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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

To write letter to request DS has a particular teacher when he starts reception in September

325 replies

BingBong36 · 05/05/2015 09:46

I have another son that is in year 1 now and I really disliked his reception teacher for various reasons (so did he). She has a very stern approach, there is a job share and at parents evening they totally spoke over each other etc and I just didn't warm to her. My youngest son is very sensitive summer boy and I really love the other reception teacher and feel he is best in her class.

I am going to write to the school to request this but how do I word it?

Thanks

OP posts:

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soapboxqueen · 05/05/2015 16:38

Yes. It's all us silly teachers getting defensive about people randomly calling our professionalism into disrepute. Which is exactly what you are doing whether you believe it or not. Any head teacher who would allow that isn't worth their salt and I certainly wouldn't want my child in a school where the head teacher had so little respect for the professionals educating them.

If you had legitimate concerns for your first child you should have made a complaint then.

cassgate · 05/05/2015 16:39

Teachers regularly move year groups at our school so it could be the same at yours and the teacher won't be in reception next year anyway. My dd had the same teacher for yr 3 and 4 and my ds also had the same teachers for yr 3 and 4 not the same one though as it was a few years apart. Last years reception teacher at our school followed her class up into year 1. Agree that unless you have very specific reasons like Sen then I would avoid writing a letter as you will certainly set yourself up as being seen as one of those parents.

mrz · 05/05/2015 16:43

If you send a letter and your son gets the teacher you want that opens the flood gates for other parents to demand they are given their preferences too. If you don't get your choice you are going to feel the head has deliberately rejected your views.

You can't win with the situation ...

mrz · 05/05/2015 16:56

I don't think any head would put your child in the other class out of spite but they might do it so they can't be accused of favouritism.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 05/05/2015 16:57

If your son has particular needs you want to be taken into account, address that with the allocated teacher. If the teacher is not someone you can justify complaining about, merely that you have a preference for the other one, then you take what they decide. You can't have it both ways.

If all parents did this, there would be mayhem. Fairness is a cornerstone of state education (at least that's the idea). Why should you/your child have special treatment?

zipzap · 05/05/2015 16:59

I don't think YABU at all to ask them to put your ds into the class with the teacher that will fit him best - although as you're already known to the HT and within the school, having a quiet word with the HT does seem the best way to approach it.

I did exactly the same for ds2 when he started in YR - ds1 had had a fantastic YR teacher and an awful Y1 teacher - I discovered that the Y1 teacher had moved to become head of YR so put in a request that he was with the fantastic YR teacher that ds1 had had as I thought that she would also be a great fit for ds2. There were lots of people that agreed with me and did similarly for their dc - 2/3 of the dc in the class were younger siblings, and many had had siblings in different YR classes but who recognised what an excellent teacher this particular teacher was and requested her.

When it came for Y1 class allocations, I happened to discover that the awful teacher was moving up to Y1 again and I knew she would be a really bad teacher for ds2, even worse than for ds1. I had been very close to putting in a formal complaint about the teacher and the thought of having her as a teacher for ds2 also really had me worried - to the point that I would have tried to have moved him to a different school if I hadn't been able to get him moved. I happened to be having a quick chat checking on something with ds2's TA and she said they were about to have the meeting to allocate the classes. So I very tactfully said was there any way that ds could be steered into a class that wasn't with the awful teacher and gave her some examples of the problems that I had had when ds1 was with her, and why I thought ds2 would have a problem. She had a real soft spot for ds2, off the record agreed with me completely, and said she would see what she would do... Luckily she was able to work her magic and ds2 didn't end up in the awful teacher's class - but if he had done, I'd have gone to the head and asked for him to be changed into a different class at the earliest opportunity.

Original poster

BingBong36 · 05/05/2015 17:01

My child would not be having special treatment, some people want their children to go in to the other teachwr's class because she is a lot stricter. I honestly believe my son would not be happy having such a strict teacher at such a young age. I am not being precious, just concerned.

OP posts:

SuburbanRhonda · 05/05/2015 17:03

OP, you have clearly already decided you are going to try to get what you want, either by letter or through a meeting with the HT, so it's pointless trying to persuade you to leave it.

In the meantime, therefore, I would strongly recommend you work on building your DS's resilience. It is the single most important skill he will ever learn if he is to get anything out of school at all.

The book I use with children like your DS is a bit old for him, but look in Amazon for "Stick up for Yourself" and see if they have any recommendations for younger children.

Original poster

BingBong36 · 05/05/2015 17:07

If the teacher or head were fine about several of my friends asking, why would they be funny with me?

Yes I will definately be asking because I will only kick myself when my son goes in to school unhappy every day like my other son did.

If they say no then so be it. I won't be creating a fuss.

OP posts:

LuisSuarezTeeth · 05/05/2015 17:09

Requesting the teacher you want as opposed to the one allocated IS special treatment. Otherwise the school would ask everyone which teacher they want!

Chocolatepennyfalls · 05/05/2015 17:09

I can understand your thoughts OP. However, would probably cross my fingers and hope. I would save my meetings/emails for any real issues

Redlocks28 · 05/05/2015 17:10

You just can't see the picture picture, can you?!

PeppermintPasty · 05/05/2015 17:14

Well, I'm sorry op but you are most definitely being precious. What a lot of nonsense, and I echo the poster who said no headteacher worth their salt would allow this. If this was revealed as a wind up I wouldn't be surprised. And I'm not a teacher by the way.

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2015 17:14

Blimey. Good luck with that. Talk about starting off on the wrong foot.

High School could be interesting.....

Floggingmolly · 05/05/2015 17:15

Whatever your concerns about the job share; the HT obviously considers it a perfectly valid choice.

Why would she accept that it's not appropriate for your little snowflake; while maintaining that it's perfectly fine for the other 29 members of the class?

Original poster

BingBong36 · 05/05/2015 17:16

Redlocks, please tell me why a few of my friends did this and the school were fine about but if I do it it's any different?

OP posts:

Redlocks28 · 05/05/2015 17:18

Can you look past the end of your nose for a minute and imagine what would happen if everyone did this?

Original poster

BingBong36 · 05/05/2015 17:18

To add it's an Outstanding school the head teacher is lovely.

No I am not being precious, I don't want to sit through another parents evening listening to to teachers contradict each other and getting my son's name wrong etc. Surely I have every right to be concerned.

OP posts:

Original poster

BingBong36 · 05/05/2015 17:18

But not everyone is doing it redlocks?

OP posts:

TheRealMaryMillington · 05/05/2015 17:20

Get Real

You ARE being Precious

misssmapp · 05/05/2015 17:21

as a deputy head, I think a chat with the head is better than a letter as you can talk about 'best fit'.

However, teachers do move year groups and these decisions are not normally made until after may half term when all resignation notices have to be given in. Last year , at this time, a parent came to ask if her ds could be in my class, but come sept, I wasn't even teaching in that year group anymore.

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2015 17:22

I am sure they will remember your son just fine if you send the letter.

Original poster

BingBong36 · 05/05/2015 17:23

Thanks missmap that is very helpful advice.

OP posts:

TheRealMaryMillington · 05/05/2015 17:24

It doesn't matter whether you like the teacher or not. It's their relationship with the children that matters. Their managers are a better judge of that than you as a parent.

Jobshares can be difficult in primary schools. I know this is an unpopular position. But I think if you don't want the teacher assigned, you need to find a different school.

soverylucky · 05/05/2015 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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