Is it normal for 'challenging' children to receive rewards when they are just doing what is normal and expected behaviour of the rest of the class?

[SafeAsHouses]

Hope my question doesnt offend anyone....but it just seems to be happening alot recently in my sons class, and its tricky trying to explain to him why the kids that are disruptive and muck around in class (as per my DS, I know not everything kids say is strictly true!), seem to run out of school each week with stickers / rewards / child of the day etc, because they managed to do something that is expected of the rest of the class 100% of the time.

Surely there is a better, more fairer way to reward?

Maybe the children were just badly behaved - I don't think anyone would begrudge a child with SEN getting a reward

Ditch the bloody sticker charts.

I can still feel the injustice of not getting stickers even though I had really tried.

Rewards systems like charts are lazy IMO. It would be better if teachers targetted pupils as individuals and encouraged them instead of slapping a gold star on the wall. For example I remember one teacher writing a lovely note on a piece of homework that I did. Takes a bit more effort but more effective.

DS was (& can be) very badly behaved.
Extrinsic tangible rewards work miracles with him (house points, food, stickers, golden time, toys, etc).

If you want to assume he
A) has terrible parents who made him into a brat;
B) just needs the right diagnosis;
C) has incapable teachers/school support who don't squash his free spirit;
then fine, I couldn't care less which combination you choose.
All are irrelevant perspectives.

I really would pity his teachers if they didn't feel they had the option of extrinsic rewards. That's the real world.

aw nuts, delete the squash in last post.
I should learn better than to try to write pithy replies.

Notonaschoolnight - brief, as I have a boy sitting on one hand, but a good starting point would be reading about sensory processing, as this is a big issue for a lot of kids with ASD (especially the fidgety or jumpy ones)

I think it would be better to find a reward system which acknowledges the achievements of every child who does well in something that is difficult for them, whether they have additional needs or not. A system that treats people as the individuals they are.

My child is bright, NT etc, but I'm pleased to say that that she is rewarded when her effort to over come her personal challenges are recognised. They are different challenges from some of the other children and she understands this.

Any system which appears to reward the minimum is a system which hasn't been explained or implemented properly. Yes, for some children this should be recognised and rewarded. As should the struggles and achievements of everyone.

whatafeline I totally agree with you.

I have all flavours of children and none of them has benefitted from this kind of rewards system at all. At its worse it can really destroy a child, not because of the lack of awards in itself, but because of the ethos that underpins it, which is manifested day in day out in many shape and forms.

Ouryve than you will have a look now

I have tear off notes to send home if they've done great work, which I attach to a photocopy of their work. I give out raffle tickets for good work, and they go into a jar to win sweets at the end of half term. I dole out prizes for writing, maths, and behaviour every week. I set them targets in their books every Friday for Monday. I have masses and masses of stickers.

But people still moan, because no teacher will ever make every parent happy.

I think missinglalaland speaks a lot of sense on this.

I also applaud the sense in WhatAFeline says above too.

I think the both the EFFORT and the achievements of all children should be recognised. Those bars will be set at different levels for different children (as they are in life, which is what school is trying to prepare children for, after all) and this should be openly acknowledged. eg Jane has tried very hard to achieve level 4 in swimming. John to whom swimming comes more easily, has tried very hard and achieved level 8. Both children have tried hard, and achieved different things and the effort of both should be acknowledged. Zoe finds it hard to sit on the carpet calmly at circle time, if she achieves it she deserves a reward certificate, Stephen doesn't find it 'hard' but also deserves a reward for the same behaviour.

GossamerHailfilter Wed 26-Mar-14 13:53:36
My son gets 30 minutes of 'golden time' at the end of the day if he has managed to keep calm and do his differentiated work.

Could I give 2 hoots that little Jimmy doesn't get the same rewards? Nope, not in the slightest.

Little Jimmy doesn't have to battle with sensory issues which mean that the classroom is too noisy, the lights are too bright etc.

This is what my dn battles with on a daily basis. Please support these children/parents who have this to live with every day. It's no walk in the park. And for every challenge they over come, then yes they will be rewarded. Have you any idea how much these little things mean to a SN family??

However, one of the other variables, in practice, is the ability of the child to wait for a reward.

One system in place for a child involves dividing the day into 10 minute chunks. In each 10 minute slot, there is the possibility of a tick or a 'not tick'. Initially, keeping the child's behaviour on track needed the constant reinforcement of a tiny reward per tick (oddly, a Lego brick-based scheme operates, similar to the one above but wholly school based). Over time, that has evolved to a reward per 6 ticks (1 lesson), and then to a reward for a whole morning / afternoon with a decreasing target of non-ticks.

