Not ready to have baby ~ hypermesis 3rd time

[imsoscared2022]

I'm really scared. I want to die. Please be kind because I can't talk to my husband about it. He's saying you've survived it 2x before but...it's not easy and I have a 1 year old. It was an accidental pregnancy and I only found out 2 days ago that I'm 6 weeks (I'm bang on 7 weeks today). The nausea is horrific. I can't look after my 1 year old or 4 year old. Would it be wrong to terminate. I've just read on bpas and stuff. I'm scared to do it alone. I'm not ready for another child.

Have you been through a termination before? Do you know what to expect?

Really hope you get responses soon!

I really feel for you. I had hyperemesis with my 2nd child. About 6 weeks after he was born I threw up with a migraine and it sent me into a two week panic attack where I was convinced i was pregnant again. I flew home to England to sit in a&e for 12 hours to get a blood test/termination. With my newborn. In the midst of covid :( I was utterly terrified of another pregnancy. like PP have said the hyperemesis was so traumatic I am still dealing with the psychological repercussions.
It’s totally ok that you can’t go through another pregnancy. 100% your choice. Are u in Northern Ireland by any chance? It was a nightmare trying to get any advice on termination. Please PM me if you are and have any questions. I will put you in touch with the people who helped me.
wishing u all the best x

@Orcasmom I've not had one before but I've spoken to someone who did and also on here I've read up on peoples experience. I'm just hoping they can let me pick the pills up as on one of the websites it says you can once you've had your appointment.

@letmeeatcrisps thank you so much for your post. I really appreciate it as it gives me strength now knowing someone else who went through with it due to hypermesis. I'm in the north of England btw. The sickness injection helped for a day or so. But back to the awful vomiting. Hopefully I'll wake up for my 8am appointment tomorrow to discuss the termination. That's another thing I prefer the word termination. The other word seems so scary.

My 5 year old and one year old are both vomiting atm due to a bug. My 5 year old really wants a baby brother but since she's been vomiting she said mummy I don't want you to have a baby if you're going to vomit like this. My poor child.

I don't think I have any idea just how horrendous you feel. I can't imagine being pregnant, so ill for months let alone looking after 2 DC as well.

I am horrified at the partners being so unsupportive

@RandomMess thank you so much. My partner after seeing me struggle has come to terms with us terminating this pregnancy. I'm just waiting on actually talking to someone about the termination. My appointment in the morning was cancelled due to a problem with the system. I have an appointment this afternoon. I'm just worried baby is getting bigger for termination. I wish they'd understand how stressful it is for women.

I hope you get seen today, I'm sure you probably feel wrung out

Thank you so much. If I ever look back and regret what I did, this thread will remind me that my pregnancy was like a disability for me. My health was bad, I had to stay in bed and my mental health as well as my 1 year olds health was suffering. My 4 year old was being neglected.

I've been finding it really hard. My anti sickness pills aren't working atm. My husband had to look after the kids all night yesterday. I felt it. He felt it. It's not good for me to feel like this.

It sounds beyond grim

I'm so sorry for you - I hope your appt comes through soon. I struggled with the standard pregnancy sickness - I can't even imagine the hell of going through HG, let alone with other children to take care of at the same time.

Thank you for the support guys. I'm just waiting for tomorrow so I can go to the clinic and get the pills. I really would love to have another child but it's really too much for me. I feel weak and unable to carry a baby. I've just spent 3 hours awake with my 1 year old and had to hold my sick in for a few minutes until after she fell asleep. Poor child can't understand why mummy's not holding her so kept whimpering every so often. Hubbys in the other room with my 5 year old.

I went to the clinic and have taken my first pill. I've been crying but I know it's the right decision. I wasn't able to hold my 1 year old or look after her properly from feeling weak from the pregnancy/hypermesis. I hope someday God gives me the strength to carry another child healthily.

I had my phone consultation today and I have a 3 week wait for my next phone appointment, so a total of 5 weeks I'll be waiting. Thinking about giving up because msi have been an actual pain to deal with Hope everything's going well, I remember the relief of waking up the next day and the first time of being able to eat and feeling myself again. Sending hugs

Hope you're doing OK. Take some time to rest and heal.

@RandomMess thanks. I'm feeling a little upset at what could have been.

@Fuzzyhippo I'm so sorry. Have you tried Nupas? They let me go get the pack today because I was so sick. I'm a little sad but deep down I know it was the right decision for me. I tried to get some anti sickness pills from the hospital today(doctors didn't help) telling them I had hypermesis and they said sorry we're really tied up and we're a unit for real ilnesses. I said hypermesis is a real Illness. The nausea is still there. I'm just dreading the second set of pills tomorrow and the bleeding x

@Dogroses thank you x

Honestly it sounds really grim

It's very sad "what could have been" but being severely I'll and likely in hospital for 8 months would have a massive impact on your other DC.

Please be so very kind to yourself it's painful thing to endure in every way

Please be kind to yourself. I had hg and it took me to really dark places where I thought about a lot of dark things, it's not a way to live and 9 months is far too long for anyone to live through that. I considered abortion despite being pregnant to my first very much wanted dc. I would have had a second child by now and the only thing that has stopped me is the hg because there is no way in hell that I would want to go through that ever again and allowing it impact to my dc as I would not be able to take care of him.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. Found out I was pregnant and already have two little ones. My second pregnancy was HG and I went through hell. I was suicidal. At week 5 this time I became unwell with that familiar feeling (you know what I mean) and decided I would not put my body or my family through hell again. am I sad? A bit. But I am actually more grateful that I have a healthy family who now have their mum with them. I dread to think what would have happened if I had done another 9 months of HG. I doubt I would be here.

Unless you've had hg or seen it first hand to someone you love them you can't imagine. It's horrific. And it's not selfish to not want to go through that. Hope that helps.

@RandomMess I felt like not taking the second set of pills this morning and seeing if my baby was alive. I felt like I should have been brave and stronger and handled the vomiting like other hg sufferers but my hg was bad. I had a relapse this afternoon and vomited like mad...bile everywhere...maybe a reminder from God how hard it was for me these past few days/weeks...I've taken the second set of pills and know it's the right choice. You're right I would have been in hospital for the remainder of the months...I could have died. Thanks for posting it really helps.

@trufflequeen you're so right. It's hard to manage whilst looking after young kids. We barely managed looking after eldest dd when pregnant with dd2. My husband used to cook and clean and everything. But this time he has to look after 2 kids and it's that much harder especially for me. This time I took the sickness pills and it made me sleepy all day. That's not a way to live.

@trufflequeen it taking us to dark places is exactly how I feel. I felt like an inadequate human for not being strong to carry my baby and do what others can do without effort. But that's not true and it's the evil part of my brain talking. Hypermesis is a disability.