Maybe I'm being a wuss, but is anybody else on their 1st pregnancy & TERRIFIED of the whole birth thing?

[LittleBeth53]

Ok, so I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me! Every expectant mother I come across is totally fine with the thought of childbirth, even if it's their first baby. I know the end result will be totally worth it, but the whole thought of pushing him out sometimes knocks the breath out of me!! In a bad way!!

Maybe I'm being a total wet noodle about it, but I have nightmares about pushing out a 12lb sumo baby!

My pregnancy has been healthy & smooth sailing which means I'm booked into a birthing suite which also means nothing but run of the mill gas & air for me!!

Gulp!!

Anyone else feeling the same way?! Please say I'm not the only one......!

It might make you feel better remembering "most people go on to have a second child"....

A bad ear infection is more painful - in my experience (3 DC: 18hrs and episiotomy; 2.5 hrs and stitches, 2.5 hrs and no stitches)!

Plus as others have said if you need an episiotomy, when it comes to it you really won't care at that point!

Wow, DrDoobs. I had very bad ear infections as a child, and my labours, both, were about ten times worse painwise. It just varies. It just is unfair.

LittleBeth53 consider it this way...the birth will take maybe 24 total hours, less or more, either way it's only one day. You might have pain. You might not have pain. But the fear you have is over an experience that is only one day. That fear is normal though so don't worry.

I've given birth to two healthy babies, one vaginally and one via csection. I've had one miscarriage (naturally passed at 10 weeks). In hindsight, I'd say the bigger fear was bringing home my lovely newborns that arrived WITHOUT instruction manuals.

You'll do fine. Just believe in yourself. Also, believe in your body because it was made to give birth.

Best wishes to you.

So natural to be terrified of the unknown with all the horror stories but you'll get through it and be so amazed at what your body is capable of. I've been going to pregnancy yoga and active birth classes which give you lots of techniques to help you through the labour and make you feel a bit more in control, help calm you down when you are having a wobble about it. Deep breathing and calm thoughts is the best advice I've got to give. But it is so normal to be worried. Best of luck with it all. I'm due any day now so am right there with you!
xxx

It's natural to be scared, but please remember it's the most exciting thing in the world! My dd is 10m old now. I prepared myself for labour by reading all I could, going to nct classes, practising breathing techniques in yoga and meditation classes and keeping reasonably fit throughout. I then forgot it all in the chaos of my waters breaking and a hectic labour (2h40, drug free). However the midwives are truly fabulous-they do an amazing job of "coaching" you through every step if the labour.

And as for afterwards-maternal instinct just kicks in (even though you think you're clueless!). The best advice I had was take one day at a time, seek a support group of other new mum's and do your best, as your best will always be good enough!

Good luck!

im probably weird but im possitivley excited about the whole prospect. i will probably chamge my mind!!!

moving on slightly but again it is also a lottery whether you can breastfeed. My milk never came in. Just wasn't there. Tried every technique known to (wo)man.

lots of lectures and 'advice' from midwives

Then a couple of years ago I saw one of my midwives on the school run. She said one of her midwife colleagues had had a baby and couldn't breastfeed. "We always thought all women could breastfeed". Why would I make it up?

Oh, can I just add...

As long as you end up with a healthy baby, whatever kind of birth experience, and whatever choices you make (drugs, epidural, episiotomy, caesarian etc) are absolutely fine.

Sometimes if you are completely attached to the idea of a particular birth, if for any reason the plan changes, it can feel like a let-down. My birth plan turned out to be a work of comedy fiction, but with a baby safely delivered at the end, frankly, it was all worth it.

I wish all you first-timers the very, very best of luck, and safe deliveries. xx

You are right to fear shoddy post natal care - that's all that was on offer for me. Turn your fear into something productive: be prepared. Learn how to sterilise, even if you want to bf, have sleepsuits that are easy to get a newborn into, ie not pullovers, some good swaddling blankets and know how to swaddle etc because if you have an experience like mine, and I hope no one does, there won't be any helpful hospital staff for miles. Best of luck.

Yep PETRIFIED. Thinking of ttc again now (ds is nearly 1) and petrified of even pregnancy again - what a wuss!!

With the birth though, I had an awful first birth and I still will do it again because however bad it is, it comes to an end. It's not forever. Just keep telling yourself that!

I would also reccomend Natal-Hypnotherapy. Was wonderful for me, really helped my attitudes towards the birth and helped me have a calm and relaxed pregnancy.

The CDs were also very useful during the early stages of labour.

My baby is very calm, and I put this down to the CDs affect on my mood during pregnancy and labour.

Best money I spent on pre-labour thingies.

Oh, and as for post labour care, it was wonderful at the hospital I was at. I was at a loss what to do with my little boy at first, but a midwife was always available at a push of a button and it never felt like i was troubling them.

A special midwife saw me at 5am too, i was so sleepy and was struggling to get my baby to sleep. She showed me how to get him to latch on properly, chatted to me while I fed him, and then showed me how to swaddle him and stayed with me till we were both alseep.

It's not all bad! Just don't be afraid to push that button if you need someone.