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Original poster

"punishment" in year 1

318 replies

makemineaginandtonic · 28/09/2010 17:09

DD is not settling into Yr1 particularly well and especially dislikes "carpet time" because it's boring and her bum goes numb. Today she was talking (actually reciting a poem from a book she borrowed from school!) during carpet time and as a result was delayed going out to play time and had to spend extra time on the carpet.

I really don't agree with "punishments" such as this, especially when it is keeping her from a physical activity which might actually calm her down and make it easier to sit still!

What other experiences of "punishments" are out there?

should I talk to the teacher and tell her what I think?

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Feenie · 28/09/2010 18:16

"To me it seems obvious that this method of teaching is not engaging her."

What method of teaching? In Year 1, pretty much every method will involve sitting and listening at some stage. You don't know what teaching method the teacher was using. And nor does your dd, since she wasn't listening.

If you're going to decide that somehow your dd's behaviour must be the teacher's fault, then I agree with Goblinchild - consider home educating.

Goblinchild · 28/09/2010 18:17

What was she like last year in reception?
Is she an August birthday?
Is she your PFB and used to a lot of choice in her life and adult approval for all her adorable antics?

Feenie · 28/09/2010 18:18

"Of course that is the ideal, but has anyone even wondered why she isn't listening? Maybe she can't hear, maybe she can't understand the teacher's accent, maybe she's really anxious about getting it right?"

But you are the op - wouldn't you have said that in the beginning, if that was the case? If not, why not? Hmm

Goblinchild · 28/09/2010 18:20

Most children who are anxious about getting it right tend to watch the other childsren and the teacher for cues.
Reciting a poem loudly on the carpet smacks of a need for the limelight. Grin

juicy12 · 28/09/2010 18:21

Maybe she can't hear, maybe she can't understand the teacher's accent, maybe she's really anxious about getting it right?

Well, have you asked her if any of the above is the case? If she can't hear, you need to take her to the GP to arrange a hearing test. Carpet time is a way of teaching in most primary schools and if you're opposed to your DD having to sit still and listen during that time, you may want to look at alternatives. Home Ed, for example.
I get your point about it possibly being counter-productive making her miss playtime where she has the chance to let off steam, but she needs to learn about what is and isn't appropriate in the class, then she won't miss out on her play.

Original poster
makemineaginandtonic · 28/09/2010 18:22

Goblinchild she was similar in reception, is a july 31 birthday and is my PFB of 3.

I don't want to stir up the s%*t I want to make her do the right thing!! But making her feel bad isn't going to work! Today she came out of school crying about it!

OP posts:
frogetyfrog · 28/09/2010 18:23

Even is she cant hear 100% (and one of my dds couldnt as it turns out) or understand the accent then there is still no excuse to be disruptive. Presumably she is not so deaf that she isnt aware the teacher or other children are talking. Not sure how being anxious about getting it right would make you recite poems?

Either this is a wind up or you really need to wake up to the fact that not everybody will find your dd as lovely as you do, and make excuses for her behaviour. It will be a rude awakening for her if you dont start to reinforce it now.

frogetyfrog · 28/09/2010 18:25

If she came out crying then the liklihood is she will have learnt her lesson. Maybe they werent as hard on her in reception as it is a very gentle introduction into school. Each year going up the school the teachers seem to expect better behaviour.

frogetyfrog · 28/09/2010 18:27

And why isnt making her feel bad about it going to work? Surely if anybody does wrong they need to feel bad about it or else there is no realisation that it is wrong?

Genuinely confused.

Goblinchild · 28/09/2010 18:29

Grin Nuff said for me to get the picture.
If you've not got your listening ears on, this thread will be very predictable.
It is usual for thwarted 5 year olds to get upset when the world is not to their liking, but you'd be hard-put to find a school that doesn't have a one or two minute sanction for this sort of disruption.

Original poster
makemineaginandtonic · 28/09/2010 18:30

If you honestly believe that being made to feel bad about something is the only way of changing behaviour then I feel very sad. She needs to be made to feel GOOD about being good not the other way around!

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 28/09/2010 18:31

HE is the answer.

frogetyfrog · 28/09/2010 18:34

Oh dear. I think I will have to bail on this one as clearly you are not going to listen to so many people saying roughly the same thing.

Its difficult to put into action the ignoring the bad behaviour part of 'ignore the bad, praise the good' in a class of children. Surely you can see that.

