Totally's Grads Part Deux - Let's handhold through pregnancy after MC

[LeeWT]

So many threads by so many names but this thread is a place to come after TTC after MC..

Deposit your worries in the box by the door and grab a cuppa! :-)

I think i am going to change my antenatal care from QE woolwich to QM Sidcup after my twenty week scan on the 4th may. My friend from church Charlotta is a midwife and she is doing my community care as don't want to go to a woolwich clinic for that when i have one at the end of my road. She is seeing me on monday to hear bubs heartbeat and check me out etc then apparently it is really easy to make a referral to QM for my care after that. They have MLBU there which the other hosp don't and in her opinion it is a nicer place to give birth than QE.

I would def like her to be involved in my care/birth as i trust her and know that she will not think i am crackers when i start praying ha ha.

i couldn't get my wedding rings on this morning....how ridiculous is that at 17.2wks...going to try and cut back on salt and artificial sweetners as i am really retaining water...any other suggestions for me ladies?

How did our scan ladies go today??

xxx

HOOPS lovely pictures .Hes lovely arh......

Effilump how did your scan go?

Mine is at 8.40 tomorrow. I keep reading threads about miscarriage and getting upset & emotional - I just can't help myself. I think it is because I got pg roughly 2 weeks after my miscarriage in January and don't really feel like I have "dealt" with it, or whatever it is I am supposed to do.
I am crying a bit now, because even though I am pregnant I still feel really sad. Which makes me feel a bit guilty too.
And of course I am worried it will happen again, it's not like 12 weeks is a magic number or anything.

Sorry for going on. Thank god I can't drink wine, would be an absolute wreck. I think that is the real reason pg women are forbidden to drink....

Good luck DOMESTICGODDESS fingers crossed X

mrsR sorry you are feeling so crap, hope you feel better!

funny how a lot of our names are criss-crossing over ladies!!

domesticgoddess i know its so easy for me to say but try and stay positive, for this bean.. you'll be fine xxx

boodle OMG similar situation with rings and i honestly look about 6 months pregnant. im only 15 weeks and i cant BELIEVE the bumpness. ive put on about half a stone since getting pregnant but surely the bump cant be all food?! keep meaning to cut down salt but am still a bit sicky and craving same! thats great about your friend living so nearby and being close to you :-)

meita whens your scan!?

wonder whats happened to apples hopes shes ok!

x

My scan yesteryday was shockingly awful, the baby is in there, but the actual sonographer, what a nob. Firstly my oh had to wait outside, never had this before, and i've had many scans, then she mumbles something about a noticable thickening, and I wasnt down for a nuchal scan was I? When I said I was, she then starts arguing with me that I wasnt, but she was going ot do one anyway, because of this thickening, after all that the baby wasnt in the right position, so she sent us off for half an hour, worried sick, I might add, when I got back in, alone again, she didnt speak to me at all, just clicked away, then she called in my oh, for us both to have a 30second view of the baby, fucking bitch, I was fuming.
We then had an hour and a half wait to see the midwife, my BP was sky high I was that stressed when I got in there, only to be told it was ok and the babys nuchal measurement was within normal limits (3mm) Why couldnt the sonographer tell me that?
Everything else went fine, but when I got home I noticed the sonographer had also noted 'cystic hygromatous changes cannot be excluded' What the hell does that mean??? and why has nobody bothered to explain it to me! I was looking foreward to announcing the pregnancy, but now im more confused and pissed off than ever.
Sorry for the rant.

effilump am very for you, can you not get a second opinion and make it known you're not happy? Sometimes sonographers forget that this is the most important time for the patient but for them it's a job which they do day in, day out.........glad to hear baby is where it should be and hope you manage to get a second scan with a nicer sonographer

Im going to have to see someone about it hoops Im not due to see the midwife again for another six weeks, I cant wait and worry that long. Im just pacifying myself with the thought that if it was anything serious, they would have wanted another scan, or checkup sooner,the midwife checked with the consultant as to my care plan, as im 40 I assume, and im on normal midwife led care, not consultant led, so thats a good sign, right?!

Effilump that is horrible! Really really unfair and unkind and makes me proper upset for you. Hope you get some proper support soon - I should complain, that's what the Patient's charter is for isn't it? Bastards.

End of rant...

