Should school have contacted DS's sports coach about an incident that took place at school?

[ptangyangkipperbang]

DS aged 8 got into a fight at school. It was over with in a few mins, the boys made up and they missed a playtime and had to write about the incident at lunchtime. I thought it had all been dealt with and supported the school by talking to DS about making the right choices, etc, etc.

A week later the boys went to judo and were called over by the coach who talked to them about their behaviour as one of them had mentioned a judo throw had been used when they were fighting.

It turns out that without asking permission from parents the school had contacted the judo coach to ask him to 'tell them off'. The school have a relationship with the coach because he'd run an after school club there in the past so he'd been put in a difficult position.

1. Can the school contact an outside body without a parents permission? (Excluding child protection)

1. Can the school 'sub-contract' discipline?

1. Have the school over reacted?

1. AIBU to be really cross?!

Any comments gratefully received as I'm a bit open mouthed about it all.

your DP is deluded if he thinks that disclosing information to a third party is okay, HTH

(OMG at him being a HT too, bloody hell)

I tell you what, when all the children in his school are safe and fed and cared for, in homes with no DV, he will deal with such pissy issues as this.

until then, really it would be a terrible use of the schools limited resources on this ^.

he has turned around one failing school so far and is now making good progress on number 2.

but I sure your record of bringing meaningful improvement to the lives of children is greater than his...................................................

he did all that by contacting sports coaches and asking them to sort things out for him?

what a silly thing to say.

YANBU - school should not be discussing incident in school with a 3rd party.

Am also how many people are saying OP is avoiding disapplining her son. He' 8yo FFS, made a serious mistake, was punished and it would seem it worked as no more incidents. Why should he be punished again?

Perhaps it was a parent told the judo instructor and he just said 'the school' to protect their identity.
It does get me annoyed when people get so pissy about coprrect protocol rather than addressing the problem of their child's behaviour

I too would be concerned about FasterStronger's DP's response to this issue. 'parents are welcome to move their DCs to another school.' Christ is that his reponse when parents have a problem with his school?

OP's school did wrong, as I said earlier. Confidentiality rules are there for a reason - as for FS's DP's reply of it not being data so not requiring confidentiality I am and to say the least.

really FS ...no more silly than your statement

xylem8 the OP has stated that her son was punished both by the school and at home (isn't that addressing the problem?) and that the school had contacted the coach not a parent

I believe the op has addressed her child's behaviour, and supported the school in the punishment given at the time,as winning just said, the child is 8, he made a mistake, he was punished and he understood what he had done wrong, incident happened, was dealt with and finished with.
Maybe this is only a minor incident, but where would this school draw the line when it comes to confidentiality ?

Leonard, if the school and parents cannot agree over a period of time, that is an option worth considering.

it is not a regular school regulars and he and the governers have more autonomy.

and it's a really easy way to turn around a failing school ... get rid of the problems

mrz - if it was that easy there wouldn't be any failing schools

Think about it ivykaty ... a head encourages his/her "problems" to move ... where do they go ?

perhaps to the school your child attends

so it is the pupils that are failing then not the schools?

Imagine you have a high number of children who you know won't achieve national expectations ... encourage them to move ... achieve good SAT results ...everyone says well done you've turned the school around

Wow this still rages on even though the OP left days ago.

and no it is never the child's fault

mrz - he does not suggest the move because of the behaviour of the children - but because of behaviour of the parents.

strangely enough someone who turns around failing schools actually cares about the pupils.....otherwise what would be the point?

the problem with this thread, is not the boys fighting, but the op being embarrassed by the son so looking for a distraction.

and the parents behaviour improves for the next school or does the problem persist?

I don't think the OP is embarrassed just surprised that a school would contact a third party about something that occurred in school.

the school is not responsible for the parents behaviour. the parent is.

may be a fresh start will help them.

a small number of PITA parents take up a lot of the schools resources that could be better spent on the children.

FS does your dh know you're speaking for him ?

If he really holds the views you've posted, I hope my dc doesn't go to any school he's involved with

summer - I am not 'speaking for him' but I am repeating what he has said in the past generally and on this topic specifically.

I don't think most MNers have experience of the type of schools he works in as the issues they find important seem really trivial.

e tells me about a 3 yo who are so hungry they hide food, can only communicate by swearing etc. reception children acting out drug deals.

yes lets get someone sacked for talking to the judo coach to try to stop someone getting injured.... or may be we just get a grip. (that last paragraph is mine)

It does sound like your dp's school are a special case yes FasterStronger. However you are not furthering your or his cause by discussing it on here. Crikey. By him discussing these matters with you, and then you feeling free to blab these matters in such a gossipy way on such a public forum just goes to further prove your and his attitude to this issue. I find this shocking. Many posters on here have emphasised is the major issue they are concerned about - The breach of confidentiality