Married and want an abortion

[Notreadymightneverbe]

Hi guys I NCd for this in case my situation is recognisable.

I'm almost 33, been married for 3 years and I'm pregnant by accident. I'm on the pill amd have taken it religiously, so i have no idea how.

I'm devastated. I never wanted to be pregnant, i hadn't ruled out a family 100% but i have no interest in bearing children. I suppose i haven't ruled it out in the same way you can never say you won't one day fall in love with someone of the same sex. Or can never say 'oh my husband would never cheat'. Or can never imagine yourself losing your job and becoming homeless. Seems impossible but it can happen i guess.

Anyway i think my husband will come to terms with an abortion (he knows i don't want children) but i just feel like everyone, society, will think me a monster.

We have a very high household income, a house in london and a BTL flat. We could afford a nanny.

There's ostensibly no reason not to have a baby apart from i feel physical revulsion at the thought of something inside me.

I feel like a monster for feeling this way. Would love to hear from anyone who has terminated a pregnancy for convenience and managed to forgive themselves

Oh I see. Pregnancy choices is the board used for people considering or asking about a termination. Sorry if it doesn't seem quite right for you, I do take your point. There isnt a terminations board.

@MNHQ can you please move this thread?

I've reported your post so mnhq see it, otherwise it would just be chance if they saw your messages. Mnhq I realise you probably won't want to reply to me and that's fine.

Thanks @stealth

So I just wanted to say, I had one at 18 - not just because of being 18 etc, but like you I just didn't want one. I honestly never felt anything but relief afterwards. I have never regretted it. Not forgiven myself because there is nothing to forgive.

Wish I'd told less people - although everyone was very kind, I ended up feeling that they expected grief from me, when I felt none. So I ended up almost play-grieving. I was a lot younger then I guess.

I would recommend reading Caitlin Moran on this - she writes very honestly about it. Unfortunately much of it is behind the Times paywall - don't know if you subscribe. It helped me a lot anyway - to know someone else felt the same.

Feel free to ask me anything about the whole thing - although it was a while ago now!

Pootles this is my concern and why i wanted this in relationships... The faux grief... I just feel sick at the thought of it all and need to be able to talk to my friends about it, same as any Other medical problem

Talking to friends is a slippery bugger, some you will find are completely cool about it, and may well have had one themselves (I think I heard 1 in 3 of us have one at some point?).

You know your friends better though - do you think they'd be ok? If not, perhaps time for a change anyway... If they are your friends they should take a cue from you.