Pregnant but not from my husband

[AnnaLuna]

My husband and I have been together for 15 years and I've never been pregnant from him. We talked about using donor sperm and he agreed as long as he doesn't know about it and the donor is similar looking to him so he will think that baby is his. That was almost a year ago since he first agreed. I couldn't find a suitable donor who's got many of his features but I found one who looks a bit like me. So now I am 8 weeks pregnant and my husband thinks it's his baby. I feel very guilty about it though as he keeps saying that baby might have his features etc. Thinking of telling him that I've used donor sperm.
I am really torn between what I should do.
Can't really talk about it to anyone except on here. I would appreciate advice or if somebody had similar experience could they share it with me please. Thanks.

Sorry but he sounds like a bloody nightmare! If you really want a baby then keep it but I'm seriously beginning to think you should get rid of the husband - it shouldn't be this hard.

How are you OP? How are you feeling? I can't imagine he will need a while to get his head round it all.

I think he'll take time to come round, but even if he's not supportive during the pregnancy I reckon he'll come good when the baby is born. It takes time to get your head around something like this, and he did say he didn't want to know (want and need Re two different things!)

Hi guys :)
I am ok :) Husband is slowly getting used to the idea that baby is not his. He doesn’t call it his baby anymore, doesn’t say baby might look like him like he used to say etc. He seems to be ok, he wants to keep the baby. He knows if I terminate the pregnancy I might never get pregnant again. So it’s either this baby or possibly no baby in the future. He said only we will know that baby is not his, we already told his mum and other family members that we are expecting, they think it’s his.

Well it is his baby, just because it's not his sperm presumably he will still be the child's father

Wishing you well

I hope everything goes well for you :)

Sperm doesn't make someone a dad. The hundreds of threads on here about biological fathers being totally useless can confirm that.

Thanks for the support, guys. Really appreciate it.

GummyGoddess, I totally agree

You need to go ahead and hope he comes around. This is your one chance to be parents unless you went down adoption route. Given you have been trying to get pregnant he clearly wants to be a father.

@annaluna just read your post. What a unique and difficult position you are in. I'm glad you told your husband and are keeping the baby. You will probably find once the baby is here he will bond with the baby and it will all work out. He will see how happy this has made you when your baby comes along.

Didn't you tell him at the time that you'd found a donor and that you were going for insemination? Seems a bit off that you would take time off work, go for a procedure and not tell your husband at all during any of those opportunities?

He might not be the father but he can still be the parent.
I recommend that you don't tell anyone else within the family

Please tell him the truth.

OP he's being a dick to put this all on you.
Did you get any legal advice regarding the sperm donor?

Secrets are very disruptive and have a tendency to come out some where. You need professional counselling , you are playing with fire