What should they have done - ignored it and let 29 other children be disrupted? Praised her for her ability to talk so well? Punished her by saying how excellent she was without mentioning the unacceptable behaviour?

I think you may be in for a lot of feeling very sad throughout her school life if you feel this way.

PixieOnaLeaf · 28/09/2010 18:34

This reply has been deleted

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PatriciaHolm · 28/09/2010 18:34

If she was like it in reception how did they deal with it? Ours would sit hhe child down and tell them how their bad behaviour affected everyone else.

You need to be backing the school up on this one; tell her it's nothing to cry about, just concentrate harder next time. The teacher isn't going to come up with some alternative for her to do other than sit on the carpet just because "it's not engaging her" - she has to learn to deal with it.

Original poster
makemineaginandtonic · 28/09/2010 18:35

You have really helped, thanks.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 28/09/2010 18:35

Maybe they did praise the good, and now she has the bit between her teeth and assumes that she is a lovable free spirit and can do as she wishes and expect praise?

emy72 · 28/09/2010 18:36

It sounds to me like you are genuinely worried about your DD not settling in well at school and you are worried that this punishment is going to make it worse.

However I think you should try and separate the two; maybe go in and talk about the fact she is not settling, what the reasons are etc

Disruption during lessons though must be nipped in the bud, otherwise all kids would start doing it......

PatriciaHolm · 28/09/2010 18:39

Oh, and the punishment isn't about making her feel bad - it's about making her realize there are consequences to not behaving as she asked to, and she won't particularly enjoy them. She needs to understand crying about it to you won't result in this consequences magically disappearing..

Original poster
makemineaginandtonic · 28/09/2010 18:44

emy72 thank you for your moderate answer, I think you are right. I disagree with disruption too.

OP posts:
Whocantakeasunrise · 28/09/2010 18:50

How would you deal with it at home OP?

If you were talking to an adult, and your dc wanted your attention, and would not wait for you to finish your conversation, how would you show that was unacceptable?

zubin · 28/09/2010 18:50

I would be surprised if a 'punishment' was handed out without prior warning, I know my ds has been put on the cloud (his schools 1st stage of discipline) for talking on the carpet but was warned before - he carried on he got into trouble, it's a valuable lesson for kids to learn and in year 1 they are old enough to understand why they have to sit quietly. I do feel for you - my ds is always really really upset if he gets into trouble and the protective mummy bit comes out - I never make a big deal out of it just say 'never mind don't worry about it just remember to do as X tells you and don't talk on the carpet' job done

mrtumblewhereareyou · 28/09/2010 18:54

Children need to know what is accepted and all teachers/TAs try their best to be positive, respond positively and ignore less desirable behaviours. Sometimes however you need to make it clear that there are some expected behaviours so that this will in time help the child understand.

booyhoo · 28/09/2010 18:55

your DD disrupted the class, this is unacceptable, she was given a consequence. she cried because consequences to negative behaviour are not nice. they aren't supposed to be or else you wouldn't learn your lesson. children who often get to do as they please don't respond well to having to toe the line like everyone else. i suspect if you had real concerns about your DD's hearing you would not be whingeing about the teacher's method of punishment you would be seeking her opinion on what could help your daughter in class.

Hulababy · 28/09/2010 19:04

The sanction o missing a few minutes of paytime was not designed to make her feel bad. It was done to show her that there is a consequence for her actions. If you sit and listen as expected - you get to go out on time (in our class you sometimes even get to go out eary infact.) If you chose to chat and disrupt others then the consequence is to miss a bit of playtime .

I suspect she was crying because she had been caught out and made to face her consequence. It;s horrid a a parent to see your little one upset. TBF, as teaching staff, we don't ste out to make children cry either, and in infants especially teachers are normally very gentle on children but will speak firmly where necessary and will carry out sanctions.

You say she was not engaged? Why was she not engaged? Have you asked her why it is boring and what ist is she doesn't like? Is she finding the work too difficult and not understanding? Does she not like having to sit still? Does she not like doing a certain subject area? Can she see the baord okay? Can she hear the teaher ok?

"Boring" IMO - well for my daughter at least - would not be an acceptable answer. Children use the word to mean anything and everyting IME.

Before you go to the techer, talk to our DD.

Then, when you know, see the teacher if necessary and see if you and the teacher can work together to see your DD engaged and joining in, and not disruptive. Show a united front with school. Show your DD that school and learnig is fun, but in order to make it fun she needs to be listening and joining in with classmates, not chosing to do her own thing.