october 2010 continued

[Katy86]

just thought id get a new one going as there are only 2 messages space left on the original..xxx

no to be honest, since my first DS came along 2.5 years ago my libido has completely disappeared so im not really bothered but i know what u mean it brings u closer together cos we have become quite distant lately - what with my mood swings and then not being able to go out together much cos of DS1.
it just makes me feel a little 'unattractive' rite now which is a shame cos some women must have partners that find their changing shape so attractive they must feel totally different, he says he 'doesnt exactly find it a turn on' - the pregnant thing and so how can i not feel that me, my body dont turn him on anymore. meaning i have gotten a tad more on the jealous scale of late! - well he may have more of a wondering eye if his partner 'isnt exactly a turn on'! altho i am confident he would never cheat, i dont like the thought of him looking at other women.
so kinda puts a little downer on the whole pregnancy thing, im just glad im not super horny like the books say u get!
i take it ur partner doesnt mind it then?

morning everyone, I to say we are having more sex than ever! dh finds me sexier than when he met me so feel very beautiful right now. And yes the weeks are dragging now, just starting to count down the days at work which are quite a few as I'm planning to work until 38wks.

at your post yummy My DH has been brilliant, I didn't know how it would be as he had such a negative experience with an unwanted pregnancy/relationship when his sons were born but he's been brilliant, he loves the way I look. We had got a bit distant because I was grumpy/tired/spending all my spare time and energy meeting friends or doing pregnancy related exercise so we had a bit of a frank exchange of views about it all last night!

If your partner won't play ball then I suppose it's up to you. I bet you do look fabulous, so I suppose it's just the usual stuff of looking good for yourself and wait for him to get with the programme. It must be hard with DS to find the time but do you go to any exercise classes? I go to them much more for my mental than my physical health!!!

Also - has anyone noticed getting a bit more attention from other men since they got pg? I'm sure I get more looks in the street and what have you... and it's not that I'm all blooming, o no, I'm covered in acne!

im pretty sure i look ok - started off 8/10 pre pregnancy and the only change is my belly, i havent put much weight on anywhere else...no u mention it,i did get wolf whistled last weekend much to OH's annoyance as i text him straight after as if to prove a point that other men still find me attractive now im pregnant! (immaturity im sure!) and he rang straight back upset that i think he doesnt fancy me anymore...how can he if he doesnt find pregnancy a turn on? am i being silly here or would u feel the same if ur partner suddenly didnt want sex and said it wasnt a turn on for him?

so thank you to whichever work men it was who whistled. ... gave me a little reasurance im not as hideous as OH makes me feel! altho he did say i looked sexy yesterday wen i thought i looked like crap - i think the whole 2 months with no sex thing is started to grate a little now and the slightest comment such as can u get it out for me?(refering to cereal in the cuboard may i add!) turns into him getting excited nowadays!

LOL - good point yummy if I have understood you correctly he may not be able to hold out for much longer?! Excellent!

See! I was right! You are gorgeous! Too right telling him some bloke wolf whistled at you. He should know he's not the only bloke who notices you! Maybe this thing will just blow over soon - hope so.

Thanks DillyDora

Just annoying the only bloke i want to fancy me (OH!) doesnt seem to - rite now anyway. then if we do ever have sex in the next 4 months ill be worried to death about what he will be thinking of as it certainly wont be a pregnant me anyhow! but thats just my pregnancy paranoia kicking in eh!

I wish i did have one of those partners who fancy u more than ever wen pregnant tho. must be so nice. But u cant have it all ways and he is a lovely caring partner who doesnt generally gawp at women much anyway - which i like!

Howz work going for u? u finding it hard yet? is this ur first baby btw?

OH sounds all round lovely, I'm sure it'll all come right.

Yes, I keep making mistakes/talking rubbish at work and am trying to wfh as much as possible. Students are driving me a bit mad - they can be so demanding!