Hoops baby Ben is soooo cute - want a baby now

Buffy's feeling veeeery sick today, keep telling myself it's a good thing - the days when I don't feel so sicky I start worrying... so it's a no win situation really! And i swear my tum's getting bigger, although it can't be yet, surely?! Blaming water retention and hoping I pass muster for the next 6 weeks as i'm not planning on sharing this with ANYONE in rl until I know everything's ok. And breathe. Oh and Tea Is Horrible.
Bleurgh.

Happy Thursdays xxx

effilump announce your pregnancy and be happy .

Try not to worry any more than the sodding sonographer has already made you.

The sonographer sounds like a complete bastard for what he/she did to you. Completely unacceptable. You should definately complain. I'm so sorry you went through that.

Firstly, your DH should not have been told to wait outside .

Secondly, he/she shouldn't have said anything about the thickening if you hadn't wanted the nuchal scan and it sounds like they were wrong anyway.

It really makes me angry the way the NHS treat pregnant women.

Effilump, I too am very on your behalf. That is just not on!

The only thing I can imagine is that the sonographer thought you were there for something else (something where they don't usually have partners in the room) and was then not capable of admitting her mistake/mix-up. That would explain her reluctancy to do the nuchal measurement and to talk to you about it. Perhaps she thought you were there to be checked out for those "cystic hygromatous changes"? And was worried she'd be blamed for not picking up on them... Or something. Anyway, it is NOT an excuse. It would have taken a minimum of listening to you to clear everything up... I get SO annoyed at health people just not listening to their patients.
They found a cyst on my left ovary in my 12 week scan. They just measured it out and put a note in the notes, so that at the next scan they could check on it again; and told me to see the GP if I developed strong pains. At the 20 week scan they had a hard time finding it; they only did because they knew from the notes that it was there. They measured it again (roughly same size) and told me not to worry. I think it's completely unacceptable for them to not discuss it with you though!

I think you should make an unscheduled appointment with your midwife. They will see you out of schedule if you ask for it. Then go in with a list of questions. Make sure you get your answers! The midwife might also be able to explain how you could go about a complaint.
(Questions: -why did they check for "cystic hygromatous changes? -what does the result mean "cannot be excluded"? -what are they? -why did nobody discuss this with me? -why did they not let my hubby in? -how can I complain? ...)

On the other hand, such good news that the baby is well and everything is as it should be! Try to hold on to that if nothing else Getting past the 12 week scan is such a huge step. So awful of your sonographer to have so utterly spoilt the experience for you .

Effilump - echo what the others have said - what an utter bitch that woman was....glad to hear that baby is in the right place tho and i really hope you get your answers and feel more settled soon.....announce it and be happy! you are on your way!!

Domestic goddess - what news?

I just added a photo of Matthew on my profile for you all to see. We're doing OK - breastfeeding is proving pretty knackering, especially at night. Hopefully we'll improve as the days go by...

Hope everyone else is doing OK.

Hello all, so sorry Effilump to hear about your bad experience, but congratulations, hopefully you can forget about nasty sonographer and that there is nothing wrong.

I had a good scan this morning. Very quick, but all as it should be. Also had a blood test so get the results in a couple of weeks. Am very relieved and feel like I can start telling a few more people.

Hi Ladies! emphatically] At long last I can join you all here on the grads thread. Was going to wait for a bit just to be sure, but a)it's been a week and I'm excited and b) there are a LOT of gals on the mc thread and it's hard to keep up!

Congrats hoops, he's sooo cute!

effi, that does sound like a nightmare scan. I second that you go in to talk with someone to get some answers!

Congrats DG on your uneventful and reassuring scan. That's a great feeling.

I'm in the very early stages here, 4w5d I believe. Anyway I'm actually looking for a bit of reassurance from you gals. Had blood drawn for hcg/beta levels. At 4w1d was 491, then 48 hours later at approx 1200. Of course I can't just trust the nurse that the levels are good, I googled it to find out that it's quite high and that can sometimes be a sign of a molar pregnancy (or twins but I'm fixated on the scary possibility). Anyway boodle, I thought I remembered you saying your levels were somewhat high early on, is that true? Anyone have levels to compare with me?

Also, am on a weekend getaway in Chicago with dh for his work (he is a brewer). Anyway, it's the World Beer Cup, and I can't drink beer!!! Have parties to attend the next three nights. Hoping to order non-alcoholic brews and slip under the radar. Wish me luck!

Sorry to bring a big worrywart factor with my first post! So glad to be here with you all!

zayja - go to www.betabase.org and you can obsess there looking at their charts all you like....i was totally obsessed with HCG in the early days . mine were quite high but turned out to be just the one bubba in there...thank goodness....

oh and WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME

amyboo - i dont think the picture of Matthew has uploaded as i can't see it....of course i could just be blind....

