WHY is such a big deal made if you use drugs in labour?

[hamster]

I'm a little curious as to why so many women think that because you have pethidine/epidural/any other drug, you are a bit of a wimp.

I had an epidural during my last labour, and continuously people have felt the urge to comment. Things such as "Oh I did it with just gas and air", or "A friend of mine went through labour with absolutely nothing"

I do appologise if I do sound petty, but it really puts a dent into your confidence
My sister has just been through labour, a couple of days ago, and I know that this will be one of the main topics of conversation next time I see the family, as such a big deal was made of it before the birth.

At the end of the day, I would have thought that as long as you have a healthy baby at the end of it, what does it matter?

Coldtea, I have had fillings without pain relief. I preferred to get it over and done with and not have a mouth that felt like a blue baboon's bum for hours afterwards!

My mother in law does as she is allergic to local anaethetics. Sometimes people )like HM don't have pain relief because it would be worse than the pain.

I had a shocking reaction to a lumbar puncture, so no way were they going near my spine with a needle unless the pain was unbearable. That was very motivating, and the pain never got unbearable.

hunkermunker "Hats off to you" emoticon. You're a better woman than me.

Yes, Aragon, Willow and I fight like cats over who gets to talk to him and send each other ner-ner-ner emails about it!

No, I'm really not. I just have a high pain threshhold (question of having to when each period I have had since I was about 18 was worse than labour - total unrelenting agony for several days)

Really nice man. I worked with him before he was a consultant and he was one of the nicest and most competent obstetricians I ever worked with. W"ould love to have been near where he's working when I had DS.

Aragon, that's really reassuring to know, as I was hoping I wasn't letting my lower urges get in teh way of my professional need for an obstetrician to talk to sometimes. He is also very reassuring on things like home births, which is I would imagine relatively unusual for someone in his job.

I always have a mouth full of injections if I need a filling but have managed to give birth three times with only gas and air. I'm not saying it didn't hurt but it's a totally different sort of pain somehow.

I am a wimp, i used to get dh to take the morning off to hold my hand when i had a blood test .

Hunkermunker-that is great, i won't have any work done on my teeth without sedation!

I think the comparison with fillings or root canal work is misleading. No, I wouldn't have either of those done without pain relief. I haven't had miscarriages without pain relief either. But if I'm hoping to give birth to a live one, I feel bound not to introduce it to drugs and medication before it's even drawn breath. I laughed at SoupDragon's post, but heroin, cocaine and pethidine are all opiates - and pethidine has been shown to cross the placenta in four minutes from injection. There has also been some research showing a link between early exposure to opiates and drug addiction later in life. Ditto problems with breastfeeding. There was an article on Reuters a few days ago about how Fentanyl taken during labour can have a negative impact on breast-feeding; apparently this is in some epidurals.

I don't look down on women seeking pain relief during labour - in a holier-than-thou way - but I'm personally planning to go out of my way to seek other pain relief (being in water, for instance) to minimise the possibility of my wanting pethidine. Hopefully, I'll be at home anyway, where an epidural is not an option. I'm doing this for the same reasons that I haven't been swigging gin for the last eight months (or at least - only a thimble at a time... ).

As in most things i think it should be each to their own .
I don't judge my sister who had everything going when she was in labour for 36 hours, i had 2 very quick and painful labours , i managed with gas and air but both times the midwife was just sent for the pethedine when i pushed them out. (Infact both times she had it in her hand! )

I don't think anyone should be judgemental about women having pain releif but by the same standard, i don't think people should be called martyrs or mocked for not having either.

Does it really matter if we pop out healthy babies?
smile]

The reason i chose to try with just gas and air was because the thought of a needle in my back terrifies me and i didn't want to feel groggy with pethedine.

Only 5% of babies are born without pain relief so if anyone gives you grief you are very unlucky to meet one of the 5%.

I had my first with everything following on from an induction and I felt like a failure for quite a while afterwards. I felt like I had let down my ds as Forceps were used to pull him out probably due to epidural.

My second was born with no pain relief (I got to hosp too late) but I did ask for everything they had which the midwives ignored. I was in much better shape after the second birth and had no guilt feelings.

I used to play competetive sport and I can honestly say that I have never seen anything like the competition you see once you enter the arena of motherhood.

Eaney, not all of the 5% will give other women grief though!

But I have been sneered at for not having pain relief - not a pleasant experience. I've got a larger chance of that happening too - potentially 95% of women I meet!!

i have had epidurals with both my (induced) births & feel no guilt whatsoever about it. healthy baby & healthy mum is all that matters to me at the end of the day. i have diabetes & have very medically managed pregnancies & births. thank god for epidurals i say!

