Inner city primary - 'difficult' intake. WWYD?

[Shambolicaholic]

We'll be applying for primary for DC1 next time around and so are starting to seriously think about it all and planning some school visits. We have a state primary rated as 'good' by OFSTED almost at the end of the road. Common sense has always told us that this should be the right place to send our kids - they can walk there, it's on our way to/from work, everyone else there will be v v local etc etc. We don't want to go private, as we think its really important to support the state system and couldn't really afford to do so anyway, even if we wanted to (not to mention that we'd have had to put DC's name down for the local private schools pre-birth...!). Although, if we didn't holiday/buy any luxuries/eat anything other than baked beans then just maybe we could.....

We had a look around the local primary last September and liked it. The children who took us round were lovely and it seemed like a nice place - although tbh we don't really know what we're looking for. Its results are ok - not stellar, not terrible, but ok. It has 40% free school meals and 40% who don't have English as a first language. The issue that concerns most of our neighbours (who've all got their small children registered for local private schools and think we're a bit odd not doing the same) is that a big big big chunk of the intake is from a very rough housing estate nearby. When I say rough, I mean rough. 2 murders on the streets in the past 6 months, should give you the idea. Now, I know that many/most of the kids/families related to the school are not, themselves, rough - we are involved in the local community and many local families are recent immigrants who are desperate for their kids to have a good education. However, it is reasonable to assume that a significant minority of the kids in each class will have tough/chaotic homelife and parents who couldn't care less about their children's education (unauthorised absences are also relatively high). DC1 is bright, articulate and although its early to say, I think he'll be reading a bit when he gets to school. He's been at a great nursery since he was 6 months, has good social skills and loves to learn. I have no doubt that there'll be others at the primary school who are as good and better than him, regardless of their background, however I also know for sure that many children arrive at the school with little English and having had no experience of pre-school or education before that point.

There are a couple of outstanding primaries nearby - our next nearest schools - but we do not have a hope in hell of getting our DCs into those as the catchments are miniscule. Only other local options are faith, and we don't do religion. So, our options are 1) this school 2) kill ourselves financially to do independent, but I'm not sure we'd get a place anywhere even if we could find the money for 2 DCs, 3) move house out of London which we are dead set against. My definite preference is 1 but I'm worried that we're going for the easiest option for us and not the best option for the DCs. This is not a school with a chunk of middle class parents sticking by it and I'm - very frankly - a bit worried that our DCs might stick out a bit and suffer socially as a result. I so want it to work out, but don't want to look back in 10 years and have big regrets.

I am really interested to know what you'd do in this situation and I'm especially interested to hear any experiences from people who have their children at similar sounding schools. How has it been and is there anything I should be looking out for / asking about?

Not at all an odd thing to say, the OP mentions it as a remote option in her first post, so it is something she has clearly considered at some point. Many posters have taken the hump somewhat at some state schools in rough areas being seen as not quite good enough (the one the OP has doubts about).

Perhaps you would be happier if I said a "middle class area school vs working class area school". But I don't think so, and they are not words I tend to use anyway.

We have clashed many times in the past seeker, re-read my post and I think it comes across as fairly balanced about "rough schools" - I have worked in one for nearly 8 years now as the Child Protection Professional, so I do actually have relevant experience of this and how areas of deprivation and poor parenting can adversely affect a childs chances. Can, not do, (and certainly the fact that several children who have been through my school have ended up in Cambridge and Durham at University, shows that any clever child, with a decent work ethic and decent family, has the potential do well anywhere).

Also OP, the few "middle class" (I hate that description) children we have, tend to stick together and get voted Prefects, Heads of Year, Sports Captains etc, so the other kids tend to look up to them, rather than isolate or bully them if that is any kind of reassurance.

So nice for the working class children to have middle class children to look up to......You are joking, I presume!

I think you have taken diabolo the wrong way, seeker. I believe she was trying to be reassuring in that you often hear in the media about high achieving and successful pupils being bullied. She was sharing her experience that, in her school, this simply wasn't the case. DS went to a similar sort of secondary and did gravitate to a small clique of more middle-class boys. Also a very high achieving pupil, sadly not DS, far from being bullied, tended to be treated as some sort of minor celebrity.

Tildas, I'm sorry for the experience you had but if you are going to use phrases like "nice middle class school" you have to expect to get called on it, esp as you made a point of mentioning your job.

Op it's really hard to get a balanced view from so many different people as we all come from different experiences but all want the best for our DCs
I would ask you to just trust your instincts and if you like the school, the teachers and the pupils then give it a go. It doesn't make you a bad parent to send your dc to a school that is not "nice, middle class"
My DCs have all been through state primary in north London, we had some behaviour issues as is true with all schools, we have kids who do not speak very much English ( I won't use the term refugees as that is not the case) and we have amazingly bright children.
There are kids from many countries and religions and what the school is not perfect, it's a lovely warm friendly school however the school 5 mins ago has the same diversity of pupils and I would never send my DCs there. It is not a nice school at all.
You can't judge a school just by the area or intake, it's the teachers, head, parents, TAs etc. if you get a good feel for the school then I hope your dc us very happy there.

Thanks again for all the responses. This has been so useful.

One thing I'm still a bit unsure of and maybe you can help, is how much digging around can a prospective parent do at a primary school - what's acceptable and what's plain weird? We've already looked around once - when DC1 was only about 8 months old, and I got the impression then that the teachers thought we were a bit keen. We'd like to go again soon as there's a new head, which is obviously really relevant, and we also know more about what to look for now (this thread has added to the list!). I'd like to have another proper look around and try and meet with the headteacher one-to-one as well. I'd also really like to meet a reception or Y1 teacher as well. Will they think I'm nuts to try and do this? I guess we also need to go and see a couple of other nearby schools (even the ones we won't get into) as comparisons. Not sure if we'll have time to do all of that. What did you do to assure yourself that you were happy with your prospective school choice, when you were looking at schools that sound like this one? (i.e. not independent, as I know its v different there).

Hi, it won't be seen as weird to have another look round especially since you looked round so long ago and since then a new head has been appointed. Heads can either make or fail a school so it is worthwhile to have a look round to see if the new head has changed the school for the better. On the open day you should get to meet a reception/year one teacher, you could always ask to have a chat with them, the worst that can happen is they say no. I think that you just know what is the right school for you and your child you just get that feeling like you do when you find your dream house, if you can imagine your child there it's probably the right school for you. Look at all the school, even the ones you may not get into, i know lots of children who waited on a waiting list for their favourite school because they wouldn't be in the first set of places allocated because they lived outside the catchment and generally they get offered a place before or whilst they are in reception. This is worth considering especially if you look round at schools and find one you really like.

Try and find out if theres an Easter fair coming up? they are often open to public and you'll certainly get an idea of what the parental involvement is like there [can be important]

Great tip on the Easter fair AmberLeaf, thanks. I've also just met someone who knows a couple of parents at the school so she's going to put me in touch with them (and, phew, they seem to like it!!). Thanks again everyone.