DG - really glad that your scan was normal....aren't we all soooo lucky to have babies in the right place...

Yay Zayja - best of welcomes! Amyboo and Hoops have just been sharing round their sticky vibes, as they have no more use for them... help yourself to a generous share!

I hope BB will be joining us soon too To keep you all some company down there at the bottom of the list...

Memory, Jacanne, Becky ... how does it feel to suddenly be all at the top of the list? I hope you're all doing well. Let us know how you're getting on...

Hi Ladies,

Could I join this thread please? I've been on the MC thread and been a total scardy cat about coming in here but today I've hit 6 weeks and hoping by joining this thread I'll be more positive..

I had an MC in Feb and got pg straight away with no cycle in between which obviously we are huge hugely thankful for but also worried and nervous but just so happy too. It's just so so so scary.

Had some horrible pains yesterday that made me worry but thankfully seems to be okay today so fingers and toes and everything crossed for all of us.

I seem some familiar faces here (waves to Zayja and Unbuffy - sorry it took me so long to join you girls)..

Feels like an absolute century before 12 weeks but there we go.. good to be in this position though obviously hugely thankful. Keep wishing little bean to stick really well and grow grow grow. I do think I'm going slightly crazy!

Hello to all

Hi Zayja! How's it hanging? I agree, I get reeeeally confuzled on t'other thread now, even though I've been lurking rather. And feel bad about lurking there when I should be over here and i know that they all want to be. iyswim.

Hello everybody else too! Hope you're all enjoying the sunshine.

Well, off to see Outlaws and Inlaws this w/e so I'll be off for a couple of days hiding my tummy and non-drinkingness and hoping nobody notices - will be avoiding them all for the next 5 weeks after this. Then more inlaws coming to see us on Monday and on Tuesday off to tell the doc that i'm up the spout and see what they have to say. And all this while feeling e x h a u t e d ! It never rains, as they say...

Ah well! Have a good weekend all!

Happy crossed posts - good to see you this end of things too! Yay, more early pg-ers to moan and be terrified with! (slightly mad grin)

Hi everyone,

I'm finally back in the UK after horrible french farm house in the middle of nowhere. Thank God!

Five months with no one but ds, dd, preoccupied husband and Demented MIL to talk to. Got most sense from 2-year-old dd.

Was a bit down after losing one twin, but have just had scan in UK yesterday (none in France) and everything is okay. Had to have private scan because apparently I missed my "window" for the anomoly scan in the UK. Am 24weeks tomorrow. The baby is 1 and a half pounds and seems fine, despite an earlier scan after the other baby didn't make it, and the femer length was below average..

Been in Suffolk for 10 days and have, in no particular order, found a house, found a school for ds (very nice small CofE primary) in next village, found a nursery for dd to trial some mornings, found best swimming pool, football and tennis clubs, playgroups, found a GP, seen a midwife for a first appointment (at 23 weeks they thought that was highly irregular) so finally have maternity notes, made appointments for Demented MIL to see specialists (soon I hope, as her dementia is progressing and she hit me the other day when I tried to take her clothes for washing, so time to ship her out I think) and all the usual domestic stuff.. so been busy. Dh, on the other hand, has, er, rung a few people to say he is back and to set up a few "lunches".

Meita, you must be only 4 weeks behind me?

Oh, and she's a girl!

Welcome back APPLES congrats on your "girl" and hopefully you re settling back in.

Hi to UNBUFFY,ZAYJA AND HAPPYGIRL nice to see you all [big waves].

Hope everyone else is well.Work still really crap had a row with my manager today.Please allow me a little rant "fat, stupid bitch"

Thats better!!!!Thank god its the weekend!!!

Welcome happy! Have a piece of cake and make yourself comfortable - I hope you will be hanging around for a long, boring time! Oh and, hop on the list whenever you feel ready. Same counts for Zayja of course!

And welcome back Apples! Very good to hear from you, and congrats to your girl! Sounds like you had an intense time. I do hope things will settle down a bit now... hopefully your DH will help a bit!
Yep, I'm 21+ weeks now, counting down to viability at 24w
Why on earth are you not on the list? You must go on immediately! (Says me, fully selfishly - am terrified of being on the top for 3.5 long months once Becky, Jacanne and Memory all graduate...)
And while we're on the topic of the list, I was wondering if you'd like to have your lost twin included in our new commemoration section. I'd be all for it, but it's really up to you - perhaps you'd rather not have the constant reminder?

