Maybe I'm being a wuss, but is anybody else on their 1st pregnancy & TERRIFIED of the whole birth thing?

[LittleBeth53]

Ok, so I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me! Every expectant mother I come across is totally fine with the thought of childbirth, even if it's their first baby. I know the end result will be totally worth it, but the whole thought of pushing him out sometimes knocks the breath out of me!! In a bad way!!

Maybe I'm being a total wet noodle about it, but I have nightmares about pushing out a 12lb sumo baby!

My pregnancy has been healthy & smooth sailing which means I'm booked into a birthing suite which also means nothing but run of the mill gas & air for me!!

Gulp!!

Anyone else feeling the same way?! Please say I'm not the only one......!

no,, everyone feels this way, I promise
They just don't say
But you hear the horror stories, you don't hear about the straightforward births
and most people are happy with their birth experiences, however it was (I realsie some aren't)

Yeah I guess. I need to stop watching 'one born every minute.' Hahaha.

Im expecting my 1st in about 6 weeks! On a daily basis I veer from feeling totally positive from utterly petrified.

I tend to get my more negative thoughts when I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep!

search MN for positive birth stories - there are loads!
And most women have (or want) more than one - which tells you something

Well, this is my 3rd and I will admit to being slightly terrified about the birth

And I've had 2 straightforward, uncomplicated and no-intervention labours

You're not a wuss at all

I am though [should know better emoticon]

Mine's not due till Sep so I've got a few months yet but I'm exactly the same, one min I think it'll be fine, a breeze even & then the next minute I'm thinking "oh my god, I can't do it, no way!"

It's like I really want my baby but I don't wanna have to do the neccesary evils to get him out. I'd very much like a fairy godmother to come along & just magic him into my arms! If only!

I'm not seriously worried about the birth itself (apart from some anxieties about whether DH will ever feel the same way about me again afterwards if he's there), but I'm very scared of being left on an understaffed postnatal ward on my own with a brand new baby, not having a clue what to do with it. My main issue is what happens after the birth: I'm petrified of having a baby to look after, and I've spent most of the last 27 weeks thinking "What have I done!". Especially when I contemplate all the more loopy relations on both sides of the family that it might turn out like.

notnow, ah but you have the superstition that you can't possibly be lucky again!
Which, as I'm sure you really know, is rubbish

Petsville I was EXACTLY the same with my 1st

So bloody freaked out about the idea of having an actual "in true-life" (to quote dd1) newborn baby to look after that I hardly ever thought about the birth itself

All was absolutely fine and I wish you the same experience

Hmm, I'm worried about the first time I'm left alone with my baby, especially as I've had some pre natal depression although everybody assures me that maternal instinct kicks in & you just know what to do.

I'm more worried about the actual birth. Not even the contractions but the whole pushing. And then the consequent stitches! Every time somebody says the words "maternity pads" to me my stomach rolls over!

I think its normal to feel somewhat scared be it your 1st, 2nd, etc.

I am due with my 2nd in November and even tho my DD only took 3 and half hours I still think 'oh god' plus like LittleBeth53 said watching 'one born every minute' does not help haha

But yeah try and read peoples positive birth stories like StealthPolarBear said!

Here's one for you, with DD I had her in 3 and half hours, VB and no drugs or gas and air x

Stealth I have said exactly that! I've had 2 'easy' births, I can't possibly be lucky enough to have another

Rather than I've had 2 'easy' births, odds are the 3rd will be the same

Can you tell I am a glass-half-empty kind of gal

notnowbernard, after all that stretching the first two have done, the 3rd will pop out if you sneeze after 38 weeks

yes, you may slap me

Ooh, DP will be pleased

Will ask mw to stick in a few extra stitches this time...

(Sorry)

No mad to be terrified, just normal.

If it helps giving birth to my DD hurt like fuck but at the same time was singularily the most exciting thing that I have ever experienced.

yep me too
Although I only want two, I'd like to go through labour again. It was intense!

Thanks, notnowbernard - reassuring to know I'm not the only one who feels like this! If anyone else in RL says, "ooh, you must be really excited" I will wallop them.

