Abortion at home- petrified

[jellybeansandgin]

Hi, not really sure what I am hoping for by asking for help here. I am having a phone consultation with BPAS tomorrow to start a medical termination. I have been back and forth between keeping baby and having an abortion but ultimately we cannot have another and termination is the only option. I know everyone says it but I never thought I would be in this position. The guilt of the abortion, along with the panic and worry of the pain, bleeding of the abortion itself. I am an absolute wreck. Has anyone been through the medical abortion recently that could share how you got on? I know it will be emotional. I am more concerned about the physical side of things and how I will cope. Thank you xx

@Hardcoresoftie

Interesting read, in Scotland for years we've always been allowed to do it from home though. I had retained products and it was well managed by the aftercare team so I'm assuming that will also be in place for the rest of the UK.

@Hardcoresoftie why do you think your post was in anyway helpful? All Christian or Prolife sources is not factual, helpful or impartial.

@Hardcoresoftie I think sharing the link would have been enough - that way the OP could have chosen to click and read. Copying and pasting into the thread as you did really stinks of you pushing your agenda and cannot see how an empathetic, compassionate human could have done so. You should be ashamed.

I had a medical abortion at home a few years ago at about 7 weeks. It was absolutely fine. I had cramping for a few hours but it was completely bearable, then bled for about another week.

I had built it up in my head to this massive thing and was really stressed about it but in the end, it all went really smoothly. I'm not in the UK but I am sure there is someone you can call if you feel worried at any point.

Hi folks

We're moving this over to pregnancy choices now.

Can we bear in mind that our job is to listen and support the OP, who has made up their mind. Thanks.

Oh and just to add that you will always find horror stories because people are more likely to talk about it when things go wrong. Lots of lots of women have medical abortions every day that pass without issue.

Furthermore, @Hardcoresoftie, I think sharing two anti abortion sites on a thread such as this is pretty disgusting, actually.

@AlohaMolly thank you. I am aware abortion is a difficult subject for most and I am sure my decision will upset and anger some people and go against their beliefs. I am a big girl and I can deal with a difference of opinion but like you say copying and pasting details is a scare tactic and not a nice thing to look at. However, the majority of people on here have been supportive and understanding. Which speaks volumes!! Xx

@Aloethere thank you for sharing your experience. It seems to be a common one for people to say it was upsetting and of course not pleasant but manageable and not the stuff of sheer nightmares which is what I am imagining right now. I completely agree in that for most people who have a straightforward experience they wouldn’t usually run off to a forum to chat about it. I know for me I will update this thread and be honest in how I find it, as that is what I came looking for when I posted the questions. So hopefully if one good thing can come out of this, it’s that others who find themselves in this position can see they are not alone xx

I wasn't actually thinking about adoption in your circumstances. From your first post I thought meant you didn't want to go through with it so was saying you didn't have to if you didn't want to. But you could find a way to manage. Hope everything works out. Just make sure it's the right decision for you.

Hi OP I had the tablets for a MMC. Same process I'm guessing though. I read many things about what to expect but I found it excruciatingly painful. I can't lie. They gave me morphine. I was in agony for about 3 hours. Foetus was only 7 weeks so I thought it would be ok. I had the tablets in hospital. I don't want to worry you, I'm sure you will be fine. No idea why it was so bad for me. It all came out as one mass, not sure exactly as the mass was made of as obvious foetus would be tiny at that point. As soon as I passed it, the pain disappeared. Stock up on everything you can to help you and I hope it all goes ok

@Hardcoresoftie
But it's not new?
As I said above woman in Scotland have been able to have an abortion at home and unsipervised since around 2017 if I'm remembering correctly. Yes it's not been many years but it's been long enough for them to verify that it's actually okay to do. It's like any medical procedure, you will get people who have issues with it, which could happen in and out of hospital.
I'm guessing you've never had to have one yourself either so although you are very much entitled to your view I think being a bit more tactile about it would be far more appropriate.

I had one at 6 weeks about 8 years ago OP, also at home. For me it started the same day as 2nd tablet. It was like moderate period cramps, and very like a heavy period. I used normal sanitary towels , about one every 2 hours for a day or two. I was really scared as I knew no one else who had experienced it , but I found it to be completely bearable. It was absolutely the right decision for me so no emotional struggle

I had my medical abortion last week and it honestly wasn't as bad as I was expecting.
Tuesday I took tablet one, I also took pepto bismol to avoid any nausea.
Wednesday, I inserted the first four tablets internally and just relaxed on the sofa. Cramping started after about an hour and grew stronger over the next hour. I went to the toilet and realised when I wiped that it was starting.

About an hour later I got really strong cramps and felt a bit nauseous so that's when I had a hot water bottle and a ginger tea, I needed the toilet so I went and that was when I passed the pregnancy. The cramps eased up a bit after that and it felt like a bad period. The cramps persisted on and off for a few days. I'm a week on now and all pregnancy symptoms have gone and I'm feeling good.

@Hardcoresoftie Anti abortion websites are not a source of unbiased information, their agenda is to scare women and prevent them from accessing medical care they deem best for themselves. It has no place in a support thread.

OP: please don’t beat yourself up and feel guilty, you being pregnant and not wanting to be has absolutely no bearing on another women who may be struggling to get pregnant. Each individual has the right to do what’s best for them, in their own individual circumstances. If an abortion is right for you then it’s right, it doesn’t matter what anyone else would think or do. Please be kinder to yourself.

In regards to pain it does vary from women to women, depending a lot on pain tolerance. I didn’t find it overly painful, more like a heavy period, but that’s my experience, not that of everyone. I have to say that being at home does mean you can find comfort in your home environment, and gives you control over many aspects of the process. I preferred it with mine, I was able to make myself comfortable in my ‘safe place’.

Not recent, but 10+y ago. In those days you had to travel to the clinic and take tablet there, then travel home. Everything was ok until we got stuck in the traffic on the way home and I started bleeding and experiencing pain. It was painful and awful. Felt better immediately after reaching my own bed and painkillers.
I would describe pain as quite bad period pain, which did not last long.

@Hardcoresoftie

I know exactly what I’m saying. Don’t overplay a
minority of cases in an attempt to manipulate and fear monger at someone in a vulnerable position. It’s not right at any time, but it’s especially not right to do it in a support thread, made by someone who has made her decision.

Also, to put it in context, childbirth is a lot more likely to result in injury, complications and even death (14 times more likely to result in death than abortion is, actually), yet I don’t suppose you’re inclined to highlight that in any interest of ‘fairness’.

@Hardcoresoftie

*you’re

If you don’t like the topic, you’re not obliged to stay on this particular board 😊