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Pregnancy choices

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Abortion trauma

56 replies

banksy3245 · 17/04/2020 09:29

I had an abortion on the 22nd January, I really wanted to keep the baby but the circumstances I was in, wouldn't let me.

It took me a very long time to come to a decision to have an abortion, for me the pros outweighed the cons more. However, I had to take into consideration my partners circumstances. We had only been dating for 2 months at the time when I fell pregnant, he comes from a family where finances are difficult at the moment. We both are at uni (I'm graduating in July) and he's starting back uni in September. We weren't in the right position to bring up a child. Although I can type this now, it's not how I'm feeling internally!

My abortion experience was very traumatic, I had to travel all the way to BPAS in Doncaster to get a late medical abortion (never had surgery so was too scared to have the surgical abortion). After my consultation (which was elsewhere) when I went to Doncaster, I was told I'd have to give birth to my baby. I was given 24 hours to come to terms with this! They didn't inform me that I'd have to give birth to him, I had to take 1 pill on the first day & the following day I had to go into the clinic again and stay overnight in which I endured the most painful experience of my life. I got there for 5pm and didn't give birth into 1:22am (tablets were inserted through my vagina). The pain was unbearable, they had to put a shot in my leg (which made me feel very sleepy).

I heard my baby drop in the bucket. Sad

After this procedure I had milk coming out my breasts, I bled for 19 days in total (non-stop) and I couldn't poo for those 19 days (it was too painful)

It was such a traumatic experience for me, I decided to go for counselling & then I got referred to a therapist. Because of the Coronavirus the sessions have been cancelled now.

Has anyone gone through something similar? How do you get over the loss of your baby? Because I never think I will, I regret it so much!

OP posts:
banksy3245 · 17/04/2020 16:30

Thank you for your response @ScarletFever

I feel guilty because abortion isn't something I believe in myself. (My circumstances) However, I do believe it is a woman's choice what she does with her body. This experience made me realise, you don't know what you'd do until you're actually in that situation.

The only place that does late medical abortions is BPAS in Doncaster (this is what I was told). The reason why I didn't have the surgical one was because I've never had surgery before, only me and my boyfriend were the ones that knew at time. I hadn't told my family, he hadn't told his. I suffer with anxiety, so the way I was thinking was 'i could die'. It scared me that I'd be put to sleep, I preferred to be awake so I could see what was being done and at least I'd know I'm still alive.

It was the BPAS in Luton that failed to inform me.

OP posts:
Saranvenya · 17/04/2020 16:30

I was a abortion counsellor for years and know if you give Marie Stopes a call then you should be able to get a 1 off counselling session, they may also be able to point you in the direction of a counsellor who may be able to give you the support you need via phone/Skype.
Banksy you deserve empathy and understanding so take no notice of the negative posts.

june2007 · 17/04/2020 16:54

Def get councselling, and also focus on why you made your choice in the first place.

banksy3245 · 17/04/2020 17:42

Thank you @Saranvenya

OP posts:
vampirethriller · 17/04/2020 19:21

If you click the three little dots in the bottom right corner of my reply here I think you should have a pm option come up.

vpx2 · 17/04/2020 22:21

That sounds like an incredibly traumatic experience. I think it is rediculous that they didn't explain what would happen at the original consultation! Putting you in that position. I hope you can get the support you need.

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