No you're not mad or a wuss! Yes, I am terrified too!! Came to the early conclusion that this childbirth thing is just plain bonkers and there is a serious design flaw in the whole system. Why can't they just teleport out? If I could swap places with DH, I would in a heartbeat!
Am also hoping for a birthing suite - not because I have any particular beliefs around natural childbirth, but because the reading that I have done indicates that the fewer interventions you have the better the outcome for both you and the baby. And the quicker your recovery time. So, my decision for birthing suite all comes from self interest!! Obviously assuming baby is OK, I remain low risk, baby doesn't get distressed, etc, etc, etc.
My unit is part of a hospital and I was told that if I need interventions, or if I can't cope with it any more and want an epidural then they'll just whisk me up to the labour ward, where it'll all be available. Maybe check whether the same arrangement exists for you? I certainly felt a lot happier knowing that if I can't hack it any more I can opt for an epidural. Also check what pain relief they do offer on the suite - mine offers gas and air, but also pethidine injection as well. Again, feel much happier knowing that this is an option. Want to try and do without, but I'm not going to get a medal for "being brave" (whatever that means).
Oh and yes, also scared I will break the baby. Good luck! We will be fine you know.

one thing to do is write down everything you are scared of. Discuss it with DH or friend, think about what you might be able to prevent, what you might do if X or Y happened and then you'll be left with some that are the real unknowns and you can think about coping strategies. Really does help to think it through then let it go.

I am pregnant with my third baby and I can honestly say that I was a mess through my first pregnancy because of worry about labour. For me, there just came a point where I was heavily pregnant, very uncomfortable and just ready for the baby to be born. At that time I became much more accepting of the inevitable - the baby just had to come out. I did go to NCT ante-natal classes which were really good and having lots of information made me feel more in control when I was in labour. As an experience, the early stages have been ok for me - and there was an element of excitement that the baby was nearly here and the pain was uncomfortable more than anything else. In the later stages it was very painful, but I knew that it was getting closer and closer to it being over. The relief and joy when it is and you hold your baby is unbelieveable and there is a sense of great achievement.

My advice would be to find out as much info as you can so that you know what is going to happen at each point and what choices you have. It will really help you to feel more in control and to understand why you feel the way that you do. It is also worth visiting the hospital so that it's not completely unfamiliar to you.

You will be fine, we all are in the end, good luck!

YES, ME! I'm due on Monday with my first baby and absolutely bricking it. I'm so excited for my baby to be born but terrified of the unknown of labour. Everyone I've spoken to though has said they felt the same. I think it must be very unusual to not be fearful, especially when you don't really know what to expect. Sure we'll all be fine

This is so so normal Am not laughing at your fears, just smiling because I remember feeling exactly the same. Its hard work - its not called labour for nothing after all - and it does hurt. BUT there are options to deal with this, and the staff on hand - whether you have a full on drug supplied hospital birth, or a home birth with a doula - are trained to make it as easy and as safe for both you and the baby.

I know its much easier for me to say as my baby is now asleep in his cot, but try and relax, or you will not enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. You will be saying exactly the same thing after you've had your DC

It's completely natural to be nervous. I was! (just had first dd 10 weeks ago). I agree with SamanthaB123, my advice would be to find out as much as you can - it gave me loads of reassurance during labour to know roughly what was happening to my body and what was coming next. There's also loads you can do whilst pregnant to calm the nerves and convince yourself that your body actually knows what to do to get the baby out if you just trust it (after all none of us have to consciously tell our body how to host the baby for 9 mths - it just happens). I tried yoga, natal hypnotherapy CDs (which really helped www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/) and positive affirmations whilst I power walked (until I got too big to be able to do more than waddle!). Good luck.

I was terrified. 16 weeks with my second and am terrified again.

It is natural to be concerned, there is nothing wrong with you at all.

I was really terrified, as everyone I knew told me their horror stories, their mum's horror stories, their sister's horror stories, their aunts, their best friend's cleaner's granny's cat's horror stories... you get the picture.

In reality, I ended up having a fantastic birth - it was really one of the best experiences of my life. Yes, you have pain, but it is not pain if you see what I mean. I know that sounds odd, but there is a PURPOSE to it, so it isn't like having a headache pain, or broken limb or whatever. I was really scared of the possibility of tearing, and in the end I had second degree tearing as dd came out with her hand above her head ala superman! BUT even the tearing wasn't as bad as I had imagined.

I'd happily do it all again tomorrow. Giving birth for me was a euphoric experience, and I never thought I would be saying that when I was pregnant! Try not to listen to the horror stories, relax and try to enjoy it!!