WHY is such a big deal made if you use drugs in labour?

[hamster]

I'm a little curious as to why so many women think that because you have pethidine/epidural/any other drug, you are a bit of a wimp.

I had an epidural during my last labour, and continuously people have felt the urge to comment. Things such as "Oh I did it with just gas and air", or "A friend of mine went through labour with absolutely nothing"

I do appologise if I do sound petty, but it really puts a dent into your confidence
My sister has just been through labour, a couple of days ago, and I know that this will be one of the main topics of conversation next time I see the family, as such a big deal was made of it before the birth.

At the end of the day, I would have thought that as long as you have a healthy baby at the end of it, what does it matter?

small field mouse? Yeah - I identify with that.

What about a churchmouse...is that smaller?

Do you know, I'm getting pretty pissed off with people who ask why you'd put yourself through it when pain relief exists, as if people who do are a bit simple.

I have NEVER sneered at anybody for having pain relief in labour - why does anyone feel the need to belittle my choice to not use pain relief, for very understandable reasons IMO, detailed elsewhere on this thread?!

LOL Mogwai! (And sorry if I was getting a bit up myself there! )

I went to a religious school of the 'we're gonna make you suffer' variety... any extra suffering they could squeeze in they would have done!

Congratulations on the birth of your baby and glad it all went so well.

No-one has ever asked me what drugs I did or didn't take actually and I don't think I have ever asked anyone that same question. The only person I ever found who even commented on drugs in labour was a husband of an NCT friend who said how great X was because she "did it without drugs and was so brave". I remember thinking at the time 'well she gave birth in 30 minutes and I gave birth in 19 hours, who the hell couldn't hack a bit of pain for 30 goddamn minutes' but ONLY because he'd been silly enough to brag about it in the first place. Having had a 19 hour back to back type of birth first time around I had every drug known to man, second time round took 2 hours and the midwives told me on arrival "no epidural staff shortages" I feel somewhat qualifed to say every birth is different, it just shouldn't be and isn't an issue.

Would also like to point out that DS was back to back and took just over 12 hours to arrive, so wasn't a quick straightforward ten-minute labour like has also been implied is the only way to do it drug-free. I appreciate that other people have far longer labours with more complications, btw

I agree too hunker!

emma, i don't think people do it for competition, you'd have to be pretty bloody competetive to use your Birth as some kind of statement to how strong you were!

hunkermunker - ignore it. Perhaps they are not intending to diss your choice.

When people say "I can't understand why anyone would choose to do it without pain relief", they are generalising. They are not talking about you specifically. You have detailed many times, and on other threads, that you have medical reasons for not having pain relief. Seems you have no choice, which is a shame, but that's how it is for you. No big deal.

Nobody is having a go at you, truly .

A bit like being competitive about your toenails or something, Angeliz! But some people are v peculiar (and have v ugly toenails - not like my gorgeous ones )

Mogwai, I do realise nobody's having a go at me personally and I also realise I'm sounding particularly arsey

BUT even generalisations are unpleasant when you fall into the group that's being generalised about iyswim. For instance, if I was to say "people who have epidurals are wimps" that's a generalisation, but I know it would piss people off But the reason I don't say it is because I don't believe it (she adds, hastily!).

Hunkermunker, why so defensive?

Just putting the other side of the coin, Bosscat.

Angeliz - there are some pretty competitive ladies out there. They are HILARIOUS!

I know someone who's really competitive about having given birth without drugs, at home, against medical advice. Wooooo! Big congratulations! She took HUGE risks with her baby's life.

These competitive people appear to have no other life, so they brag about their births. Seems to make up for their perceived failings in other areas.

sad, sad, sad

Nah, Lockets, will probably be a marathon with all sorts of pain relief and interventions. That's what I had expected would happen with DS - was pretty surprised when it didn't!

oh hunkermunker!

You KNOW I started the passive birth thread!

You KNOW we wanted epidurals because we are wimps! That's not at all offensive, it's funny. I'm a complete WIMP!!!!

Guess I'm secure enough to laugh at myself. Glad I am!

What coin? I made no argument! I said it has never been an issue in my experience. I said the only one who did comment was a husband of a friend. I said it isn't and shouldn't be an issue. I don't understand your "arsey" tone at all to be honest.

c'mon hunker....you KNOW you want that lovely anaesthetist to limber up

Bosscat, I wasn't arguing with you personally!

Mogwai

YOU DO!!!!!!

go for it hunker.....and get your arse onto passive birth to tell us how amazing it was

Er... Nah - lovely big birthing pool all to myself, midwives only having access to examine me if I feel like letting them I'll take that any day!