To terminate late in pregnancy or not, please help

[WhatAMess123]

Hi,

Really need some unbiased opinions. Apologise in advance if I offend anyone.

I am 18 weeks pregnant, split with the dad who has a new partner and wants nothing to do with thme baby and is ignoring us. I work part time and have one DC already.

I think I decided to keep the baby without thinking, as i get further along I feel so panicked especially as know how hard babies can be, never mind doing it totally alone.

I feel totally overwhelmed and if I'm honest think I went ahead because it's his. Now as time goes by and I realise he really will never be involved, I think I've made a huge mistake. I feel heartbroken by him but know in time this will pass, but a baby is a constant reminder of him. But then I think when baby comes, will I even care about him and will I be so busy looking after baby he won't matter.

Also me and my DC have a lovely, happy quiet life just us two and I feel so sad it won't be like that much longer.

I know I sound a selfish monster and can't believe I've gotten this far in the pregnancy. I know it's even worse it all centres around this man, I'm so weak and rubbish but just don't know what to do. If I could I'd run away.

Any advice would be so welcome or even a flaming which I deserve totally.

Ketzele thank you - that's really interesting. The way that many women/girls felt coerced into adoptions due to their circumstances must affect that, too. So very sad.

Anyway, it wasn't my intention to derail the thread, so I'll bow out now.

Best of luck with what you decide, OP.

Sending you so much love and hugs right now - you're in a very difficult position, whatever you choose.

Just to clarify here, I'm 100% pro-choice and think the mental and physical well-being of the mother is paramount. So you need to make the best choice for you.

I think it's perfectly ok to be 'selfish' right now and think about what's best for you. My only thing would be, if you had a termination at this stage, would it give YOU (not anyone else) a happier life longterm? If you think you'd look back on it with serious regrets or wouldn't be able to forgive yourself for doing this, then maybe it wouldn't be the choice for you. Even though on paper, it would take away a lot of drama.

If you have this baby, you and DC1 would adapt and love it. You're a perfect twosome now, but you'll both have enough love to welcome another if that's what you want to do.

Wishing you all the best whatever you decide to do.

Just to add sending you hugs sympathies and a sincere hope you end up doing what is best for you.

The only thing I can add is that you could drive yourself crazy trying to predict how you will feel in the future. The best thing you can do is make a decision on your circumstances as they are now.

(And I know a lot of people are all about 100% honesty in every situation, but if you do decide on an abortion it might be easier to tell people you miscarried. If your ex is a real dyed-in-the-wool scumbag and hypocrite he might take the news as an opportunity to put the boot in. I wouldn't give him the chance.)