Big fat hand hold please - termination

[bornninthe80s]

Hi all. I posted on here yesterday worrying about whether I could go through with my second pregnancy (I'm 40 and have an almost 2 year old, and have some past MH issues).

Had some amazingly supportive replies and am so grateful for that. My husband and I talked into the hours about things and as time has been passing, I've been getting more moments of "I could do this".

But everything came crashing down today when I went to an early scan and found out it's fraternal twins. Going from two to three is a ridiculous game changer and I can't see how I can continue with the pregnancy.

My (first and so far only) DC was born at 34+6 (no idea why but I had a low papp-a result which resulted in a CVS at 13 weeks) and still sleeps on a breathing monitor (just to give you an idea of how paranoid I am) - I spent most of the first year terrified of SIDS.

Obviously since seeing the scan I wish with everything that it was a singleton pregnancy as is sort of wrapped my head around that. But I'm already researching all the risks of twins and know that having 3 under 3 would be the breaking of me (even if all of us survived the pregnancy and birth).

Having a surgical termination in a couple of weeks and I'm just beside myself. If anyone can help that would be amazing. I can't talk to my mum about this and I really want to

Glad to hear you are staying strong and not in too much physical pain.

Absolutely not morally wrong to try again if you decide that’s what you want to do!

Realised I didn't explain I have two sisters. Older one has been through this and it's the younger who lives with my mum (who my mum uses in the argument about my choice). Just felt like I needed to clear that up x

Sent you a PM op x

Thank you @Babs709 it's amazing to feel so unjudged xx

So glad you are doing okay, OP. Please use this space to talk, we are all here for you and holding hands 💕

Hope you are doing ok OP x

Thanks @KylieKangaroo - I'm doing well. I told myself when I made the decision (whichever it was going to be) that I would make peace with it straight away and that seems to be working so far. I've got a post-termination counselling call tomorrow so am hoping that goes well.

X

How are you both doing? Hope you are okay and through the worst now

Hey @KylieKangaroo

I'm doing well - thanks so much for checking in. Although my DD is only 2 so currently most of my antenatal group are announcing their second pregnancies, so that's pretty difficult to bear! I would have been announcing mine next week if it was a single pregnancy. But c'est la vie xx