Late abortion

[Preeti156]

Hi
iam Currently pregnant and I went to a clinic and I was 23+2 days and I was emotional there as it was very busy with men and woman and a church table outside.
they refused the abortion as they said I was emotional but was scared as I have health issues.
They are saying it is is now to late to get treatment even though I want to terminate due to health conditions and I have 3 children who have disabilities one severe, Iam struggling with my mental health where they said no and no where is open the weekend. I’m struggling to breath with copd too.
has anyone got an abortion at 23 weeks 6 days thanks
sorry if this is a sensitive subject but my heath is deteriorating have asked for a referral to a hospital but not heard anything. Thanks

OP I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I think as you presented so near the cut off for termination for non medical reason it was always going to be a challenge to find somewhere to do it within the limit as not all services offer it this late it’s usually in hospital with a specialist. Which service did you try and initially? And was it just that your were emotional? If they thought you were being coerced it didn’t really want to do it I can see why they wouldn’t want to do the procedure. Did you only find out you were pregnant very late?

Hi I tried msi choices and it’s my first time ever getting one so was really nervous and I went in my own as didn’t know if you was allowed a friend to come there, I found out very late which makes it harder. My health conditions are being affected if I would have known earlier I would have be seen sooner. I’m just worried now as it’s the weekend and everyone will refuse to do it now and I’m not sure if I can get it under medical conditions. On Monday Iam 23+6 days and msi are saying they need to do a 2 day prep so they can’t which you think they would be able too

Also msi didn’t have any appointments for 10 days either which has pushed me at the limit ;(

Sorry to hear you’re going through this OP. I also think you’ll struggle this late on and so close to the cut off, but it would definitely be worth ringing around other clinics to see if any can help. & speaking to your gp next week about other options if you can’t get an abortion xx

Thanks will try to call around, will do that and where it’s the weekend everywhere is closed, so annoyed with myself for being emotional in there. It really wasn’t a relaxing please in there they left me waiting hours in a busy clinic so my emotions got the better of me plus my child doesn’t sleep well and was up in the night due to her disabilities ;(
hopefully can get this sorted out as physically won’t cope on my own with 3 children and this thanks for your reply

How come you ask for one 23+2? It's late.

A termination can be carried out after 24 weeks in very limited circumstance so you are in a more than a rush to fix this.

It sounds like you need some support over the weekend to talk things through and hear about your options if it is that you are too late for abortion.

There is a pregnancy crisis helpline that I think you could google and ring over the weekend. They wont be able to offer termination but you could talk to them for support and potentially discuss options.

I don’t think you’ll be able to find anywhere with one day to spare at a weekend unfortunately. Unless someone knows more than me and what circumstances this can be done after 24 w? But I think it’s only if the baby has severe health issues after 24 w (please correct me if I’m wrong) so sorry you are in such a difficult situation

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Have you got any rl support ?

Seriously, that’s your contribution to this? Leave the OP alone, they’re struggling enough with out you making them feel worse.

As PP said call pregnancy crisis
Call every clinic
Find out what your options are

This is painful and difficult situation. I am so sorry you are in this position

Services that offer abortion are not meant to provide 'backlash'.

Not a helpful post at all.

Sorry op but you are far too late, these procedures can't be arranged that quickly, not like early termination due to the procedure being different. You have to actually give birth too. Would you consider adoption? I know it's a very tough ask to give up your baby but there are parents out there who would be able to give them a great life, and today you can have it open so you get updates, even meet up. All around it's incredibly hard for you and I send you my love

@whateveryouwantmetosay it's not a moral "backlash" the OP has encountered for goodness sake. It's practical and legal considerations given that she's near the legal cut off point. That's all.

I'm so sorry you're experiencing such distress. It must be so scary to be in this position. Do you have any friends or family to speak too? Are you in a relationship?

The difficulty you are facing is finding doctors willing to agree to it. You would need approval from two doctors.

It is very risky for doctors to go ahead in such a short time without thorough assessment that all in all, your needs for an abortion are more valid than the needs of the baby growing inside of you. This is because babies can survive with extensive medical support at that stage of pregnancy, so there is also a individual moral consideration for clinicians to go ahead.

What would happen if you went ahead with the pregnancy? What would be the risk to you physically and psychologically. Would it put you in danger?

I would advise you to contact BPAS, they are very good. However, I think you need to be prepared that in all likelihood, no physicians will be prepared to do it at this stage of pregnancy.

Hi OP,

I am so very sorry that you are going through this, you can’t help that you found out late, you can’t help that you have health issues and you can’t help that you already have 3 children with additional needs who need you. You are trying to do the best thing for you and your children even though I know that must be very hard.

The 24 week cut off is the cut off for termination for any reason at all, it is still possible to terminate after this time but there must be certain criteria, you may meet this criteria based on the risk this pregnancy poses to you and your health and mental health. This situation will be beyond the remit of most private clinics, I think your best chance of getting the assistance you need is via your GP/Hospital, I know this is very difficult but they are best placed to be able to asses you and your needs and refer you to the right services.

I very much hope you get the help that you need.

Thinking if you 💐

If your mh is fragile an abortion so late won't help you like you imagine imo. Consider adoption? Then your dc and you have a chance of a better outcome....

I had a friend in a similar position, she was feeling exactly like you, and she called 111, and they were able to help her arrange an abortion at 23+4, she did have to travel for it, but they managed to get her sorted by the cut off point.

Have you got any rl support for yourself, and to look after your dc while you're having the procedure? If not it might be worth contacting SS as well to help with the kids while you recuperate.

I hope you manage to get something sorted op 💐

Did you just gloss over the fact that her physical health is also shit and the pregnancy is making it worse?

As if adoption would be great for her mental health either.

It will soon be Monday morning, start ringing round then, Preeti.

I do hope you get some help, are you in the UK? If so, the BPAS and Brook are very good. A late termination is not a pleasant experience, I know someone who had one. It may be a good idea to be sterilised once this is over, you could say you want that which might rhelp your case. Ask your own doctor about it.

Good luck whatever happens. I feel for you, it's a rotten situation to be in. Nobody has the right to judge you.

She will be giving birth whatever she decides..

Her body her choice. You have no right to say this especially to a woman who is clearly struggling.

No practical advice to add @Preeti156 but I hope you get the support you need. Ignore those judging when they haven't walked in your shoes.