WHY is such a big deal made if you use drugs in labour?

[hamster]

I'm a little curious as to why so many women think that because you have pethidine/epidural/any other drug, you are a bit of a wimp.

I had an epidural during my last labour, and continuously people have felt the urge to comment. Things such as "Oh I did it with just gas and air", or "A friend of mine went through labour with absolutely nothing"

I do appologise if I do sound petty, but it really puts a dent into your confidence
My sister has just been through labour, a couple of days ago, and I know that this will be one of the main topics of conversation next time I see the family, as such a big deal was made of it before the birth.

At the end of the day, I would have thought that as long as you have a healthy baby at the end of it, what does it matter?

[bosscat]

Okay! because I don't understand at all how people can get competitive about it so I would hate to be taken as if I was doing that. I just remembered actually another husband of a friend wouldn't let her get an epidural and actually argued with the midwife about it in case their baby "ended up" like my son having to wear glasses!!!!! She had to ask midwife to take him outside as he was being such a dick. I couldn't believe it when he told me really nonchalently, as if it wasn't totally offensive and insane.

[mogwai]

well good for you - hope it goes well

I wouldn't expect us all to order the same meal in a restaurant...we're all different.

Erm....has this thread run out of steam yet?

[mogwai]

bosscat - jeeeeeeesus that's terrible!!

[hunkermunker]

No, didn't think you were being competitive about it at all, Bosscat!

Am and about your friend's husband though - what a moron!

[hunkermunker]

Yeah, but Mogwai, the meal I ordered would be much more tasty and I'd eat it better than you would [wink

[bosscat]

I know! I was upset at the time but now I just think what a prat.

[mogwai]

hunker, you'd eat it way better... I wouldn't be able to feel my tongue, it would spill out of the sides

[hunkermunker]

If you used two chopsticks, I'd do it using one

[mogwai]

hmmmmm

the joke was about lack of sensation....keep it up!!!!

[Ellbell]

Hunkermunker (sorry - not keeping up - trying to do two things at the same time)... re. needles. Doctor came to try to put a cannula in me when I was in labour. I looked at her, looked at the needle and just threw up (think I was in transition). She went away and took her needle with her.

[Angeliz]

sorry, dd woke up!
Just want to say, about competetiveness, one of the school mums has always been there done that and got the t.shirt and i was telling dp the other night, if i am to beleive her, her daughter slept right through from day 1, only eats vegetables and was on the potty at 9 weeks!!

( i think she's very insecure!!)

[mogwai]

VERY insecure

Are't you glad you're not?

[Angeliz]

what do you mean by that?

[Angeliz]

off to put baby back down!

[edam]

Apparently 'they' say that giving birth is one of the three most painful things you can experience. The others are a prolapsed disc and kidney stones.
My sister, who has had all three, says at least you kind of know that giving birth won't last forever. Personally I found labour pains much more agonising than I had expected but sister says prolapsed disc was the worse because there's no let up as there is with contractions.

That ramble means my opinion is each to her own - everyone should have access to whatever pain relief she wants for that particular labour in her particular circumstances, from nothing to general anaesthesia, as soon as she wants it. And not be judged or forced into anything she doesn't want because of crap maternity care (one midwife to seven women = much more need for epidurals).

[edam]

or 'worst' even... sigh...

[Angeliz]

sigh.....edam, yopur sister sounds very competetive!!

[mogwai]

Angeliz...your comment "what did you mean by that?" with angry emoticon.....not sure who you were aiming it at...if it was me, I meant, aren't you glad you aren't insecure. Aren't you glad you can have a laugh at it all and stay chilled out?

Then again, the angry emoticon makes me think twice

[Lizzylou]

I was adamant I wasn't going to use drugs in labour and wouldn't have if hadn't been for the fact that DS got stuck and I had to have a ventouse delivery and epidural, if I hadn't he would have died.....this time round I am tempted to have the epidural from the off, it was such a bleesed relief when it took hold!
I have also always thought I had a high pain threshold, but was in no way prepared for my first contractions, they were so rapid (all randonly within 3/5/7mins of each other) and painful, I was in agony, lying in the bath for 12 hours with no pain relief and wondering when it was all going to end, this was before "labour" set in!!! They were nothing like period pains....
I am so in awe of all women who have given birth, however they did it and with whatever pain relief methods, or not as the case may be....motherhood has taught me to be much less judgmental!

[tiredemma]

apoligies hunker, i only added my comment to the thread, i was not sneering at your choice to go without pain relief, i was stating that if someone finds childbirth excrutiating painful and drugs are available to relieve this then why not have them. I never once implied that people who dont have pain relief do it because they are "simple"


Angeliz- my comment about "strong man comp" was absolutly a toungue in cheek comment.

[tiredemma]

plus you will see that i "take my hat off" to people who give birth without pain relief, i dont view them as odd for choosing to do so, im just too much of a wimp to go through it.

[hunkermunker]

Don't worry, TE - it wasn't so much comments on this thread as them being much paler repetitions of what people in RL have said to me. Some people in RL can be quite offensive about it

[tiredemma]

oh ok, hate feeling that i have offended people, especially on things like this.

[Em32]

It doesn't matter. I have to admit I am one of those who went through it with absolutely nothing and am a bit evangelical about the experience (not on here I might add). But that doesn't mean it wasn't bl**dy painful and I didn't expect to be able to do it - I had planned that I might need the full works but was flexible. It is your body, your pain threshold and your decision.