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Male Midwives - Would You Mind ?

93 replies

hub2dee · 12/06/2005 09:51

Just wondering, quick yes / no / reason ...

DW: "It depends. On the person... how they make you feel"

expatinscotland answered just now on a different thread:

"Male or female, I wouldn't care as long as he/she were helping me get the baby OUT! "

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 12/06/2005 09:54

Would prefer a woman and a woman who'd given birth at that. But I won't ever be doing it again, yay!

anchovies · 12/06/2005 09:54

Wouldn't mind at all, some female midwifes made me just as uncomfortable as any male could, think it depends on the person and their personality. Met enough lovely male doctors along the way and the male midwife I met was much more sympathetic to the pain I was in than the female midwife, made me feel much more heroic!

Fran1 · 12/06/2005 09:56

Have to say i would prefer a woman, childbirth is possibly the one and only time i'd say that. Purely cos they would have some chance of understanding what you're going through!

Having said that, once in labour, if a male midwife walked in i wouldn't care less, as long as there is someone there to get the baby out

Fran1 · 12/06/2005 09:56

Do you have to become a midhusband?

hester · 12/06/2005 09:57

Animal, vegetable or mineral fine with me, so long as they're kind and keep their hands warm.

stitch · 12/06/2005 10:07

absolutely no problem.
but having said that, when i asked for help with breastfeeding ds1 and this gorgeous muscular, 6 foot hunk cam along, i had to tell him i couldnt accept his help the childbirth part, no problem the breastfeeding. big problem

beetroot · 12/06/2005 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SueW · 12/06/2005 10:10

Not midhusband midwife = 'with woman'

juicychops · 12/06/2005 10:20

i didnt want male midwife as the though tmade me very self concious and embarraced but whilst giving birth i had about 3 in the room and i was in too much pain to care in the slightest. it wouldnt bother me the next time

watso313 · 12/06/2005 10:23

The first midwife (?) i had on the ward after having my twins was male, and i must say i have never met a nicer or more helpful midwive(?) I got the impression that he tried harder because he didnt want to embaress, offend anyone, although i do admit to being embarressed when he had to help me in the shower although i think i would have felt like that even if he had been a woman. The twins weren't b/f very well to start with and he spent about an hour in my room watching big brother whilst cup feeding the babies and cooing over them, what an absolute sweetie.

HappyHuggy · 12/06/2005 10:29

I wouldnt have a male midwife, unless it was an emergency and there was no one else around to help.

I would feel embarrassed and self concious, (sp?) and would much prefer a woman. Even better if shes a mother herself.

(saying that, i wouldnt mind a male midwife for the non-intimate stuff, like anti-natals)

macwoozy · 12/06/2005 10:34

I had a male midwife at hospital, and apart from initial feeling of embarrasment, that soon went when the pain appeared. I couldn't have cared who it was by then.

Enid · 12/06/2005 10:35

yes I would mind

I would much prefer a woman

nutcracker · 12/06/2005 10:35

Wouldn't care.

Lonelymum · 12/06/2005 10:37

I don't think I would mind because I think that for a man to want to be a midwife in the first place, he would probably have to be a certain sort of person and that would be the sort that would make me feel at ease. TBH, after the first momentary embarrassment of taking off my knickers and sticking my bum in the air, I can't say the embarrassment factor came into it at all. As Expat said, as long as they were getting the baby out, who cares?

DS1 was delivered with forceps by a huge black male doctor with hands the size of dinner plates. His first pull on the forceps had me half way down the bed! But I am eternally grateful to him!

ScummyMummy · 12/06/2005 10:40

I'd prefer a woman but wouldn't feel strongly enough to boot him out on his ear, unless he happened to be a twatweevil as well as a male.

whymummy · 12/06/2005 10:43

i wouldn't mind at all,when dd was born i was asked if i would mind if a young man watched,he was a soldier going to Kosovo(drop dead gorgeous too) and would have to assist births over there,i didn't mind,i even had to use one of his hips to help me push so he ended up watching the whole thing,he had tears in his eyes and told me it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen(the birth,that is)lol

Thomcat · 12/06/2005 10:44

No I don't think I'd m in d. I'd probably me a bit taken aback at first having nev er seen a male midwife and after I'd got my head round it, as long as he was good and I liked him there is no reason for me to feel unhappy about it. I think being totally honest I might be initially happier if I had a female midwife but probably only initially.
If I was to paint a picture of my perfect midwife I'd like her to a bit chubby, in her 40s/50s with a kind face, maybe an irish, scottish or jamaican accent with big soft hands!

Lonelymum · 12/06/2005 10:44

Whymummy, that is the oddest reason I have ever heard! Are you sure you were conned?

whymummy · 12/06/2005 10:45

that's what they told me lol

Lonelymum · 12/06/2005 10:47

He sounds a natural anyway. At my last birth, there was a very young medical student watching (female) and when it came to the pushing part, I had to lunge for her hand to squeeze (dh was on the other side getting the same treatment). I thought even then, she doesn't really know what a woman in labour wants, but I suppose I taught her that day!

Prufrock · 12/06/2005 10:52

If I was ever to have a vaginal birth, like www I would prefer a woman who had been there done that. And I think the best bf ccunsellors are women who have breastfed. But it's their lack of personal experience that puts me off male midwives, rather than their maleness. I was perfectly happy to have male midwives for my antenatal care, male doctors for my c-section, and male peadeatricians to check my baby

suzywong · 12/06/2005 10:53

agree with lonleymum's point about a man having to be a certain type of man to want to be a midwife in the first place

Of course, ideally, and sadly very exclusively, all midwives would be women who had children.

And I'd like midwives, regardless of gender to have a least a drop of human kindess and not be overtly racist like the one that refused to help me wash when I was covered in blood in the middle of the night but couldn't do enough for the non-white woman in the next bed or the one who refused to give me codene orally and made me use a suppository but not the non white women. Sorry TMI, was ranting a bit.

IME the male doctors, and often African ones too, are much nicer than the female ones on a labour ward.

hub2dee · 12/06/2005 10:56

All v. interesting...

I wonder if the same feelings exist about male consultant obstetricians...

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 12/06/2005 10:57

Yes- I feel similarly about the doctors. Prefer female but nice male will do.

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