Male Midwives - Would You Mind ?

[hub2dee]

Just wondering, quick yes / no / reason ...

DW: "It depends. On the person... how they make you feel"

expatinscotland answered just now on a different thread:

"Male or female, I wouldn't care as long as he/she were helping me get the baby OUT! "

I had a male midwife initially with dd. He was so nice I wrote into the hospital to let them know. Initially I was a bit embarassed when he was checking things out and dh beside me, but he was so professional those feeling evaporated in seconds.

I think I have to agree with depends who it is and what they were like. I mean I had experience of some not very nice female midwives when having ds.
I also saw a lot of men for my pre-natal care and had examinations and things. As long as they are good at there job then I suppose that's all that matters really. Although you do feel more comfortable with another woman as we have the same "bits"

Personally I would prefer a woman - for similar reasons as already stated by others. But would rather have an experienced male MW than a inexperienced childless female MW regardless of personality. I would need to feel I totally trusted my MWs and that a pleasant personality is a bonus.
Only experienced female MWs though, plenty of male GPs and various consultants/specialists in the last frantic minutes of labour with DD1 and 2. At that stage didn?t care - just needed to feel they could do their job - fast!

The male midwife in our team is fantastic - definately a very special person who has found his calling in midwifery. He attended to me immediately after DS was born by emergency c-section. Okay he wasn't there during the birth but he changed pads etc. He was brilliant. My friend has had one of her 5 delivered by him and she also rates him highly. My husband thinks male midwifes are great. Been showed how to bath and care for your first baby by another man was very good for him. I've not long had DD (VBAC) and won't be going through it all again but if I did I'd be hoping for a male midwife if he was anything like the one I've already had experience of.

i have very medically managed pregnancies, have yet to see a midwife this time... wouldn't mind a male one though, with everyone else's provisos. nearly clocked my male obstetrician the other day though, when he said "oh, you've given birth before, we should be able to give you jelly beans & you'll go into labour." oh yeah, & you've done it have you????? i also have a female obstetrician who i like a lot more (the guy is actually perfectly nice, & i'm sure a good doctor) as she's had 3 children, & doesn't think i'm being neurotic when i ask dim questions.

My first thoughts would be to say a woman but when I gave birth there were 2 reg's and they were both male. One was right at the end of the bed getting an eyeful ready to resuscitate dd so I supppose it doesn't matter.

I agree strongly with what your dw says as the midwife I had throughout my pregnancy wasn't very nice.

I had a very young male midwife (not literally!) when I gave birth to my daughter. He came on shift mid way through the labour and at first I was shocked as I just wasn't expecting a young guy to walk in but I was about 6 cm by that time so wasn't really too bothered. He was great and basically let me get on with it with just some encouragement at the pushing stage. It all went well and I certainly had no complaints but if someone asked me my preference, it would be for a female, don't ask me why.

I would not want a male midwife under any circumstances - however on ds1 labour i had a hard time and it ended up the Reg who delivered anyway and it was a case of 'get this bloody thing out!!!!' however, the 'midwife' has such a different role than the reg who just came in at the end. My midwife was a complete bitch and we made a formal complaint afterwards over how she spoke to me - since foundout she took early retirement following .
But, I would still say even if extremely qualified, I still wouldn't want a male midwife (i think its an odd job for a bloke but that does sound a little sexist especially from a nurse, whoops!!!). Anyway, just my opinion!

I wouldn't have minded a male midwife at all, as long as they were empathic, competent, caring and knew what they were doing. The female midwives who were there whilst I was in labour with dd were, to a woman, cold, distant and distinctly umsympathetic, so it doesn't always follow that female midwives are more empathic.

I don't think that it's the case that a certain type of man would want to become a midwife and that should be a cause for being uneasy; many obstetricians are men too, but I can't see the same reasoning being applied to them.

Message withdrawn

i had a male midwife at one point during my labour - he was the one who broke my waters! He was really funny and easy to get a long with!

Not sure if i would like a man i didnt feel comfortable with though.... but then again, there are a few female midwives i dont feel comfortable with so no pleasing me really!

nope

Nah!

Reason: having birthed 5 babies and seen the amount of pole that come in and out of a delivery room I have to wonder if it really matters what sex the midwife is as opposed to a caring someone supporting you through and getting your baby out safely.

I had a friend that wanted to be a midwife, a guy. Sadly he changed his mind. I would have had him deliver me. One of the nicest blokes I've ever met!

amount of people

i agree ML and ive only had one - i was in hospital for 2 days and you really dont caer who looks up there in the end as long as you get a baby at the end of it - or 2 in your case!

To be honest, I'd prefer a female midwife just for my own comfort. However, in the event when you are begging and climbing the walls I doubt it would cross your mind to care!!

Luckily, 3 times is my max so no more now!!

My sister had a male midwife for her 2nd pregnancy - she thought he was great. There aren't many of them around though are there?

Agree with dw. First reaction 'no' as birth is very much a woman thing... but then there are some really awful female midwives (and some great, of course) so as long as the individual concerned was compassionate, respected their patients and knew their job then maybe not.

Don't mind male midwives at all. Would judge a person on their prof capacity to do a good job not by their gender.

No problem. Depends on the personality not the gender.

My community midwife was an evil woman. Fortunately she's retired now and had nothing to do with the birth of DS.

She showed no interest in babies and little interest in women. Wonder why she did the job, really.

I had 2 male obstretians, 2 midwives (female) and 1 female pedeatrician for birth of ds and I didn't care by that point

Interesting.

It wouldn't bother me particularly. Might feel a bit taken aback at first but they're fully trained and have seen it all before so what does it matter? I have given birth twice and it doesn't make me more "emotionally qualified" than a fully tained male midwife to assist a woman give birth. My labours were not identical to any another woman so why should I understand better they're going through? At the end of the day, I'd rather have someone who knew what they were doing rather than trying to overlay their own experience of labour onto mine.

What I mean is a male midwife will have no preconceptions about what labour feels like so can't possibly think you're making a fuss or whatever.