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Abortion trauma

2 replies

banksy3245 · 17/04/2020 09:29

I had an abortion on the 22nd January, I really wanted to keep the baby but the circumstances I was in, wouldn't let me.

It took me a very long time to come to a decision to have an abortion, for me the pros outweighed the cons more. However, I had to take into consideration my partners circumstances. We had only been dating for 2 months at the time when I fell pregnant, he comes from a family where finances are difficult at the moment. We both are at uni (I'm graduating in July) and he's starting back uni in September. We weren't in the right position to bring up a child. Although I can type this now, it's not how I'm feeling internally!

My abortion experience was very traumatic, I had to travel all the way to BPAS in Doncaster to get a late medical abortion (never had surgery so was too scared to have the surgical abortion). After my consultation (which was elsewhere) when I went to Doncaster, I was told I'd have to give birth to my baby. I was given 24 hours to come to terms with this! They didn't inform me that I'd have to give birth to him, I had to take 1 pill on the first day & the following day I had to go into the clinic again and stay overnight in which I endured the most painful experience of my life. I got there for 5pm and didn't give birth into 1:22am (tablets were inserted through my vagina). The pain was unbearable, they had to put a shot in my leg (which made me feel very sleepy).

I heard my baby drop in the bucket. Sad

After this procedure I had milk coming out my breasts, I bled for 19 days in total (non-stop) and I couldn't poo for those 19 days (it was too painful)

It was such a traumatic experience for me, I decided to go for counselling & then I got referred to a therapist. Because of the Coronavirus the sessions have been cancelled now.

Has anyone gone through something similar? How do you get over the loss of your baby? Because I never think I will, I regret it so much!

JoMumsnet · 17/04/2020 11:17

Hi banksy3245,

We hope you don't mind but we're going to move your thread over to our Pregnancy Choices topic as we feel that's a better place for it.

We're so sorry you've been through such a traumatic time. Flowers

LouMumsnet · 17/04/2020 12:38

Thanks for the reports about this thread, which seems to have veered pretty far from the OP's original intention - to receive support and advice from other MNers who've experienced the kind of trauma she's been through.

We're pretty sure that she didn't intend on upsetting anyone when she posted in the wrong topic and, to be clear, we moved the thread as soon as we were made aware of the issue. That said, we're really sorry that some MNers were understandably upset after reading it when it appeared unexpectedly in the wrong topic. Flowers

As you've probably noticed, we've had to delete a fair few posts which simply weren't in the spirit of Mumsnet and we'd now like to ask everyone to keep our Talk Guidelines in mind when posting on the thread.

Thanks to those who've posted with support and advice, which we're sure is much appreciated.

Peace and love.

Flowers
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