Happily married and we were TTC but I want an abortion

[theclick]

I posted about this when first finding out I was pregnant but even though DH and I were TTC (for one month), I got pregnant straight away and now, at 13 weeks, I still want an abortion.

I thought it would take at least 6 months to get pregnant at my age (33), and I feel like I'm going ahead with this to make everyone else happy - my parents, his mum. He wants the baby.

I don't think I'm really ready for the responsibility of a baby, even though I'm going along with the flow and today Even visited a local nursery.

I feel like no one is asking me how I feel and what I want to do. If it wasn't for them I would have had the abortion when I found out at 5 weeks.

I don't know what to do.

If you had an abortion and then couldn't conceive again, do you think you would regret it?

Frecklesfrodo right now, because I'm in such a state of - uh I don't want this - maybe not, but I know my DH wants kids and in my culture, if you don't have kids, there's something wrong with you...so yes in that way it would be hard to overcome.

Actually, if I were your DH and you terminated this pregnancy, I wouldn't want to conceive with you again. I would really struggle with your decision to terminate a pregnancy that we had planned and wanted and looked forward to. I wouldn't/couldn't put myself in that vulnerable place again, sorry. He will likely mourn the baby he wanted and was looking forward to.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, it is how I would feel.

Hey OP,

You pointed me towards this thread after I started a similar one. I feel exactly the same as you. I am 5 weeks and have spent my time googling abortions. We are happily married, in our 30s, financially stable...apart from our needing to buy a house (though no issues affording it) there isn't any reason we shouldn't go ahead with the pregnancy. But I am petrified.

Just wanted you to know this thread has helped me, and you're not alone.

Hi pregnantandscared I'm glad it has helped you. Obviously only you can decide what you want to do and don't let anyone's judgements get in the way.

What I will say is that I am getting more and more used to pregnancy day by day. Yes I'm still frustrated at my changing body, the fact that all mothers seem to want to do is tell me how little sleep they get, etc. But it's slowly becoming more real.

However, there are times when I think - I could have ended this easily when I first found out (at 5 weeks). The more scans I've had the more I've realised there is something real inside me so it would be harder to get rid of it. If you want to take the decision to terminate, take your time, but do it before you form any emotional connection to what is inside of you. Again, only you can decide.