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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Male Midwives - Would You Mind ?

93 replies

hub2dee · 12/06/2005 09:51

Just wondering, quick yes / no / reason ...

DW: "It depends. On the person... how they make you feel"

expatinscotland answered just now on a different thread:

"Male or female, I wouldn't care as long as he/she were helping me get the baby OUT! "

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Hausfrau · 13/06/2005 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pabla · 13/06/2005 10:59

Providing they had small hands I wouldn't mind! I probably would have minded the thought of it before I had kids but I know now I couldn't care less when push comes to shove, so to speak.

I had a partially retained placenta after ds1 and I wasn't too impressed with the male obstetrician who "retrieved" it - as he approached me to start the procedure he joked that I looked nervous. A midwife quickly asked me if I would like some gas and air - the only pain relief I was offered. It obviously didn't occur to him that I would be feeling a bit tender down below, having just given birth.

AnotherHelen · 13/06/2005 14:16

Well i had every man and his dog in the delivery room when ds1 was born, but i was so drugged and past caring it didnt bother me at all! xxx

handlemecarefully · 13/06/2005 14:19

Well frankly yes, I would rather not to have a male midwife

dillydally · 13/06/2005 14:24

I had a male midwife who gave me a sweep
that said, I actually had a different midwife every time I had a visit - that is because I live in a rough part of east london.

misdee · 13/06/2005 14:26

i had a male student midwife at dd3 borth. he was very good. kept me calm, dh thought he looked like my BIL, but didnt say anything til lafterwards as he said if he told me then i would;ve booted the student out of the room

Ellbell · 13/06/2005 14:31

No problem at all. I had a male obstetrician and he was brilliant (delivered dd1 by c-section). He was also extremely helpful in helping me get a VBAC 2nd time round (e.g. was prepared to write in my notes that I didn't need continuous monitoring). Saw one male midwife when I went in to be monitored with dd2 after a very small amount of bleeding. He seemed really good and competent and I'd have been happy to have had him there when I was giving birth. I think that the embarrassment factor is worse thinking about it in advance than it is at the time. In labour, I really couldn't care less who looked at my 'bits'... as someone else said... as long as they got the baby out....!!!

Gwenick · 13/06/2005 14:34

Wouldn't have a bothered me at all.

I think it's nonsense that a women who's given birth is better 'equipped' to help another women through labour. All labours are different, and everywomen wants different type of 'support' through their labour..........what if the midwife has 5 children, but had 5 'easy' births - and you're having your first and it long, drawnout, painful, problems etc etc?? That women with 5 babies would be no better equipped to help you than a male midwife with the same training! IMO.

Franniban · 13/06/2005 15:09

I wouldn't mind, however, i did have male midwife at part of my labour with ds, and his reputation proceeded him all the way to the anti natal class, and he was a complete arse, but don't think that was because he was a bloke.
My female midwife that was with me at the end didn;t have any children. Ended up having forceps delivery with male doc, and it was fine. Think once things kick off all dignety goes out of the window anyway!

Babe · 16/06/2005 08:34

I had a home birth and because we lived on a boat none of the midwives from the hospital were very keen on being there. So when I went into labour and Vic (male) turned up I was surprised but not too bothered. I kind of felt that birth is messy and embarassing anyway so might as well accept it.

He was there for the whole time and he and my husband were the most fantastic support team I could ever have had. At one point when I was in the water pool (yup had the full works!) and was screaming my head off for about an hour because it helped, their heads were around a foot away from my mouth and NEITHER of them told me to shut up! My husband said afterwards that his ears were ringing for three days aferwards.

I am sure that in a hospital I would have not felt as free to 'express' myself as freely and am still eternally grateful to the pair of them for being there.

Flumpette · 16/06/2005 15:27

Hi. It wouldn't bother me if it were a man. It's the nature and professionalism of the person that counts. I think a bit of TLC is needed but also someone who can be assertive and in control. Man or woman!

smileawhile · 16/06/2005 22:47

As all Midwives in the UK have to be "fit for purpose and fit for practice",as defined by their governing body, at the point of initial registration it should make no difference whether midwife is male or female. As long as they are competent, communicate effectively and the women are safe/protected by their governing body you will get a happy Mum and a healthy baby which is what everyone wants.

Nightynight · 16/06/2005 23:16

male midwives - no thank you. The dialogue goes something like this:

woman: Actually, my dh is Muslim/would kick up a fuss if I had a male midwife // I don't want a male midwife

Hospital: (marks woman as trouble maker) Oh its no problem, you can always specify that you want an all female team.

COME THE BIG DAY...

woman: Um, I did say I wanted an all female team.

Hospital: Oh, these are the only staff that are on duty. Sorry.

CrazyDi · 17/06/2005 02:05

I had a male midwife with both my sons...the same one!! He induced me both times...He made my both stays a hell of alot easier than with my daughter (which was all females) and if i ever had another little monster i would welcome him again!!

triceratops · 17/06/2005 08:37

I don't think that I would care when I was actually in labour but as a community midwife I would prefer a woman. I would feel embarrassed talking about thrush and cystitis and sex and things (and afterwards the state of my lady parts) with a bloke.

Bellie · 17/06/2005 08:47

I had a male midwife and he was the person that gave the most practical and sensible advice out of all the midwives that I saw. I think he had no 'emotional' baggage about breastfeeding or 'the way that I did it was..' that I seemed to get from the female midwives. I loved having him visit for the first couple of days and was dead upset when I had to change to the hv

Hulababy · 17/06/2005 08:50

Before I had DD I would have said that I would prefer a woman only.

However when I went in for induction and then evetually the cs I had so many people prodding poking around me, male and female of varying jobs, and it was mainly men when I was in the op theatre. So next time round I couldn't care!

mummyhill · 17/06/2005 10:24

Don't mind either way as long as they are kind and supportive and get that baby out without a hitch. The most embarassing thing for me was when one of the girls i went to school with turned up as one of the midwives, I was glad that she was only monitoring blood pressure etc whilst my team had a break.

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