Is it normal for 'challenging' children to receive rewards when they are just doing what is normal and expected behaviour of the rest of the class?

[SafeAsHouses]

Hope my question doesnt offend anyone....but it just seems to be happening alot recently in my sons class, and its tricky trying to explain to him why the kids that are disruptive and muck around in class (as per my DS, I know not everything kids say is strictly true!), seem to run out of school each week with stickers / rewards / child of the day etc, because they managed to do something that is expected of the rest of the class 100% of the time.

Surely there is a better, more fairer way to reward?

Martorana
No, the ipod was actually for half a term
the trip to bowling/ shopping was per week
and it was not cancelled even when he swore at a teacher because the deal was physical violence.

The school in question contains pupils who while bored one lunchtime (in uniform) went and kicked in the front doors of a couple of local houses - but it was not in school so did not impact on their rewards system.

Almost everybody else on this threads appears to be talking about Primary.
Once you start the "rewards" system you have to carry on ..... even when they are taller than the teachers.

And these are not SEN kids, they are just neglected and disenfranchised.

I don't think it's fair to expect other children to "teach" or be held back because of other disruptive children.

Who decides which children are disruptive though?

The one's with SEN's, or the children with difficult home lives, the children with English as an additional language.

Or what about the child who has parents who have just split up and is temporarily acting up while this life changing event is being processed?

That'd be nice - where does your DC sit? On the foreign table, the stupid table, the broken family table, the naughty table or the good table??

(not SEN, just chav by the way)

Blimey, this thread is full of paediatricians......... weird.

I don't think my dcs gave a hoot who received a sticker. I think kids work out pretty quickly that "naughty" or less able children need a few more carrots than other members of the class. Very little ones do mutter "it's not fair" at first but soon appreciate that it really doesn't matter very much.

What is pointless - and the dcs have said so - is making sure everyone is even. They know that everyone is going to be Star of the Week at some point. And reward charts - funnily enough everyone ends up with the same number at the end of the year. Totally devalues the point of it all.

My DS gets disheartened at never winning awards. He tries so hard, is dependable, a joy to have in class, etc... But he never wins stuff. Same at cubs and football lessons too. I just don't think he is loud enough to be noticed.

My heart breaks for him.

DD on the other hand does all the above but has some sort of inbuilt PR system so everyone knows she has done XYZ and she does get awards/noticed.

It isn't fair :(

'so I make sure I reward my kids with a loving home and personalised treats that the oik kids will never get'

Is it not possible for children with SEN to have a loving home and personalised treats?

"
"No, the ipod was actually for half a term
the trip to bowling/ shopping was per week
and it was not cancelled even when he swore at a teacher because the deal was physical violence."

Great paper, the Daily Mail, eh?

My two youngest have autism , their father is out of work but they have attention and a very loving home

Ah forget it. Just tell your kid that the children who get stickers do so because their mummies just don't love them so they get stickers from the teachers instead.........

I remember fondly the days when all I had to worry about was if ds got a sticker that day!

I am also wondering if those complaining about the rewards are also the same as those who would complain if the disruptive behaviour affects the learning opportunities of their loved ones.

Teachers reward good behaviour from disruptive kids because it works far more effectively than sanctions. It's not rocket science.

rara
I am not talking about SEN kids - unless you treat dysfunctional unemployed families as a form of SEN

all those who wring their hands at my descriptions of chavs, yobs and oiks,
clearly do not live in the catchment of one of the crappest schools in the country, between two dispersal zones and where the police station is in the supermarket
5.30 on a friday evening - when they are all roaming the streets is not pleasant

and rewarding them for the minimum of acceptable behaviour has just made them arrogant and lazier

I hate the reward system anyway and do not believe it works
If a child can't sit because they find a classroom overstimulating/they have a need to move constantly/they do not understand social rules and boundaries/any other
then a sticker is not going to change that.

I work in a secondary school for boys with social, emotional and behavioural difficulties. We has this problem (student a doesn't punch anyone gets reward but crippingly shy student b doesn't get anything for answering a question in class) so we brought in a monitoring system. Every student gets a score out of 5 for each lesson (right place right time, respectful, attempting work, enjoy and achieve and something else). Students with a score above 70 (max score is 100) get a reward.

But we have 4-7 students per class so it is easier.

I agree with whoever up-thread said that most children are more empathetic, and they do understand; also that their class is a "community" and everyone is different but plays a part.

My averagely intelligent, averagely hard working, fairly well-behaved DD is 7 and she knows full well that the child on her table who has ASD finds it really hard to sit still and concentrate. She knows this girl will get rewards for things that she's already done or is doing. She actually likes it when others get certificates or called up in assembly. She's not the only one, or anything special. Most kids do understand this; maybe it's more of a worry to parents.

'its all about the minorities, whilst the 'majorities' are completely forgotten about.'

If minorities have it so good, there are ways of being a part of them.

The 'majority' do not have to hold things together in school under incredibly stressful conditions for them putting them at risk of severe mental strain and later mental health issues. This is accommodated (badly imo but the intention is there) whilst it isn't done for the majority.

Poor majority eh? Not having their special or additional needs THAT THEY DON'T HAVE, accommodated.

I'm certain if one chose to see things this way, it is unfair that a wheelchair user gets to sit down all day and skip cross country running.......

havent read full thread yet but just replying to OP. this really pisses me off about my daughters class. she has had a certificate reward once where as the little shits more challenging children are constantly rewarded with certificates and stickers. my child is just normal and they dont seem to make a fuss or reward her good behaviour and she has even asked me why she never gets "star of the week" yet so and so hits/is naughty and gets it? I am at a loss sometimes what to say to her. I think that there shouldnt actually be rewards like this at all.

'I am not talking about SEN kids - unless you treat dysfunctional unemployed families as a form of SEN'

How do you KNOW which families have children with SEN and which do not?

YOu do realise that the majority of families that have children with SEN have broken relationships, given up their careers and financial security, live in poverty, have consequential mental health problems, face isolation, bullying and victimisation right?

You do realise too that often the SEN runs in families and on top of the above the parents of these children struggle with many things the majority would not right?

I suppose it's a step on from worrying about whether little Jocasta is on the right reading level or not.......

Explain to your child that some children find things very difficult- and that your child is lucky that he doesn't. But he knows that already- because children don't fret about this sort of stuff because they understand. It's only parents who don't.

Jelly not sure whether to be or that you refer to children as little shits.

Well martorana, my child doesn't yet, and nor do many other children judging by this thread. Perhaps we're all just crap parents.

Even if they are from 'dysfunctional unemployed families" why would you grudge them a reward to improve their behaviour if they arent getting the dame home advantages.

Unless you were a total snob who was unable to feel any compassion for even a child with a disadvantaged background.

'But its ok for parents with kids with disabilities to want more / better / best for their kids.'

I think you need to educate yourself. Parents of children with disabilities give up wanting more, better and best for their kids within a year of diagnosis and instead spend every waking moment hoping for 'not bullied', 'safe', 'understood if just slightly'.

And fighting tooth and nail for just that.