I got so carried away and so tired I forgot to ask for any pain relief with dd, only to end up with a failure to progress after pushing at full dilation for 3 hours and a stuck baby! Ended up emergency cs with epidural. ds was a planned section as the pelvis was too small.

I agree that each birth and each baby is different and you just let your body tell you what you need.

I didn't have epidurals as I was more scared of them than I was of the labour. I have low blood pressure, migraines and back problems which are all no-no's, plus the idea of having a ruddy great needle stuck in my back didn't fill me with joy! I didn't like the idea of being immobile either and I wanted to get out of the hospital ASAP after the births.

For me the labour was painful, but not enough to overwhelm the fear I had regarding epidurals. I don't think I've ever looked down on anyone for having one though.

At the risk of being contraversial (ducks quickly) I would say that notions like 'a healthy mother and a healthy baby are all that matters' are all very well - but what exactly does that mean? One could argue that there are some conditions of objective health which are comparatively less healthy than others (a new baby being off its face on opiates, for instance - as I was myself, when my mother was injected with pethidine without her consent).

Agree that "a healthy mother and healthy baby are all that matters" can be used as a convenient excuse for all manner of dreadful interventions in the name of safe birth.

What I mean by that is that sometimes women and babies are subjected to all kinds of intervention they may not have needed if only they'd had adequate midwifery support. To then say "well at least you're alive and you've got a healthy baby" adds insult to injury.

A healthy mum and baby are the most important thing but the mum needs to be left psychologically and emotionally healthy too.

I had an epidual and I knew I really really wanted one

I knew I was going to have epidural at noon, before then I was climbing the walls, not able to sit, stand, lie down and then when a M/W came in to ask how I was, just said fine and then when she went out again climbing the walls etc. DH kept saying why don't you tell them??? I still don't know why I didn't say anything

I was sooooooo glad that I did have an epidural cos I could then enjoy labour and I could feel the contrations

Also as it was twins and DT2 kept spinning round spending most of his time breech and came out feet first {if I had not had epidural and then had to have a C/S with GA I wouldn't have been able to spend time with DT1 before he died}

BTW I always have fillings without injection cos I hate the needle they use and hate having dribbly mouth afterwards. {I donate blood so am not afraid of needles}

I think each to her own. The problem comes when there's so much judgement about what's 'best' or what's 'right'. Surely that must vary from person to person as all people are different. Someone mentioned that certain drugs during labour can affect breastfeeding but let's not forget that not everyone wants to breastfeed either. But that's a whole different argument!

I'm suffering with the judgement at the moment. Had an emergency section with my first baby for failure to progress after every intervention possible. I was quite happy with my birth experience though as I felt in control of the situation, cared for and not frightened and DS came out healthy and happy. Had decided for an elective section with this baby but started an antenatal yoga class to ease my pregnancy aches & pains and hopefully make recovery even faster than last time.

For the first time, I've felt feelings of guilt over my choice of C-section. I was asked to discuss my first labour with the yoga class and then was told point by point what was done 'wrong'. In the end I felt quite embarrassed and didn't know what to say. I was then told that I should opt for a home birth this time around to avoid being 'forced' into another section. I felt so uncomfortable I just kept my mouth shut about my elective C-section.

It's an awkward situation as I love the benefits I'm getting from the yoga and want to continue but do feel judged every week. Of course, I'll do whatever I think is best for me, my baby and family but I don't think it's very nice to put someone in such an awkward situation. Especially when they're taking the class to make themselves feel better!

I'd recommend an epidural to anyone, I went from a wailing, foul mouthed banshee to normal calm collected person in 20 mins. I can clearly remember gassing to the midwife about Christmas shopping and celebrities while DP was spark out in the corner.

Tex

Sorry that some daft bints are making you feel bad - you really shouldn't.

Lots of them will have their births not go as they plan - most of the deal with being happy about how birth is being open to suggestion during it and if they have fixed ideals about a perfect birth, they are likely to be disappointed!

i totally agree with you hamster, lots of poeple asked before my ds was born if i was going to do it totally natural, but if you ask me i think anyway of giving birth is a totally natural thing no matter what drugs you have. i used gas and air and then had an epidural for the birth of ds, and it was the best thing i could have done, it made it such a nicer experience for me and dp (although i know it can lead to lots of intervention in some cases , so i was lucky i guess) as i was relaxed and i don't see the point of being in pain when you don't have to be.

im sorry to hear people have dented your confidence, i think every woman who gives birth should be so proud because it is such a huge thing to go through, no matter how the birth actually went ie drugs, intervention etc.