Yep, this is my first baby at the tender age of 38 - bit of a late starter!DH and I didn't meet till we were 35 and I didn't even want babies till I met him

Not quite sure how anyone copes with being pg when they already have a LO to take care of!

im not quite sure how i am coping with LO to take care of either tbh! apart from spending every waking day falling to sleep ever 5 mins which now feels like a normal thing to do!
I just miss my sleep, if i had more of it i wudnt have a problem its just killing me getting up before 6am most mornings then doing a full days work to come home and contend with LO until bed time. Im also trying to finish off my diploma submission which is due in a week on tue and i am only what a 1/3 of the way thru it! I just dont have the energy to do it but work has paid and so i have standards to live up to!
i think things would have been a lot easier if id have had kids later on in life (altho i do believe what is ment to be is ment to be so wudnt wish for a change) but im 24 and 5 1/2 months pregnant with my second - my first came half way thru completing my degree(which i did complete thankfully and got a 2.1) and the second will b 6 months wen we emmigrate to canada so iv had a pretty active few years!

Do u feel u have a lot more patience now than wen u were mid 20's? do u plan on having any more?

Blimey! You are packing it all in! I don't know how you do it either! You must be exhausted.

I think I kind of care less about some things at this age... I never thought I would have kids, and then of course even when I wanted to it was a bit of a worry that I was soooo old so, yeah, I hope I'll be more chilled out. I'd love to have another (hope I'll still feel that way after LO is born) if my ol' eggs will permit it . I'm kind of known for not being a patient person but I feel good about the baby, much better than I thought I would so I hope that feeling will carry on. Also - I don't have any need to be perfect - heh heh! So that should help, shouldn't it?!

i suppose theres benefits of each option - babies in ur 20's,30's or 40's - the fact i had stretchmarks at 21 kinda did annoy me just a tad as id only just got the guts to wear bikinis in public a few years before that anyhow and now its a nitemare. altho i have come to terms with them lately, just hope idont get anymore altho i cant see where u would fit anymore mind?
r u a teacher i take it from ur student comment? I dont know how teachers do it these days, young people are so cheeky nowadays! My mum had me wen she was 38, and (from what shes told me) she didnt have any problems with it, in fact i seem to be the the best brought up one as mum had a lot more time and patience with me than with my brother and sister.
my main concern is how will i cope with 2? and i dont want my relationship with my little boy to change, we are very close - he is very much a Mummy's boy. but yet i still want my baby girl to be as close to me and not be neglected due to DS1 high demands! Im sure it will all unfold once baby arrives just worrying rite now.
when is ur due date? Im already looking forward to leaving work, i wont be going back to work in the UK once i leave as ill be moving to Canada so i cant wait for an excuse to have lots more time with the kids, always have this hidden guilt about going to work full time anyway so ill be free of that for a while!

I'm a university lecturer so I shouldn't ever complain about my job Can't believe you're moving to Canada - that's amazing. I bet childcare gets a whole lot easier once you don't have to work as well (anyone else have experience of this?)

I think you'll be back in your bikini sooner than you think - joys of getting older and pleasing yourself.

I'm due 21st Oct and I think everyone worries about their relationships with their kids and how they change as life changes. Bet it will be ok!

Hey - is everyone else still there? We're hijacking horribly but you must have opinions/experience of these, right?

Hi Dilly and Yummy, just been reading all your posts. My DH keeps telling me that he finds me sexier than ever now that I am pg but he still does not want to have sex with me as he thinks it is weird when the baby is around. So I guess sex is off the table at the moment but I don't mind so much as I am not really up for it myself at the moment.

Yummy so you are emigrating to Canada. How exciting! My friend is doing just that, she is leaving in two weeks time. I am also emigrating but to South Africa. We leave at the end of August, two months before B-day, very exciting indeed.

