No sausages or ham sandwiches at Christmas party

[MaggieW]

Help, I need some perspective on this please.

DD, Y3, and her table have had to plan what they want to have to eat at their table for the class Christmas party next week. Five out of six children wanted ham sandwiches and the little party sausages, but the teacher said that these weren't allowed because there is a Muslim girl also at the table and she can't eat pork. I am quite taken aback by this as I would have thought if you can't eat something for some reason you don't, but it shouldn't prevent the others from having something they would like. In previous years there's been no restriction at all. What do others think please?

But if you were part of a group of friends who were planning an Ash Wednesday menu, it would be at the very least thoughtless for them to choose a meat based meal for you all.

Seeker... they are not planning a 'muslim festivity menu'.

Many of my kids' friends are muslim or hindus. Therefore, to avoid any complication, we try to go mostly vegetarian and no pork in parties.

This is a 'Christmas party'. I am convinced most parents would not mind a variety of choice in the menu, including sausages and ham.
I agree the teacher is overreacting... Perhaps the OP too. There are many possibilities out there on food.

No - it is not a "whole class" menu. It is the menu for a group of six children - one of whom can't eat pork. I would expect a child of mine to make sure they chose things they could all eat.

Sorry - I see what you mean. In my Ash wednesday post, I meant "planning a menu to be eaten on Ash Wednesday" Not an "Ash Wednesday Menu" Which would presumably consist of bitter herbs anyway!

Have not read entire post but just wanted to say that at my dcs' school where there are lots of muslims, meat of any kind is never on the list for party foods. I think this is to avoid mistakes being made with regards to pork and also other meat having to be "halal". This works very well and nobody seems to mind - there are lots of other things people eat and it's only one party a term after all. In the lunch hall there are vegatarian and meat options on offer every day. I suppose that all that meat must be halal and wonder what they do about the pork (have never been in lunch hall at lunch time) - my guess is they never have it.

As a vegatarian I am glad that there is no meat on offer at parties though it is true that as kids get older they are able to make out what everything is and choose accordingly.
I think it shows awareness that the teacher is trying to be sensitive towards the muslim little girl at the table. She might be "overdoing" it as some here have said but she seems to have the best of intentions.

Sorry, have not read entire thread not "post".

I don't see a problem here.

I presume the teacher has asked each group to come up with a menu that caters to everyone in that group, which is actually a really nice activity to teach skills of teamwork.

The purpose will have been to find a compromise. If a compromise wasn't reached then the objectives wouldn't have been reached either.

The kids will have had to take into account the tastes and preferences of their group members - just like in 'real life'.

I think it's great that the teacher is helping them to make choices that benefit all the pupils, and that everyone is included in the menu building process.

So they don't get a ham sandwich. Big deal. That's what compromise means, and it's an important lesson to learn.

Like seeker, I'd be disappointed if ds and four of his friends failed to consider the dietry requirements of a sixth team member.

I think it was an interesting excersise though - the DCs had various options that they could have explored, such as bringing pork sausages in but also bringing an alternative (maybe the teacher didn't want to ask parents to send in two dishes, though), forgoing the pork, only having halal sausages and so on.

As a lifelong vegtarian it really concerns me to see so many non-Muslim people casually offering halal meat as the solution to the problem. Maybe some further awareness of the process that constitutes "halal" would be helpful - it is a cruel way to slaughter an animal and I'm a bit saddened that it's being seen as such as great idea. I'm not saying there is any humane way to slaughter animals before their natural death, but the Halal practice is particularly barbaric.

But why should only ONE table in the entire class be told that their group of 6 can't have ham sandwiches or sausages, when EVERY other group of 6 in the class can? To me, that's unfair. And I have a coeliac 8yo, who in Y3 was MORE than able to tell his teachers he could/couldn't eat a particular food, and even read imgredients lists to check for all the different things that gluten can be 'disguised' as.

Surely a fairer way to cater the party would be to have the sandwiches etc, and some veggie/halal options for the savoury choices? Then everyone that wanted ham/sausages could have them, and those that can't/won't have other options, without making 5 children in a whole class go without something that would be their FIRST choice for party food?

IMO the teacher is not being sensitive to the feelings of everyone in the class, only to the 20-odd dc's in the other small groups, and the one girl that can't eat pork, but not the 5 dc that are in this one girls' group.

Teacher needs a kick up the butt and to change the way the party is catered.

With DS1, I don't expect the whole class to have a totally Gluten-free Christmas party just because HE can't eat gluten - that would be bloody odd. I send him in with his own plate of GF party food to avoid cross-contamination, and then everyone in the class gets to enjoy the party.

does the teacher not see the contradiction between worrying about the presence of pork , but happily having a muslim child attending a christian celebration?

surely the whole class should be abstaining from any christmas activities in order not to offend the child?

though i wouldn't be upset about my kid not having a sausage just for one day.

i'd be pretty ashamed of my kid if he cared more about having a sausage at school than sharing and including all his friends.

If your kid will only eat ham thats your problem, ist not all about you.

Not fucking pc nonsense just regular human decency.

quote: ''It sound a bit "Christmas Trees Banned in Lambeth in case Minority Groups are Offended"
This is typical Daily Mail style propoganda. My daughter goes to school in deepest Lambeth (Brixton in fact). They have a Xmas tree, a nativity show and the school meals do not do halal. The Muslim children have the veggie option. At her birthday parties from reception I have made ham sandwiches and asked the parents before about any dietry issues. I then made sure the non pork eaters had the other option of sandwich.
On school trips I have heard Muslim children tell others ( as passing cafes) that non halal food is dirty and disgusting. I have no hesitation in telling them that we are all different and eat different things and it is not nice telling somone that their food is disgusting.

I am Jewish.

I don't eat pork/ham etc.

I am bringing up my children in the same way. Part of that is them learning what they can eat and what they cannot. They will not learn this if they are shielded from this choice.

By year 6 - a muslim / jewish kid should be aware of what they are allowed and not allowed to eat because of their religion.

So no beef for hindu kids too? Kosher for Jewish kids? Fish only on a Friday for old-time Catholics? You can't ban some foods for one sector only, surely. I don't like the idea of veal, gelatine or rennet being fed to the kids either.

Our school has kids of all religions and the only thing banned is anything with nuts. I have heard some kids with the 'everyone else is dirty' attitude. And I know for a fact that their dads drink whisky and have girlfriends behind their wive's backs!

I think it is important for children to have choice and for those who don't eat certain things for whatever reason (what about no animal products if a child in the class is vegan?) understand what they don't eat (obviously, if they are tiny, whoever is overseeing the party would need to keep an eye open). I am veggie but would never assume that if I went to a party there would be no meat or fish whatsoever in case I was 'offended' in any way.

I am a great believer in 'when in Rome'. Children should understand that people eat different things and that they can't impose their own requirements on others - whether it is religious, ethical or mere whimsy. Can you imagine if kids wrote the lunch menus - 'so green vegetables are yukky, so we won't have them...'