Whereas 'normal' school rewards are based on a c. 1 per term recognition through certificates for something exceptional.

We make the 'currencies' different, because the ability to respond to delayed gratification is different between children.

Sorry, forgot the last sentence:

Managing a 'per 10 minute' reward system for EVERY child would be ridiculous, while rewarding 'appropriate behaviour' for this particular child with a once termly or even once weekly certificate would have no meaning for them and no effect on their behaviour.

So, it strikes me that maybe the problem with the reward system isn't the children - but, that the PARENTS that don't understand.

if the schools had the resources and time to help up all undersatand the issues that some kids have to deal with, well, that might help.

But, they don't.

I am aghast at some of the attitudes towards on this thread. My children, aged 7 and 5, are well behaved, so are not overly rewarded for behavior unlike the boy who comes from a disrupted home and the boy who has autism. Both of my children understand that whilst these children can be disruptive and annoying, they have different needs and tougher lives. My children gain their reward by being accepted with smiles by their teachers and classmates and I hope they are learning that other children have different needs.

Maybe the issue then, is not that the children are being rewarded, but are being rewarded too publicly? I'm not sure if my boys are just generally unobservant (DS1 and 2 have ASD so quite possibly, although DS3 doesn't) but they have no idea who else gets tickets in their classes (see earlier post about tickets given out for trying hard, being caring etc) but they are very proud when they get them themselves. I'm very proud now when at home if they see one of their siblings doing something then they sometimes go to their little stashes of tickets and give them on to them.

When DS1 was in year 4 he had his own sticker chart - he was still unable to walk into school without having a panic attack, so his teacher gave him the job of walking in and moving a sticker onto a chart to give him a routine of walking in. It wasn't a reward in the sense that it is being used on this thread, it could have easily been moving a plant pot from one end of the windowsill to the other, it was the need for a specific thing that he could do to get him into school. I don't think anyone else knew he even had the chart, at least if they did I hope it wasn't raising vitriol in the other pupils or parents :(.

So do my boys walkingtheplank :)
These threads make you think, is that because their sister is disabled? But it can't be because my friends children dint moan about it either

Well one of my children has a chronic disease with issues which means he struggles a lot mire than the others academically and also in sport. He still doesn't get any rewards, because he is well behaved. Most of the children who misbehave in his class are nt children so in comparison my son has hundreds more issues to contend with.

Thank you for the kind words upthread about my lovely little guy. He sometimes tells me how he has tried to help his friend "not be silly" (as ds puts it) - it's very sweet (in my totally unbiased opinion ).

I wonder if some of it is to do with general school culture?

My children's schools seem to be very inclusive to me and as a result, my children are very accepting of the fact that everyone has different challenges and that some of their friends are more challenged than them. Obviously this is what we would encourage anyway but tbh we haven't had to explain it. They just seem to get it.

It's also a tight knit community here so maybe the fact everyone knows each other really well makes a difference too?

It is interesting.

I have had conversations with parents over the years about the fact that their children 'don't get rewards' - and the reasons they have advanced is because theuir children are middle ability, because they are high ability, because they are well-behaved, because they are not well-behaved, because they are quiet, because they are loud ... and in all cases I have produced my records to show that, in fact, all children get, roughly, the same number of rewards [a very few do get more, for example if a child produces something so exceptional for them that the only appropriate response is to send them down to the head with their books / art work / whatever, and a big beaming smile, to get a special sticker and hearty congratulations].

Again, as I have said, a few children have a totally separate currency of rewards to as part of an individualised behavior management plan - but in general these have never been mentioned. It is the perception, unmatched by any records, that some children 'don't get rewards' and 'others get lots' that tends to be brought up.

My DS is y6.

He gets the occasional reward and note home (for specific pieces of work). I have no idea, nor care, who else gets what.

His school don't reward based on behaviour - the class agrees their behaviour code at the start of each term, they all have input and there are sanctions for kids who do not adhere to it.

All the children know who needs extra help or who finds being in a classroom situation difficult. They are generally empathetic and mostly kind.

Perhaps the adults (OP) could learn a thing or two from them.

Explain to your son that he is very, very lucky, oh and that virtue is its own reward!

All kids have their own mountains to climb.

Sorry I don't think any are more deserving of praise or motivation.

I disagree. My daughter and sons at the same school with same teachers had massively different amounts of rewards. Dd1's communication book full of stickers and team points as well as all sorts of certificates and rewards. One of my sons was completely ignored, we didn't have a single comment or sticker or award all year with the same teacher. And it did have a huge impact on his confidence.

Sovery we're going through exactly the same.I actually think it has a detrimental effect on those who get nothing.

I don't think it is that good for those continuously getting the rewards either.