So, er, is this a line?

[Whatalota]

Period was due yesterday. Just done a cheap test and this appeared.

So, blue is Bob, red is joe. Green was the first day of my last period

My guess would be Bob but sperm can live for a while inside you. So Joe is a possibility.

I'm so sorry OP, I'm afraid it could be either of them.

Did you have any slip ups with taking the pill at any point, or other stuff which could affect it? I'm just wondering if you knew there was a certain day when you something happened then you might be able to tell when you ovulated?

Joe was a one off and we were already friends so I feel like I could approach him more easily. He already has kids too, I’d a bit older, so may not freak out as much, especially if I tell him that it’s unlikely his. I’m trying to sugar-coat this. I know! Forgive me, I’m in a panic

@Noodella18 nothing that I can remember

Quick Google, prenatal paternity test is £800 and available from 7 weeks... if you can afford it then maybe you can hang on til then?

Forgive me, I’m in a panic

Then don't talk to either of them yet!

As PPs have said, give yourself some time and space to process it first.

Especially important given that you've acknowledged how influential Bob's reaction to the news would be on how you feel about it!

It really depends on your cycle. I ovulate early always. So every time I have gotten pregnant it has been 8-9 days post period start. If your cycle is similar to mine then Joe would be most likely.

Saying this most women ovulate later, and Bob would be a more likely candidate for that.

The only way to really know is a DNA test.

Maybe you sho ask fir this to be moved to Pregnancy Choices. Most posters in here would love to see that line.

@Littlechickenlegs that’s a good idea. When I first posted I was in a bit of a state. How do I ask for it to be moved?

@Noodella18

Some people on here seem very sure that they know what Bob wants/thinks/feels without knowing him...!

OP you know Bob best, so do what feels right in your gut - none of us on this thread know your relationship with him or what he wants. I thought the script you wrote below sounds very reasonable and a good starting point. Totally understand that feeling of needing to get something off your chest.

It might be best to figure out how likely it is that it's the other guy's first though. What days did you sleep with Bob and what days with the other guy?

Well I think it's fairly likely that Bob isn't going to jumping up down with joy when he hears about Joe, and it would be bloody horrific to mislead him and make him think he's definitely the father, especially when he's only 26 and not in a serious relationship with OP.

I mean I might be wrong and he might say don't worry I don't mind that you slept with Joe, I'll raise the baby as my own anyway. But it's not exactly likely. Not at this early stage at least.

You need to stop panicking about telling Bob and calm down. If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy it's not going to make any difference if the father knows about it today or in a few weeks. It's very very early days and you don't even know if you want to have a baby. Also lots of pregnancies fail to progress at this stage (chemical
Pregnancy/early miscarrie etc)
You need to think about what is best for any potential new baby.

Were you using birth control with either partner? I am sure you must have mentioned this but I missed it in your posts.

Nothing wrong at all about sleeping with two guys but I hope you have them a heads up. It's unfair not to have told them in case they would want to know re STDs. (I guess COVID too 🙄)
You seem more concerned with this guys possible reaction than the fact you are potentially going to give birth to another child.
I understand it's a very emotional situation but I don't think you are doing anyone any favours by being so reactive

[quote Whatalota]@Littlechickenlegs that’s a good idea. When I first posted I was in a bit of a state. How do I ask for it to be moved?[/quote]
Swipe on one of your posts to the right and click 'report'.

I’ve asked for it to be moved. Very sorry if I’ve upset anyone.

Take some time to decide what you want. Before your tell anyone else.

Stop and think for a minute OP!!

You need time to think what you want and not second guessing what you think others want.

Even if 'dad' was happy you could easily end up a single mum. What is it you want.

I saw this and agree with a lot of people, I know it's been said already but you need to think of you first. Do you want a baby? If you assume he wouldn't want a serious relationship and you would be doing it on your own would you be ok with that?

It took both of you to make a baby so once you decide what you want his reaction (while it would obviously affect you) shouldn't change your mind about your decision. You said you're worried it will ruin his life, he isnt a child, he knows that sex can lead to a baby so will have to be an adult and deal with the consequences. Please just make sure you are doing what is right for you before you let anyone else's reaction influence you.

Good luck 💕

That was a long night of broken sleep, strange dreams and night sweats.
I’m so torn. On the one hand, this is likely to be my last chance to have a baby, I love being a new mum. I get a little flutter of excitement thinking about it. But then I sway the other way. Can I do this on my own? Will my mental health cope with this? How will my DC be effected

I’m going to say it’s bobs too. Hope your ok x

Just wanted to say think about both sides of how you could feel about terminating too....I deeply regret mine but I know plenty who haven’t x

I’m so torn. I’m starting to ‘feel’ pregnant now. It’s baby number 3 so I’m familiar with what to expect.
I’ve got a phone appointment with a clinic next week, but I’m also waiting for my GP to call back so I can get the ball rolling that side too as my pregnancies are very high risk

@Mummyto3GBG this is a huge fear of mine. The regret. I know myself and know I’ll always regret it, be aware of milestones for the baby. I’m so sorry you went through that x

I’m going to say it’s bobs too.

The balance of probability is that it's Bob's, but there's a very real chance that it's not. The consequences of that chance are way too significant to cover it up, even if the probability is lower.The timing is too close to decide on timing alone. You cannot lead Bob throughout a pregnancy to believe that it's his child when you know of the chance that it's not, because of the potentially devastating impact on everyone involved. If OP keeps the baby she will have to be honest and do paternity testing.

Thanks so much for all your comments. Really appreciate all your replies xx