Wow it is so hot today. Glad to be at home, watching Holland-Brasil at the moment and waiting for tennis to start.

i wish i was at home! 2 days off last week has really give me a taster of what it will be like once maternity leave starts. cant wait...13 weeks and counting!

im so glad ur OH feels the same Saarjie i dont feel so bad now. and like u, im not up for it myself atm so no skin off my nose eh!

Its very scary the thought of moving out there all alone, my mum helps out loads with babysitting if we fancy a date nite or what not so the thought of losing that help totally is worrying me some what. i do think i need quite a lot of me time compared to other mums i know and not sure how my system will take to my 'me time' being cut quite dramatically?! think thats down to age i suppose, hopefully the first year or so will be real tough but then it will get easier once we get used to managing on our own.
and as u could have guessed our mums are not very happy at the thought of meeting their grand daughter for 6 months and then have her taken away to another country so it will be very difficult to leave! but its such a better life for the kids out there, so much to do outdoors and the people r lovely.
my OH would be so jealous about your friend leaving in 2 weeks, if he could he would leave tomorrow! altho we have a lot of saving to do in the next 10 months! and gosh ur leaving 7 months pregnant! go u! i dont think i could manage that, sounds far too stressfull for my liking!

I think you're both very brave doing all this emigrating business but also - how fab! You will be fine, you'll make loads of new friends and soon find babysitters. My friend went off to live in Holland with 2 littlies and it was fine, she made all her connections through her kids. I'm very envious.... I have lived outside the UK in a couple of different places (when I was much younger) and it is brilliant ...scary but brilliant!

Yummy my move sounds more stessful than it actually is. We are moving to SA but DH is from there so we are moving to be closer to his family. I will therefore suddently have grandparents and great grandparents and aunties and uncles coming out of my ears which is lovely. Here in the UK neiter of us have any family so I think we are improving life for ourselves and the baby by moving there. For me it is going to be a big change as I am from Scandinavia but I love SA and I love DH's family so I am really looking forward to it.

I am however not looking forward to flying at 31 weeks but the airline has been lovely so far and have reassured me that they will look after me. We are also taking our cat and that in itself is tricky but I think I finally have all his documents in order and he is on the same flight as us so should be ok.

I think Canada will be a fantastic place to bring up children. From what I have heard from my friend the standard of living is so much better there in that you get more for your money. I am sure once your respective mums see how happy the childen are there they will be fine with the move.

My parents are already used to living in a different country to me so the only difference is a slightly longer flight which I think they can cope with. They've already booked tickets for Christmas

My goodness we're been busy today!

Anyone else got heartburn yet - I'm really struggling today, my mum says it's cause I'm only small and its inevitable that things will get squashed - hoping gaviscon will settle things.

Re the old bedroom business, I have to say there's not been much change there for us except positions . If anything I think I'm a bit less 'horny' than before although I am craving more affection if that makes sense?
DH doesn't seem to mind the belly and loves the boobs and bum.

Off to bed now where DH is going to give me a nice back massage - you should see the position I have to get into to get that!!!

Have a fabby weekend - I have promised myself an internet free weekend so will catch up with you all on Monday.

xxxxxxx

are any of u with kids already finding ur patience levels have suddenly become really low?
I have had a lovely day with DS1, we went to the ballies, shopping and then i had a few hours peace whilst his Nanny took him to a birthday party, they came home at 6, bedtime was 7:30pm and he is still awake at 20 to 9. arh!! the only pain in the butt bit is that i have to keep walking up and down the stairs to send him back to bed as he can now get out of his room....wen iv been on my feet all day and have an aching back that is not good and my patience r fastly running out!!

on a better note, i tried on the dress i found (in Primark of all places!) for the wedding i have next weekend and it still fits! Yay! and i think i look quite nice in it which is a total shocker so i am quite pleased with my find and am looking forward to a day with me and my OH as DS1 isnt coming. plus it is on the same date our wedding will be (10th of July) so it will be a 'this time in 3 years itl be us' moment...knowing my emotional rollercoaster turns of late i will be in tears when it comes to the vows!

What are we all doing on this saturday nite?

