No sausages or ham sandwiches at Christmas party

[MaggieW]

Help, I need some perspective on this please.

DD, Y3, and her table have had to plan what they want to have to eat at their table for the class Christmas party next week. Five out of six children wanted ham sandwiches and the little party sausages, but the teacher said that these weren't allowed because there is a Muslim girl also at the table and she can't eat pork. I am quite taken aback by this as I would have thought if you can't eat something for some reason you don't, but it shouldn't prevent the others from having something they would like. In previous years there's been no restriction at all. What do others think please?

I think it really doesn't matter and you can put something different on the sandwiches.

I am a Muslim and I think this is not fair on the non muslim kids. I doubt this is the parents' doing , most likely the school who are over trying to be respectful. I think the teachers should just allow the food and the Muslim girl can just not eat that particular food. This is real life and I prepare my kids for it, not by making others NOT do things on their account, but by guiding my own to make thier faith based choices. Y3 is old enough for the girl to know what she is not to eat.
Have a talk with the school and allow the girl's parents to be involved i say.

This would really annoy me. When my kids were that age ham was about the only filling they would eat.

Gypsymummy has a very sensible take on things. I'm sure other Muslims don't expect all this fuss--it's probably non-Muslim falling prey to neurosis.

Is it possible for you to talk to the parents of the girl? I imagine she and they would be mortified at being singled out like this. IMO, it smacks of reverse racism and draws attention to this individual's otherness.
Alternatively, you could have a tea party after school and have a pork frenzy.

Do you mean that each table of six has their own food? Will there only be sausages and ham sandwiches or will there be other things too?

I think if they are providing alternatives then what's the worry.

A bit strange that the school would have offered the kids a choice though, given that they knew there were some things they wouldn't be providing.

Thanks for your replies. You're absolutely right gypsymummy, it's entirely the teacher's initiative, nothing to do with the child or family, which is why I find it frustrating. The Mum doesn't speak English so it's not something I can have a chat with her about as I would with any other mother in the playground.

I just find it strange that children were asked to come up with the menu (we provide the food), and then two of the most obvious party food choices were then effectively banned. Of course there'll be other things such as crisps, fruit etc, but that was the childrens' choice as their "main course" and it was denied. Incidentally, other tables in the class are allowed to have sausages etc which makes the whole thing even more ridiculous to me!

My DDs don't eat pork and in this situation we absolutely would not mind the other children having ham / sausages, though I would provide an alternative. They know that some children eat pork, but they don't, and they see this as normal and don't mind (yet )

could they not have beef sausages, or quorn?

Over reaction by teacher. At least a 3rd of dcs school is attended by muslim pupils and ham/pork is never banned afaik.

If the teacher had asked each group to design their own menu, then yes, I would expect them to include food that they could all share, rather than choosing items that exclude one of the group.

A Christmas party is hardly likely to be spoilt by a cheese sandwich??

As long as there is a 'main course' option of the muslim girl's choosing as well I really can't see a problem... I could maybe understand the teachers pov if they were encouraging only 1 pork option and then get the kids to choose something different, but to ban both seems ridiculous.

My DS does not eat soooo many things, the school would starve during the lunchtime if everything he does not eat would not be allowed :)

Christmas is not muslim celebrations. That is something up to them if they do not want to eat something. Also, imagine if everyone in the class excpet one is muslim. Would they eat during the Ramadan? No.

I meant to say, would muslim eat during Ramadan because of one non-muslim.

A party's not a pary without cocktail sausages. The teacher has made herself look ridiculous by not allowing pork products in the same room as a muslim.

So there are 6 children planning a menu, and 5 of them decided to choose something the other one couldn't eat.

Nice.

I just cannot see the problem, it's a fucking ham sandwich, no one is going to suffer long term damage from being denied a sandwich filling..... i think it is no big deal and it is good to be respectful to this little girl.

I can see why you're annoyed, but perhaps a compromise could be something like, use beef sausages, and turkey ham? Would that be acceptable? Although if they're objecting to pork, presumably anything they eat would have to be Halal (demonstrating my ignorance of Islamic food customs here)?

If there was a child with a severe allergy to pork products at that table, then the teacher's attitude would be reasonable. But in this case - and as long as alternatives are provided, not just a separate meal for the Muslim child - I think she is being over-sensitive.

Would she say 'no meat products at all' if there was a vegetarian child? I doubt it.

I say this as someone who was brought up as a practicing Jew, and who has been in this position many times.

The teacher's attitude is not respectful of another's beliefs; it is patronising.

It is contrary to every notion I have of inclusion - this means that everyone from whatever background rubs along together as well as they can and tollerates difference, it does not mean that no difference is permitted. I think I would have to explain this to the school and the teacher. They are risking creating situations of racial tension where none would otherwise exist.