Pregnant 2 months after abortion

[Rose925]

I find myself in a predicament again !!
I had a termination which I heavily regret but I had my reasons . I’ve met a lovely guy very soon after even though I wasn’t looking for anything, but we ended up together and I’ve never been happier . I found out I was pregnant yesterday , I automatically felt guilt because of the termination I had and that it should be that baby , he’s being very supportive whatever I choose to do .
Abortion really isn’t in my path this time but at the same time I’m super scared about being pregnant so soon and the big changes that will happen , but the fact I’m with such a supportive man really helps .
Has anyone else been in this situation ? I really feel like I should be happy about it but I find myself freaking out and thinking about terminating but it’s just fear talking x

She may not be a girl, point stands though, my thoughts too tbh

Wow. He’s very new as in 8 weeks. You need to talk to him not us about it. He may choose to stick around he may not but I’d be prepared for him not too whether he’s supportive now or not. Terminations aren’t a form of contraception and it’s disgusting if people use it as one.

Do you want to be a single mum? Do you have a secure housing, a stable income, supportive family or friends? How will you feel if this very new bloke bails and you’re on your own?

Are you considering another abortion?

So sick of these boards being full of girls who use abortion as a contraception when so many people struggle with respect one person aborting their baby doesn't have any bearing/ implications for the person who is struggling to conceive, there arent a set amount of babies allowed to be created a year.

I too am surprised at the vast number of people seeking abortions. When contraception is freely available and sex education is taught in schools from an early age. These factors seem to have done nothing to encourage people to avoid unwanted pregnancies. And if you don't want to get pregnant then don't have sex without contraception.

@Phrenologistsfinger

FGS. I am running back to the infertility boards before I say something horrible.

I agree. I'm joining you

You’ve known him 5 minutes. If you choose termination make sure you have an implant or coil fitted

Were you using contraception ?

Whatever you decide, do it from the perspective of going it alone. The relationship is very, very new and while this man may be saying the right things now, sadly the odds are against you.

Don’t base a decision on the relationship, base it on whether or not you want a child, and can do it on your own if it comes to that.

Also, please look into STD checks as you’ve been having unprotected sex.

I’m surprised by the replies on this thread

I’ve seen 6/7/8 threads about people who’ve fallen pregnant straight after an abortion and most Dont get this kinds of replies.

Anyway. Yes. Please for future purposes. Do get your contraception sorted.

Did you both have an STD test etc beforehand?

I wish you all the very best.

@Tillymintpolo

You’ve known him 5 minutes. If you choose termination make sure you have an implant or coil fitted

I got pregnant on the coil. It was an ectopic pregnancy and I nearly died from it as I didn't know I was pregnant so didn't seek medical attention until it was almost too late. There's no completely foolproof method of contraception, I'm afraid. Things do happen.

OP, what has happened here isn't ideal. You're still emotionally vulnerable following the abortion two months ago and your relationship with this chap is very new. That said, if he's saying he wants to support you then you never know, this might be your chance. That said, get your ducks in a row and make sure you can raise this child alone if this fellah does decide to bail. Remember, whatever he says now may be completely different in 7-8 months time when you're clearly heavily pregnant and things all start getting very real for him.

Wishing you the best of luck whatever you decide to do.

Good luck op. Take care of yourself. Sounds like a bit of a rollercoxxy

Rollercoaster!*

(Dropped my phone!)

Wow these messages are VILE !! You women should be ashamed of yourselves .
For abit if background information I was due to have the coil fitted next week ( the wait was horrifically long to get an appointment ) we have been careful and I took the MAP to be on the safe side . I’m not irresponsible at all . Because a lot of you have fertility issues ( and I’m sorry about that ) you feel like you can bash women who seem to fall pregnant ? Please tell me the logic here .
People come into these boards when they are in a bad troubled place and need support . This site after reading this thread has made me sick to my stomach .
Just for background info I’m 29 , own 2 houses & have 2 businesses . Before you start thinking I’m some jobless claimant !!

Thankyou for anyone who’s been impartial and kind xx

Are you prepared to be a single mum? If so, congratulations on your pregnancy :) if not, don't expect this guy to stick around and be a good father. He might, but you have literally no way of knowing whether he will or not as you barely know him. Don't plan anything around assumptions about how he will behave.

Why aren’t you using contraception (barrier or hormonal method)? You say you took the MAP. How long after sex did you take it? You’ve known this man for a couple of weeks. You don’t know him so how can he be supportive? You sound really immature and you’re several years older than me! Are you mature enough to be a mother?

I’ve been friends with this guy for almost 2 years before we started to date ? So it’s safe to say I know his character fairly well.
. I cannot take long term hormonal contraceptives due to medication I’m on . My only option is the copper coil which I was waiting on getting fitted. (Which I had for years
Previously during my 8 year relationship - they have a 9-10 year shelf life so I guess it was running it’s course) I had a 18 month break from dating and what comes with it , I honestly thought it would still be effective) I had it removed as an emergency due to falling pregnant in August it needed removing .

Did you get a negative test after the termination? I'm just wondering if this is a new pregnancy given that you were careful? It would be worth getting a scan asap so you can be sure this is a pregnancy and not an indication of some material remaining from the previous pregnancy,

@Northernlurker I had a faint positive with the test I received after the termination, which they said was sometimes normal to happen. So I left it at that as I had a light period come 5 weeks post . So I thought I was out of the woods with the whole ‘incomplete ‘ issues .
This tests I took in the last week were faint too so it makes sense.
I will ring the clinic I went with today to get this looked into .
Thankyou

You need to make sure the man uses a condom for all future sexual encounters.

@Rose925 that's a good plan. It needs checking. The 'period' could have been bleeding due to remaining material too. Hope that all goes well for you.

@Rose925 OP, don't be hard on yourself this stuff happens in life and you've not done anything wrong (it's not like you've robbed a bank!) take time to think through what you would like to do, I completely understand where you are coming from with the friend relationship before the romantic relationship with your DP and if he is willing to support you that is amazing!

Take some time to sleep on it and don't let anybody make you feel bad about your situation, stuff happens thats life!! We are lucky we have the women's health services that we have in the U.K and they're here for reasons like this.

You do need to think about this rationally now and not go on the defensive. You have had 2 contraception failures in 2 months with two different men. That doesn't scream failure it screams irresponsible. This is a choice that will affect your whole life. Maybe speak to a counsellor about your abortion guilt and the new pregnancy and decide from there.

@ShaneTheThird I’m not going on the defence , I’m letting people know in detail the situation as when I talk about it briefly I’m having my character pulled apart ( which is stuff that isn’t me at all ! )
I only started dating again in may after a 18 month break from men completely after my long term relationship ended.

@Rose925 just wanted to say im here to support. I cant belive all the coments about contraception. Contraception is not as easy to get as some may think! Some girls find it hard to find contraception that works for them and agrees with their body and due to the pandemic doctors appointments to get contraception sorted is difficult! The doctors are not always understanding/easy to talk to, the doctor i saw at my 6 week check after having my little boy prescribed me the depo to inject myself at home and i wasant confident enough to speak up and say im not comftable with doing that!