Not ready to have baby ~ hypermesis 3rd time

[imsoscared2022]

I'm really scared. I want to die. Please be kind because I can't talk to my husband about it. He's saying you've survived it 2x before but...it's not easy and I have a 1 year old. It was an accidental pregnancy and I only found out 2 days ago that I'm 6 weeks (I'm bang on 7 weeks today). The nausea is horrific. I can't look after my 1 year old or 4 year old. Would it be wrong to terminate. I've just read on bpas and stuff. I'm scared to do it alone. I'm not ready for another child.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having an abortion if that is what you want or need 💐

I've just started vomiting with blood. I just don't have anyone to help me. I wish my partner was more helpful. Although he did say yesterday you're the one carrying the baby you decide what to do.

I had terrible sickness with my long awaited second child and considered terminating too. I struggled on because it was a wanted and tried for baby but honestly if I ever got pregnant again accidentally I’m fairly sure I would terminate as just couldn’t deal with pregnancy again. I think you need to do what’s right for you. I’m sorry your husband isn’t more supportive. Sending hugs.

Vomiting blood definitely isn't normal. I think you need to get checked out!

I don't say this lightly OP buy if I got pregnant again with a third that I would terminate.

Unless anyone has experienced hyperemesis then they have absolutely no idea what it is like.

It suck the soul out of you and takes years to recover from.

You need to go to A&E if you're vomiting blood. Make him take you and sit through the medical assessment. He needs to see the harsh reality.

Personally I would terminate. Best wishes to you.

I've had a late term medical due to HG 2 years ago. I'm prone to it and have had it in every pregnancy. I'm pregnant again, not even 5 weeks gone and I'm throwing up atleast 6 times a day

I've been trying to type something since I last posted but my head is spinning with the sickness. When I'm okay I think keep it. When I'm not I want to die. I'm scared I'll forget how I feel.

@Fuzzyhippo are you keeping your pregnancy? I'm sorry I just don't think I can because I feel like it's a disability for me...the emotional side is horrific. I can't look after my kids or feed them or hold them. I'm just writing all this down so I remember.

@Fuzzyhippo what's a late term medical? Is it a termination? If so at how many weeks?

Have you sought out your GP for medications? What did you take on your previous pregnancies?

I really don't know at the moment as my partner of 6 years has abandoned me and I'm currently living at home in a domestic abuse situation, as well as being so sick constantly. It's all a bit of a mess. And late term medical is using the tablets instead of the surgical method. Usually they won't do it past 9 weeks so had to travel 300 miles to a hospital that would do it. I run a sanctuary for over 100 animals and I can't look after them properly, it's actual torture

Forgot to mention I was 17 weeks. Have you spoken to bpas yet? I was thinking of calling them tonight but my head is a mess

@Fuzzyhippo , I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a bad time.

Can I ask if you are living in England ? If you are, and your family are being abusive to you, then as a domestic violence victim , you have an automatic right to emergency accommodation from your council , ( regardless of whether you are pregnant or not, and regardless of whether your family are "allowing," you to stay or not, you are entitled to accommodation, as you should not have to live with violence).

I hope these links may be helpful.

england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/homelessness_applications/homelessness_and_threatened_homelessness/homelessness_due_to_violence_or_domestic_abuse

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/homelessness/priority_need/at_risk_of_domestic_abuse

You can approach your council's local homelessness department directly, or if you are feeling vulnerable, ask your local Citizen's Advice for help in obtaining emergency accomadation:
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/contact-us/search-for-your-local-citizens-advice/

@PinkyU unfortunately the medications didn't work. Doctor told me to go to a and e and be asked to put on a drip but I didn't go because my toddler needed me at the time. This was during my second pregnancy. First pregnancy I was in bed all day all 9 months.

