Pregnant but not from my husband

[AnnaLuna]

My husband and I have been together for 15 years and I've never been pregnant from him. We talked about using donor sperm and he agreed as long as he doesn't know about it and the donor is similar looking to him so he will think that baby is his. That was almost a year ago since he first agreed. I couldn't find a suitable donor who's got many of his features but I found one who looks a bit like me. So now I am 8 weeks pregnant and my husband thinks it's his baby. I feel very guilty about it though as he keeps saying that baby might have his features etc. Thinking of telling him that I've used donor sperm.
I am really torn between what I should do.
Can't really talk about it to anyone except on here. I would appreciate advice or if somebody had similar experience could they share it with me please. Thanks.

Thinking about termination of the pregnancy too as an option but that will be very hard. I am 39 and might not get so lucky with getting pregnant soon again. And I've seen baby's heart beat today, I don't think I'll be able to terminate it now.

But he agreed?!

Hes agreed to this, he doesn’t want to know. Congrats x

Did you use a fertility clinic? Is there any counselling available? Or could you talk this through with your GP?

Do you think he knows deep down, seeing as you discussed this, and now he's playing along?

Surely he knew you were going for treatment

He agreed and said he didn’t want to know. Unless there’s more to this, I can’t see the problem?

Does he think it's his because you said, 'oh my God I'm pregnant naturally?' Or does he think you had treatment that used his sperm? It's hard but what happens if down the line your wee one needs medic treatment and he then finds out not his (blood type etc)? Surely better to be honest now?

This is you and your husbands baby regardless of dna. You will be a wonderful mother and your husband a wonderful father.
This is your chance at a family, congratulations to you both

Do you know it's definitely not his?

By donor do you mean you had treatment or a one night stand?

Sounds like your husband agreed to the situation anyway.

Surely he's not that stupid? Hasn't happened in 15 years, talk about sperm donor and suddenly pregnant. Maybe he's not saying anything but knows that there's a chance this isn't his baby?

So you slept with someone else? Or went to a clinic?

Yeah, think you're gonna have to clarify this opportunity, as it stands, I thought this was the plan?

Op, not opportunity

if this was the plan then I think he knows and is just playing along. congratulations

Eh??

Have to say, it was a pretty weird plan anyway.

I’m guessing this is an informal donor arrangement? It’s no surprise you’re left feeling all mixed up. I’d expect some kind of counselling if it was through a clinic.

If he's happy to bury his head in the sand to get what you BOTH want, let it be.

Once you've told him he will know and it can't be taken back. He wants to be fooled and believe. Allow him that kindness

How are you op?

My children all predominately look like me. I think that as he didn't want to know, just roll with it and see what the baby turns out like. Also people often say 'oh doesn't x look like MIL' I just see a teenage me in her so I think to an extent people see what they want to see. He sounds excited to have a child. I guess the only thing to consider in the future is being honest with your child. Your dh has chosen not to know but your child won't know that they don't know who their biological father is.

Hi guys. Sorry haven't been in a good place recently. Your replies are much appreciated.
Just been to the GP, explained the situation, it helped to talk about it.

My husband really thinks it's his, that's the problem. He is so happy. I asked him would be he happy if he knew it was sperm donor's, he said he would be. And then he asked if it's donor's baby and I said no. I just couldn't tell me the truth.