Definitely agree re patience levels YummyMummy! Poor DS.

We have a friend's wedding next Sat too. It's our first experience of a gay wedding so quite excited as I expect it will be VERY glam and OTT! Glad you have got an outfit you look good in, it's so hard to find something nice isn't it? Oh and I will definitely cry too, I always do at weddings even without the pg hormones!

Must be the weekend for weddings as it's my sister's next saturday too. Yummy I am finding my patience levels with DD1 a little stretched at times (well more than a little stretched to be fair) and I seem to spend more time than I would like saying sorry to her am trying harder though!
Hope you are all having a good weekend

Morning!

My, everyone has been busy. Although it seems like old chat now cos you've been talking about other things, just to add my bit about sex: I have not noticed any change with my DH, who is unlikely to be put off by the inconvenience of a moving tummy and he loves the boobs! However, I am not feeling that into it and I think that at least some of that has to do with afterwards when i get what I assume are Braxton Hicks contractions. Does anyone else have that? I find it off putting as I can't help think about it before and it then makes me feel a bit bad for the bump like she's having to live through it all for a while afterwards I know that she doesnt have a clue what's going on but it does make me feel weird.

Re emigration: well done all of you. Standard of living outside England (almost anywhere) is a major step up in my view and lovely for the littlies. I'd love to move somewhere for a few years, but I'd struggle to get DH outside the M25 let alone to a different country

hi kfw (and everyone!) I know what you mean about the contractions but you could tell yourself they're a good thing - I read somewhere that they happen all the time in pg anyway and help get a good blood supply to baby

Envious of back massages! See...

Had a good w/e. The DSS are finally being allowed to go on holiday with their pa and will be going to see their grandparents for the first time in three years!!! Hurray! I am not going - it's a guy thing plus I get to go and see the in-laws next week.

xx

Morning all,

Hope you had a nice weekend! DH and I actually went out to buy some baby clothes on Saturday which was lovely, we both really enjoyed it and came home with way too much stuff

I have such increadible lower back ache. Does anyone else have this. I have spoken to the Midwife about it and she says it's normal. Still it is so uncomfortable. Does anyone have any tips how to be more comfortable?

Have just realised we are leaving in less than two months. Deary me, we have about one million things to do and organise before then. Best start writing lists me thinks.

Hi dilly. Thanks. I am really pleased for you re the DDS and their holidays. The ex sounds like a nightmare.

Saartjie - I am a bit of the baby clothes. How exciting! We are off on holiday for 2 weeks this Saturday but once we are back I am going to do a whole lot of shopping No tips re back ache I am afraid. If it's interrupting sleep, do get one of those special pillows though. I LOVE my dreamgenii thing (although I have it so that I can sleep on my back/side rather than for back ache specifically).

Saartjie I have mild sciatica at the minute and it's pretty unfomfortable at times. I find that a hot water bottle - I have one of those microwave ones - when I'm sitting down helps a bit - I also put it behind me when I'm in the car as I can't seem to get comfy when driving - and have been known to walk around the house with it tucked into the back of my clothes - back rubs are amazing. A nice bubble bath helps too.

I find that if I sit for too long or in one position I kind of seize up which isn't good so I try to keep moving- just walking around and with the hot water bottle really helps - also you wouldn't believe how tidy the house is and I don't even notice I'm putting things away!

Swimming is another one that's helped me as I think it takes the pressure off as you're supported by the water - I have been alternating swimming and walking lengths at my pool - very short pool and it doesn't have a deep end (hotel pool)

My mum said that when she was pregnant with one of us she had bad sciatica and the only way to relieve it was to stand with her left leg up on the kitchen bench - hilarious - but you might just need to try lots of different things and see what gives you relief.

feel better

I have the same kind of back ache and it's really irritating - wakes me up at night too. I was told it's best to sleep on your side and never cross your legs as that adds to the pressure but I haven't found anything that really helps.
Dilly excellent news on the DSS's