@Fuzzyhippo aww hun I'm so sorry do u have any children? With my first it was really bad, with my second it was worse and now the third time I can't cope. It feels like im having contractions when i vomit! I've contacted BPAS (hope I got that right) I'm just waiting for them to get back to me so that we can talk and they can send some pills. I feel like a baby killer or a terrible mother. But it's not my fault. I hope god listens to me and looks after this baby. It's not that I don't want it. It's just I can't do my duty to it and it's siblings. It's too much pain. I sometimes feel like I will die. Sorry for the emotional rant.

I remember lying in bed at 3 months pregnant with my planned baby and wondering if termination was the better option. My other child was 4 so needed less help. Medication reduced my vomiting to only 4 times a day or so but I felt sick constantly. I stuck it out but it was the most miserable time of my life. I have a friend who had an unplanned 3rd pregnancy and terminated because she just couldn't take the physical and emotional toll of hyperemesis for a 3rd time.

It is NOT your fault. This is an impossible situation and you have to put yourself first because this simply doesn't sound like something you can put yourself through.

Bpas don't do funding in my area....

I've just found out they don't in mine either, maybe call MSI Choices as I know they've taken over a lot of the areas. Although I've been trying to get hold of them, sent emails and spent 4 hours trying to get through to them yesterday. Haven't eaten in 2 days because I'm so sick. I don't know what to do!! Just seen your last post, you are absolutely not a terrible mother, you're doing what's right for you and your babies. I have a 6yr old at holiday club this week but it's so difficult not having the energy around him. I'm going to try getting hold of MSI again, my doctors don't do referalls anymore so if I can't get hold of them soon I'll probably be past the gestation for medical

Definitely give MSI or NUPAS a call if BPAS isn't an option.💐

Thank you you guys.

@Fuzzyhippo I went to a and e and got an anti sickness injection and some pills. Is that something you could do? I told them about how I was feeling and my urine showed I've got an infection too. It was a long wait btw but the injection has made me a little better.

I rang MSI and opted for their callback service. They rang me back and gave me an appointment. If that's something you can do?

I've got some anti sickness tablets and so far so good but still got the nausea. I remember with my last pregnancy I had a uti and it was awful, I had HG with that one too so I wonder if there's a link? I'm glad you're feeling better though even just a few hours of some kind of normality really helps doesn't it, can actually get some housework done! I managed to get through to them and have a phone consultation on Tuesday, but then have to wait for the actual appointment which will be done on the phone as well. Seems like such a long wait

@fuzzy hippo that's good to hear.

The moment the tablets wear off I am back to feeling shakey, dizzy and sick. Otherwise with the medicine I felt like a normal functioning human. My husband said how can you decide to terminate when you're so fit and well in one day. I told him only I know how I feel.

I've just learnt about the the violent vomiting because it is just that. It's projectile vomiting and I think in my last pregnancy I've built up so much trauma that the thought of vomiting brings on hysterical crying.

I want to end my pregnancy. Part of me thinks if Kate Middleton can do it a third time why can't I. But I've not got staff to look after my other children and I can't stay in hospital. Just want to tell everyone you're so brave for continuing and you're so brave if you've decided to end it. It is a hell of its own.

You poor thing. I had HG with my second child and absolutely would not go through it again. People who haven't had it or had a partner with it wouldn't understand. I feel like I missed most of 6 months of my older child's life. I am still traumatized. It was the worst thing I've ever had to endure.

Like you I now get hysterical when I'm going to throw up. I recently had norovirus and cried my eyes out for two days. Then I felt really depressed and unsettled for about a week - I'm sure there is so much unprocessed trauma from my last pregnancy.

Whatever you decide will be right for you. I'm just so sorry for you! Hope you get more drips and antisickness jabs to keep you going.

@Orcasmom thank you so much that means alot.

I'm not having a lot of luck with the termination clinics. Had an appointment today and no one called me. Rang to query and booking hadn't been made even though I got a text message! I've booked another tomorrow. Apparently they won't let u pick up the pills from the clinics at this one. I'm dreading how much longer I'll have to wait.