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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Original poster

Pregnant 2 months after abortion

62 replies

Rose925 · 29/11/2021 20:34

I find myself in a predicament again !!
I had a termination which I heavily regret but I had my reasons . I’ve met a lovely guy very soon after even though I wasn’t looking for anything, but we ended up together and I’ve never been happier . I found out I was pregnant yesterday , I automatically felt guilt because of the termination I had and that it should be that baby , he’s being very supportive whatever I choose to do .
Abortion really isn’t in my path this time but at the same time I’m super scared about being pregnant so soon and the big changes that will happen , but the fact I’m with such a supportive man really helps .
Has anyone else been in this situation ? I really feel like I should be happy about it but I find myself freaking out and thinking about terminating but it’s just fear talking x

OP posts:
Marianne1234 · 29/11/2021 20:35

I mean. Sort out your contraception, probably. Can I ask, what’s different this time than two months ago? This man must be very very new on the scene. Is he the reason?

2typesofjungle · 29/11/2021 20:38

Whatever you decide, it's got to be your decision, this guy has only been on the scene for ten minutes so you don't know if he's going to stick around.

Pegasussnail · 29/11/2021 20:40

It's only a matter of weeks that you've been with your new partner so I wouldn't base my decision on him but on your gut feeling towards the pregnancy and can you do it on your own.

Original poster
Rose925 · 29/11/2021 21:01

I didn’t come on here for negativity ….

OP posts:
2typesofjungle · 29/11/2021 21:39

I wasn't trying to be negative, more realistic than anything. You've got to make this choice for yourself.

romdowa · 29/11/2021 21:44

@Marianne1234

I mean. Sort out your contraception, probably. Can I ask, what’s different this time than two months ago? This man must be very very new on the scene. Is he the reason?
She's pregnant now , so what good is contraception 🤣 bit of a dumb comment to be fair when she's said that she doesnt want an abortion this time.
Spongeboob · 29/11/2021 21:51

It's not negativity it's being realistic. What's changed so drastically in the last two months? Sorry OP but this is so irresponsible.

Viviennemary · 29/11/2021 23:17

Its not great being pregnant by somebody you have only known a few weeks. How does this man feel about you having an abortion only two months ago. Still is up to the two of you and your attitude towards this and not up to folk on here.

Theplantisgrowing · 29/11/2021 23:20

I am definitely pro choice but honestly.....

cruffin · 29/11/2021 23:24

How old are you?

AthenaPopodopolous · 29/11/2021 23:24

Congratulations and keep your baby this time. And try not to feel guilty over the termination last time. Your in a new relationship and the father will support you. And if he changes his mind to hell with him. You’ll be fine with your new baby either way.

ulstermourne · 30/11/2021 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 30/11/2021 00:39

I find myself in a predicament again !!

Well, if you keep doing the same thing, you'll keep ending up in the same place.

I reported the now deleted post because it was vile, but honestly, how about learning from your mistakes. Presumably you understand about conception & contraception?

pennysays · 30/11/2021 00:44

Hi OP.

Well done for opening up and thinking about this. You have to remember that the termination you had made sense at that point in your life. Your life is not the same, you’re closer to this person and trust them more. If it feels like the right time then go for it. Make sure you know that you can raise a child on your own - it’s a risk no matter when you got together with your partner.

Enjoy what you have now, a lovely pregnancy with a man you like a lot. Don’t worry about what happened before, it was the right decision for you at the right time.

Marianne1234 · 30/11/2021 08:06

Your life is not the same

It was two months ago. She doesn’t know this guy. Let’s be real here.

Babyiskickingmyribs · 30/11/2021 08:21

OP, you’re very early on in this pregnancy. So give yourself a couple of weeks to commit to your decision. Have a think about all the practicalities. Discuss these with new man, but also have a private think about how you will handle things if you split up with him. All pregnant women kind of have to do this because even well established couples sometimes break up during pregnancy or soon after a baby is born, but it’s true that you have less experience and info to go on with a new relationship like this one.
It sounds like definitely leaning towards keeping the baby and that you’re excited about it. That’s great. If you start feeling more like this is too soon and too much and that you’re not sure you want to parent with new man, that’s ok too.
Whatever you’re using as a contraception method clearly isn’t working for you, so immediately after this pregnancy finishes (whether you choose to terminate or to have the baby) you really do need to sort something that fits you and your life better so you can feel more in control.

nimbuscloud · 30/11/2021 08:26

Hopefully the father will be supportive and remain so always.

WarrickDavisAsPlates · 30/11/2021 09:49

I don't think it'd that unusual to fall pregnant shortly after having an abortion and I certainly would be in no position to judge you on that (I fell pregnant with DD about 6 months after having an abortion I didn't want)

If you are going to continue with this pregnancy you need to be prepared to raise the baby on your own as you are in a new relationship so you can't really know how your boyfriend will react to fatherhood.

Maybe look into counselling to help you come to terms with your mixed feelings about your abortion and current pregnancy.

drpet49 · 30/11/2021 10:01

* It's not negativity it's being realistic. What's changed so drastically in the last two months? Sorry OP but this is so irresponsible.*

^This. You have known this guys for a few weeks! Get real.

Phrenologistsfinger · 30/11/2021 10:13

FGS. I am running back to the infertility boards before I say something horrible.

Belinda61 · 30/11/2021 10:50

As a pp mentioned, take a bit of time to think properly about your decision. I had a termination 6 months ago and not a day goes by without me wanting to be pregnant again. I know it's an absolutely terrible idea, but my heart (hormones?) won't drop it. Just check in with yourself that this wasn't a knee jerk reaction to your feelings about the last termination.

If you do decide to continue with the pregnancy, make sure it's something you want to/can do as a single parent as the relationship is so new. But saying that, any couple can split up, my DH left me when I was 8 weeks pregnant with our third child after 11 years of marriage.

Wishing you every happiness whichever way you go.

LiquidSodaCrystal · 30/11/2021 10:53

Well, you regretted your decision so tried to undo it I guess. Be honest with yourself about that.

Realistically you are likely to end up on your own. Plan for that and make the best of things. Good luck!

NatriumChloride · 30/11/2021 11:00

How careless and irresponsible! You only had a termination two months ago and now you’re pregnant again with a boyfriend who has been around for the last ten minutes.

Do you not understand how contraception works? Or did you deliberately mean to fall pregnant? How old are you?

If you want to keep this baby, then make plans to go it alone. You have no idea how things will actually work with this new guy. And maybe consider some form of foolproof contraception like the implant OP

FreeBritnee · 30/11/2021 11:02

You can’t choose termination as a birth control. That’s why people are being tetchy in their replies. You need to decide what you are going to do and then make sure you use contraception correctly afterwards.

BabyLove22 · 30/11/2021 16:48

So sick of these boards being full of girls who use abortion as a contraception when so many people struggle. Stop fucking having sex if you're going to have an abortion every 2 months or use a condom or get on one of the many FREE contraceptions available? Grow up.