"punishment" in year 1

[makemineaginandtonic]

DD is not settling into Yr1 particularly well and especially dislikes "carpet time" because it's boring and her bum goes numb. Today she was talking (actually reciting a poem from a book she borrowed from school!) during carpet time and as a result was delayed going out to play time and had to spend extra time on the carpet.

I really don't agree with "punishments" such as this, especially when it is keeping her from a physical activity which might actually calm her down and make it easier to sit still!

What other experiences of "punishments" are out there?

should I talk to the teacher and tell her what I think?

OP howabout answering my question?

Ds (6)can recite any number of poems, sing songs, play the piano and generally be very entertaining. If he did any of these in his classroom without being asked and did not listen to the teacher he would be punished. The choice of recital material is completely and utterly irrelevant.

'I asked him has he ever missed minutes? He tells me that yes, he has missed one minute since he started Year 1, four weeks ago. Only one minute, I ask? 'Yes Mum, I like going out to play so I havent talked on the carpet again'

A sensible DC! I can't see why OP didn't explain the simple logic to her DD.

I would hate to have igitur for a mother-I hated explanations like that as a DC, especially from someone who clearly has a chip on their shoulder.

Your bit about sharing the poem ,makemineaginandtonic, shows that you quite clearly have never had 30 DCs on a carpet! They are bursting to share things and you would never get anything done if you shared it all-as it is they are likely to tell you, in the middle of a counting session something completely irrelevant such as 'my shoes are new'! It is lovely on a one to one, but the rest don't always want to hear. It is a hard lesson to learn to listen to others and you need to help your DD to do it.

OP - your child needs to wise up! My son has always been far too canny to let me know when he's been in trouble! And it's been pretty common over the last couple of years - now yr2 - and often as a result of carpet time misbehaviour. (Obviously, he's far too bright, and not being engaged as he's not being stretched. )
He knows, however, that a minute or two off breaktime is pretty harmless compared to the consequences if mummy finds out and BACKS THE TEACHER UP!!!

I'm confused MMAGAT, I thought she was allowed to go out, but was delayed by a couple of minutes, not that she wasn't allowed out at all? That is a slightly different matter, surely?

But certainly have a look at alternative education if you aren't comfortable with the "one size fits all" approach. Teaching a group of 30 young children means that an approach has to be consistent and suitable for all.

Ds's favourite time at school is maths lessons. Sometimes I find it hard to believe we are actually related.

But she wasn't stopped from playing, she was held back for a few minutes. It's not exactly equivalent to locking her in the cellar all day! I think describing this as 'harsh' is completely overreacting, and yes, you do seem to believe that your child's desire to recite a poem is more important than the teacher's teaching, or the need and desire of all the other children to learn. That is what has provoked the reaction.

"I genuinely felt upset that my DD hadn't been able to go out to play"

Did she miss her whole playtime? In your OP it suggests just a few minutes were lost. There is a big difference between the sanction if it was2 or 3 minutes or the full break time.

You all sound sound so bitter....makes me think thou dost protest too much

makemineaginandtonic I imagine the teacher was genuinely upset your daughter recited a poem during the lesson and I imagine the parents would be genuinely upset if the teacher allowed it to continue to the detriment of their child's learning.

So it is a wind-up then?

I thought no-one could really be this upset by such a mundane and minor thing.

Yes, and then Jack can recite last night's footall results and Sophie can sing her favourite song from Saturday night's X Factor.

It doesnt matter what the child is saying, talking over the teacher is inappropriate and it's easier to learn that when you're 5 isnt it?

lolol

Unfortunately a lot of our education does have to be one size fits all to a degree .

It simply isn't practical to cater for every child all the time. A skilled and good teacher would make sure all children felt listened to and included when appropriate and lessons should obviously be differentiated for ability, but whole class time has to be short and snappy or otherwise you will have 30 children fidgeting on the carpet!

It is so hard when it is your child upset, and I do see it from the POV of a parent and teacher, but it just isn't possible to teach as you are asking.

lol

"Thou dost protest too much" - what do you mean?

Knitting - I think her DD has been reciting to her again.

i'd thought you'd flounced off MMAGAT, due to us not agreeing with your ravings musings about your dd disrupting the learning of the other 29 children in the class. do the rest of the class a favour and he your kid.

ignorance is bliss knittingisbetterthantherapy!

OP, this means you makemineaginandtonic, would you be happy if your dd didn't enjoy school because she was disturbed by other children talking when they should have been listening to the teacher.

I am genuinely keen to hear your answer. Not sure why you think I and other posters are 'bitter' because we disagree that your view that your dd shouldn't have missed some playtime for not listening to her teacher and talking in class. Like others have said I would be very surprised if this was her first offence.

makemineaginandtonic Tue 28-Sep-10 21:34:02

You all sound sound so bitter....makes me think thou dost protest too much

no one is protesting we are trying to get through to someone who can't or won't list

I am not bitter with the DC -just with parents attitudes.
All it needed was a simple 'well if you want to go out on time with the other DCs you need to be quiet when someone else is speaking'.
Of course it is hard to sit still but it is necessary and they need to learn. The other DCs will get fed up if they are expected to listen to one DC and she never listens to them-friendship is give and take.
By 5 yrs old DCs should have been taught that you don't just interrupt others.

Blimey - this isn't even AIBU! OP, if I were you I would have got it by now! You are being overly precious. You will do your dd many more favours by helping her fit in and behave at school rather than battling the teacher.

Eh? I'm not sure what you mean tbh! Your quote doesn't make any sense in the context, but what would I know, I'm only a teacher with one degree and two masters qualifications.

My DD (6) came home mortified that she had been told off at school for the first time! She had her peg taken down on the board for talking in class. I have to say that on this one occasion I laughed and laughed at her being told off. The teacher even laughed with me and thought it was hilarious...DD had selective mutism and hadn't ever spoken in class before!! the thought of her turning up one day completely out of the blue and just talking non-stop and getting told off had me in stitches. I still backed up the teacher - despite the fact we'd spent nearly 3 years trying to get her to talk!!! Needless to say it did no harm and she now talks all the time at school (but not on the carpet!)

"You all sound sound so bitter...."

I'm not bitter. I love my job. I love working with the Y1 children. I love helping them learn. I love having fun with them. I don't particulalrly enjoy having to dish out sanctions, but will do, as required, as gently but firmly as possible.

I have also been the mum of a Y1 child. She is now in Y4. I know it is horrid to see your child upset, but I also know that there are times that you just have to explain that they did something a bit wrong and needed to take their sanction, and to learn from it - I know sometimes it is important to make sure my DD knows I will support her teacher and school.

The way you work and disciplinea child on its own is very different and totally unworkable when you are working with a class of 30 children.