DG good news, your scan - very glad to hear it!

Louise I do hope things ease up at work soon. But for now, enjoy the weekend!

And here's the list as it is at the moment:

Friday

Memorylapse - GIRL 36+4 wks - due 4th May, induction scheduled for 37/38 weeks
Jacanne - GIRL - 36+1 wks - due 29th April/6 May
Becky78 - baby#1 - ??? - 35+3 wks, due 12th May
Meita - baby#1 - (not telling) - 21+3 wks, due 17th August - dream holiday starts 18th April
Boodleboot - baby#3 - 1DD {10} 1DS {5} - 17+4 wks - due 16th Sept 20wk scan - 4th May
TFLS - baby#1 - 16+1 wks, due 29 Sept
LeeWT - baby#2 (DD1 2yrs) 15+2 wks, due 30th Sept - 20 week scan 24th May
Louisesh - baby#1, 15+1 wks, due 1st Oct
MrsRigby - baby#2 (DS 15 months), 13+1 wks, EDD 14th October
Effilump - baby#5 (ds 22,15,16mnths. dd13) 12+4 wks EDD 18th Oct
SamanthaB123 baby#3(2x DD's 11 & 9 yrs) 12+3 wks, EDD 20th October, dating scan & nuchal test 13.04.10, 20 week scan 07.06.10
Sarahlou8 - baby#3 (DD 11, DS 9) 11+6 wks, EDD 23rd October
DomesticGOddess - baby#? 11+6 wks, EDD 22nd October, 12week scan on 8th April
emmielou81 - baby#5 (DS 6, DD 3) - 11+1 wks, EDD 28th October
Unbuffy - baby#2 (DD 15 months) - 6+3 wks

We share the pain and mourn the loss with:
Jollster - one DC, two babies lost, recent MMC w9/@11, 26th Feb
Cheepz - one DS, recent MMC w9, 26th March
Freezing - one DD, recent MC w11, 28th March

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:
Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010

hello all, I thought it was about time you heard the gory details of Ben's birth.....well here goes...

I was taken in to hospital on the wednesday night (31st March) and was given an internal to see what was happening, I was only back to 1 cm dilated so was given a prostan pessary and left to get on with it, so went to sleep and woke up feeling great on the Thursday morning, so was given another internal and was told my cervix was sofening but had not dilated anymore so was given another prostan pessary, and the midwife gave me a very uncomfortable sweep which caused me to bleed quite heavily, anyway at about midday on thursday was put on the monitor and it was found that the prostan had overstimulated my uterus and was not able to be given a 3rd pessary cause this might cause the baby distress, so had to sit out some quite bizarre contractions, so went to sleep on thursday night to be woken up at midnight by some god awful pains, was told by a very arrogant midwife that these were prostan pains and gave me paracetamol and codeine and was told to go back to bed, I tried but the pains were so bad, I took to pacing the corridors and finally at 0410 in the moring staggered to the office and nearly in tears told them I couldn't take it anymore....so she said have a bath, it took the edge of the pains so I stayed in there for 1 and half hours!! So at 0630 was given an internal and was told that I was 2cm dilated and my membranes were bulging, so was told I was going down to delivery suite....hooray, so got down there and they popped my waters at 0910 and was contracting almost immediately every 3 minutes, I was pacing like a caged tiger, the pain was getting worse so I asked for gas and air, what fabulous stuff then I was on the bed and asked for pethedine, at 1214 I was examined and told that I was 10 cm dilated and that I could now get on with pushing so I did and 22 minutes later, little Ben came into the world screaming his little head off!! I had a tiny labial tear which didn't require stitches, which I'm quite happy with.......His apgar score was 9 in the first minute then went to 10 after 5 minutes.......within the hour he had had his first feed, which I had to ask the midwife for help, it took him seconds to latch correctly and we haven't looked back since..... so after about 2 hours of cuddling I had a shower in the delivery suite then went up to the post-natal ward, where Ben took to feeding every 2 hours, which has now changed to every 3 hours now my milk has come in properly

When Ben was born he weighed 7lb 4oz, he was weighed on the Sunday (2 days old) and he had lost 6% of his body weight, which is within the 10% allowed, anyway he was weighed again the other day (5 days old) and he was back up to 7lb 1oz, so all in all he only lost 3% body weight so feeding is going great and we're both really happy

Sorry for the gigantic post but no doubt you all love a good birth story

OK - I fixed the photo problem so you should be able to see it now...