Child told she was "not allowed" to go to the toilet.

[Offred]

Because of SATs, when they were doing IT, she wasn't doing SATs, she is 6. They didn't want the SATs to be disturbed by traipsing children.

DD took it literally and wee'd herself. The class laughed at her. They did not call me, put her in her PE kit with no tights/socks even though we cycle and they know this and it poured with rain/hail today. Then the TA hassled me about the importance of returning the knickers to reception tomorrow morning. I gave them short shrift as my focus was more DD's feelings, called for the teacher. The teacher said DD should have known she could ask.

That is all they plan to do about it.

What do I do?

Dd is fine but I think she should be more upset and being resigned to such a lack of empathy is a bad sign.

I am quite upset.

"'children are not normally allowed to go to the toilet'" does the normally not tell you that they are allowed to go if necessary teacherwith?

Yes they did tell her she couldn't go, three of them separately said that the tech had told the class they weren't allowed to go.

I felt them not calling me and asking me to bring something was them punishing dd for the accident because there is no reason why they couldn't have done that when there were two TAs, one teacher, one tech and two receptionists who could have called and dd's class is small (20). Her clothes would have been fine if they didn't change them and I know this because I have cycled with her in these circs before.

If you don't know about other arrangements why judgy pants with the "you don't have to cycle".

What I am learning from this thread is that actually a lot of teachers are really, really petty.

She would be cycling whoever picked her up. Just not with me.

I am bothered by their attitude to the whole thing not what happened. I do think they could have called to ask me to bring trousers. Track suit bottoms are not allowed in the PE kit. They allow track suit bottoms in winter terms for walking to school but not in summer because of cloakroom space and not in the pe kit.

I haven't ever wittered about her wetting herself. I asked them to explain their side of what happened. They explained. They have dd a stern warning about how she "should have asked". I am not satisfied with that as a response for the reasons I have detailed previously.

You are so hung up on the fact that 'there were two TAs, one teacher, one tech and two receptionists who could have called' but actually, assuming the weather changed at around 2pm, one assumes that:
The teacher, and both TAs were in class, educating children
The receptionists probably weren't aware of the situation
It really isn't the tech's job to phone parents about wet knickers

Out of interest, is it a state school or a private school? I only wonder because of the staffing... If a state school, then it's likely at least one of the TAs is for a statemented child, as most state schools don't have 2 full-time TAs in a primary classroom. Also the 2 receptionists probably are not just full-time receptionists. We had one part time receptionist and one who split her time between receptionist and bursar. We also didn't have a full time IT tech. And we had 90 children per year group, not 20.

So they explained and then told her how to avoid the problem in future?

Actually I don't think it is the teachers who come across as petty.

You seem determined to see insults - both by the school and by posters - where none are intended.

You are the one throwing rather immature comments like 'judgy pants' around at people who have done nothing that offer a different perspective on events, and disagree with your somewhat emotional interpretation of everything.

I do feel very sorry for your DD. She needs to make sure she goes to the loo before school and at breaktimes. To actually wet herself she must have been holding on for a long time. The reality is if 30 children were going to the loo willy nilly all lesson not much work would get done. Loads of children ask to go to the loo because they don't want to do maths / spellings tests/ because their friend has just gone etc. The lesson is only an hour and 15 minutes long so if she's just been to the loo she should be able to wait for next break.

She is not the only one to have done this and won't be the last. I hope she's okay. I assume she's year 1 or 2 and I think the children will forget all about it by tomorrow.

It is a state school but voluntary aided.

People keep wilfully misreading. I am not expecting them to call me and tell me about dd having an accident, I am expecting them to call because they needed me to bring something from home. They would have managed it if dd had not brought her lunchbox or her glasses or something else necessary.

People keep attributing things to me that I have not said or done and did not think. People seen intent on changing the situation to suit their judgements. Like I said yesterday it is a good job I am not particularly sensitive. I won't apologise for coming across emotional because yesterday I was as this had been the last in a long line of things with the school and dd. Not sure why having feelings (me or dd) should personally affront teachers but it seems to be a theme.

You could suggest the Next school newsletter asks for some old outgrown clothes/uniform sent in from parents to use for spares. Or schools have always done that so there's always a good selection of different sizes etc. sometimes they specifically ask for swimming costumes/tights/pants so they have what they need.

I don't think you are being over sensitive at all. My Ds was told in yr one to wait to go to the toilet so I went in and explained/told his teacher that schools are not allowed to refuse/restrict children toilet access. I diverted her to the Eric.org site which has some great info for parents and schools, in particular about the side effects of withholding facilities from children. Might be worth a look....

And yes, they could have easily have called you and asked you to pop some clean clothes in.

If only she'd had her judgy pants with her, she'd have been much warmer....

ha ha ha! Indeed!

thanks for that loopy. I will have a look and those are good suggestions.