intervention.)

All the primary schools I have experience of the reception teachers themselves choose the classes. They are the ones who do the visits at pre -school and in some cases the home visits. The Headteacher has nothing to do with it. If you go and see the Headteacher and they agree the likelihood is they will need to pass this onto the reception teachers.

I don't think being labelled as 'that' parent is a reason not to discuss worries with the head. The OP may not be able to choose her child's teacher, but if there are genuine concerns I don't see why they shouldn't be addressed.

(Although the concerns should be more specific than just 'not warming to' the teacher).

I'm a bit torn here.

On the one hand, I think that a letter would not go down too well - although if other parents in the school have had success with this approach, I may be wrong.

On the other hand, ds's reception teacher was awful and set up a lot of problems for the years to come. If I could go back in time, I think I would intervene more than I did.

I think in your position, I would go for the chat with the head option - keeping it very low key and not suggesting that one teacher is a bad teacher just that, from experience, you worry that they would not be a good fit for your child.

I know many will disagree but it could do your child good having a stricter teacher from an early age. He's got many years of education ahead of him and isn't going to come across nice teachers in every school year. My nephew had difficulties with a particular teacher but my own dd hasn't made a single complaint about her so your youngest may experience differently

For dc2 I emailed a short polite note, "please can dc2 be put in X's class, if you want to discuss the reason for my request I am more than happy to pop in at your convenience. Many thanks!"

Dc2 was put in the requested class, nothing was said about it, no meeting required. I have never made any other requests and am extremely polite and cheery to the teachers about any issues with the dc. I am not THAT parent for making this request, THAT parent is known by all the other parents as well and no one knows I asked cos I didn't make a big deal about it!

I approached the head after three of mine had the same teacher and had some good reasons for asking. It was fine - I had some examples and I was very polite about the teacher. It was more than just a personality thing though.