No sausages or ham sandwiches at Christmas party

[MaggieW]

Help, I need some perspective on this please.

DD, Y3, and her table have had to plan what they want to have to eat at their table for the class Christmas party next week. Five out of six children wanted ham sandwiches and the little party sausages, but the teacher said that these weren't allowed because there is a Muslim girl also at the table and she can't eat pork. I am quite taken aback by this as I would have thought if you can't eat something for some reason you don't, but it shouldn't prevent the others from having something they would like. In previous years there's been no restriction at all. What do others think please?

It does seem a bit mean to not be inclusive, especially as only one girl is affected. Having a filling other than ham for once is surely not a big deal. And veggie sausages are nice.

If I knew someone didn't eat a particular food, then I wouldn't serve it at a party to which they were invited. It just seems polite to me.

Tolalola- doyou meanif you had a dinner party with a vegetarian attending then you wouldn't serve any meat to the others? I think most vegetarians would be quite surprised by that!

There are loads of different ways to view it.

The five children who want ham/sausages could be seen as excluding the sixth child.

On the other hand, banning the pork could be seen as singling out the sixth child.

On the other other hand, teacher may well be bending over backwards to avoid offence, particularly as the child's mother doesn't speak english, so it will be difficult for her to ask.

On the other other other hand, the Muslim child is old enough to be able to identify ham/sausages and avoid. And no-one's health is at risk, so ham/sausages should be OK as long as no-one's health is at risk.

Etc, etc, etc. You could argue about it all day.

So frankly, I think the teacher is stuck in the middle of a minefield. And it's a really stressful time of year. So cut the teacher some slack and encourage your child to enjoy the party regardless of food options.

Is it, after all, only a sausage or two. Pick your battles.

I think it's very OTT.

My DD1 is allergic to raisins and is in Y1. They still COOK WITH RAISINS and let all the other children eat raisins but give her something "special" other than that.

Same for school dinners etc

I would be mortified if the whole class was banned from eating raisings because of DD1. Where does it end then? If they have muslims not eating pork, Hindus who are vegetarian, people allergic to dairy, raisins, nuts etc...then nobody would be able to eat anything.

It's bonkers.

They are too little, and I can't be responsible for policing what they are putting on their plate.

Yr3 isn't that little. From reception age on, at playbarn type parties, DDs strictly-halal friend knew not only that he wasn't to eat hotdogs but also he passed on icecream. The muslim from a less strict family knew not to eat the hotdog but would eat the icecream. The hindu kids checked the hotdogs were pork not beef before eating them.

If the families have brought them up to think it matters, then they actually do seem to deal with it perfectly well. And FWIW the muslim kids all seemed happy to just eat chips if that's all there was rather than have anything special done. But it was just nicer if the hosts did think it through.

No, Jade, I never serve meat at dinner parties where someone's vegetarian. Maybe I'm lazy, but I don't want to cook 2 separate dinners. Everyone eats the same thing at my dinner parties, and nobody has ever shown even a flicker of surprise.

I think vegetarians would be more embarrassed by someone making something different for them, and as host, my main job is to make sure all my guests are happy and comfortable.

Wow can I come for dinner, I like the sound of that! I'm just used to non-veggies saying it's not a proper meal without meat (not that I agree!)so it's nice to hear it works for you!

my ds is muslim and at nursery he and his twop other friend who are also muslim have the vege options when the other nursery kids have meat that isnt halal, when we go to parts that include buffet food other mummys are good and always provide mehdi with the vege stuff, ds also knows to avoid pork!! its also good to know that muslim cannot eat any meat unless it is halal,

Well, it wasn't the OP that I thought was bosom-hefting, actually, but others who declared themselves 'annoyed' etc.
And I agree - pork products should be able to be included alongside alternatives for non-pork eaters of religious or veggie persuasion.

And yes, the teacher has handled it not the best way - but probably from good intent.

Those pre-cooked cocktail sausages are disgusting, though

We are muslim, i wouldnt be keen on this whole idea tbh, i suppose we are fairly strict but i wouldnt want dd eating buffet food on a table where it is really likely there will be cross contamination with pork products.

But i would tend to say dd should not participate rather than ruin it for the rest of the class, or sit on the veggie table. There would def be a veggie table at her school and tables with muslims/hindus/sikhs/jews who wouldnt want certain meats for religous reasons. It must be harder if it is just one child in the class.

hmmm maybe the teacher isn't keen on them either:)

feel a bit sorry for the teacher here

bet she hadn't seen this one coming- she's done an off the cuff, which I think is fair under the circumstances. It's not going to kill them, not being able to eat pork for one meal- is it??

agree with what seeker said upthread. Bit unkind to vote for food that one member of the party can't eat. Maybe time for a discussion about dietary rules/needs/requirements- from teacher, or parent, I reckon.

ps my dds have just killed a packet of quorn mini 'sausage' rolls without a squeak- I speak from experience

Urghhh veggie sausages and sausage rolls are evilllllllllll

I woulld feel thoroughly excluded if they had them

they seem to be just salt and fat wrapped in a rock hard pastry covering to me- much the same as the 'real' version imo

Poor bloody teacher - this is a no win situation - next year I expect she'll not give them the option of choosing a suitable menu.

As a parent I'd pipe down and let the kids enjoy the party.

Has nobody in the school considered halal or veggie sausages? That would include everyone...

Grimma - I agree that Y3 isn't that little, but I wasn't talking about Y3's.

Just a warning - this thread has been linked to on Twitter. By the BNP and a poster called "EnglishDrum" who terms himself "a nationalist, a realist, not a racist".

It depends on the number of other options available. If the table concerned has just been told to bring in a selection of food, then the teacher has probably been a bit OTT.

But at our school, each child is allowed to bring ONE item for the table. So if two children chose pork products then the child in question would be left with only three or four things to eat, which could be crisps and biscuits and nothing else savoury. That would seem to me to be a pretty mean choice by her playmates.

Am I missing the point (often do)? If the children were planning the menu as a group then they were supposed to be negociating between themselves, making decisions as a group and considering everyone on the table. Piggy products obviously don't suit everyone at the table so the teacher vetoed them, I am guessing because it's more than a matter of "not liking" something. I also presume the teacher would have had something to say about fourteen packs of Haribo too .

Does it really matter anyway?

Put away your chipolata and have a big mouthful of pork sauage, English Drum!

I agree with those who have said that surely if the point of the exercise was to plan something for them all to share together then five of the girls have spectacularly missed the point by planning two things that one girl cannot eat. Quite mean-spirited, I would say, ubnless I have misunderstood.

Personally if I have my muslim, jewish, vegan, pregnant, etc, friends over then I serve something we can all eat.

Oh I can't spell today.