A gentle thread for those starting again after a difficult pregnancy, miscarriage etc.

[woollyjo]

I've just discovered I am 5.5 weeks pregnant.

In the last 2 years I have had 2 mcs and our dd2 was stillborn at term.

So I don't feel like I fit into the antenatal threads, and don't want to frighten anyone with my experiences.

Anyone else out there who needs a gentle thread?

Hi willitbe, welcome aboard! I'm only 8 weeks today but I already feel (and look) like I am much further on. Someone give me a pill and wake me up for the 20 week scan please!

Hope everyone else is OK.

Firstly congratulations and fingers crossed for you!
I lost my DD2 at 23 weeks this Septemeber, after 2 miscarriages at 6 and 12 weeks. I would love to be TTC but as we don't have a reason why she died I'm so very nervous of trying again. It's nice (well not nice at all but you get my drift) to know I'm not the only one going through this kind of thing.

Hi Tanglefairy,

So sorry to hear what a terrible time you have been having. It took 13 weeks to hear back after DD2's stillbirth, it was a long wait and in the end they couldn't tell us what happened.

The positive is they don't think it will happen again, but I can't help worrying that they don't know what they are looking for.

I hope your wait isn't too long and that the answers you are given are reassuring (as odd as that sounds in this context).

Hope everyone else is ok.

Hi
I am 7 weeks pregnant but have had 3 miscarriages in last year (the most recent 3 months ago when I gave birth at 18 weeks which was the worst experience of my life). Am totally paranoid that this will go the same way. I do have 2 daughters aged 8 & 6 and they were straight forward pregnancies so recent events have thrown my normal confidence. I have no pregnancy symptons this time except for 2 positive test results. Aaagh!

Hello
I think I belong here. My daughter passed away from an overwhelming infection 22 hours after her birth in April. I needed to get pregnant again to move forward and to have something to look forward to. Well, I am 9 weeks pregnant and I think I am going through a missed MC. I will have my second HCG test tomorrow and second scan on the 9th Nov.

If anyone feels up to it, I started a thread called 'Think I am having a missed MC - pl share your experinces.' Would be grateful for any replies.

x

Hi LillaB - Sorry to hear you've had such a terrible time. Have you asked if you can have an early scan to put your mind at rest that things are ok so far? Wishing you all the best x
Had a cheeky second scan that DH was supposed to come to today but he had to work (got a new job)
Saw a clear fluttery heartbeat again though. Such a nice feeling - just don't want it to stop . . . it's all so scarey.
Hope everyone else is feeling ok xx

Sh77 - fingers crossed for you - hope all is well - can you ask for an earlier scan? x

Sh77 - Hello, so sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I couldn't find your thread (mumsnet or my pc are odd tonight)but I really hope you are wrong. Have you been in touch with your MW yet? would they be able to get in for a scan? (did you get one at 8 weeks? I believe if you have had a previous mc you are entitled to one). Keep us posted - I'll go and hunt for your thread again.

Hi Lilla - are you booked in for a reassurance scan at 8 weeks too? I realise that a good scan result is not the end of your worries but it may help you a bit.

Lunatic - not in the loonie bin yet (unless I am and they are not telling me). Having a low few days, the loss of Niamh seems all of a sudden very fresh again, can't see anything that has triggered it, maybe its hormones. Oh well on we go .....

Hey all,
sh77 - I've just replied to your other thread. Here's hoping that is all works out ok. You should also mention to your consultant that the woman who scanned you was so unhelpful. Pregnancy after a loss is difficult enough without unhelpful / rude sonographers.

Lillia, I hope you have a very quiet and uneventful 9 months. I agree with Wooly, I hope you get an early scan for reassurance. Will you be having consultant lead care?

Onebaby, Glad you got to see that little flutter. Its amazing isnt it. I f I could be I would be constantly strapped to a sonographer for the next 6 months..

Woolly, I hope that things pick up for you soon.
I've also been having a really low few days/ week. Sometimes I struggle to believe that our boy is not coming back, and it all feels very raw and fresh. I do think the hormones make it even tougher. Even though being pg again gives hope it raises all sorts of different emotions and fears.

Well I am now counting the minutes til my nuchal scan on friday and booking app on thursday. Am so scared that something will be wrong.. I guess that just natural. I just wisj people would stop telling me that I shouldn't worry as ds was fine until the birth, and we can cut (literally) that phase out. But I guess when you have lost, you also loose the naivity that normally comes with pregnancy.

speak soon,
rx

Mrsvc - it is so true that when you have lost you loose the naivity that comes with first pregnancies. It is hard to walk the tightrope of will it be ok. I will be thinking of you on friday, and waiting to hear how it went.

Woolyjo - sorry to hear that you are feeling the loss of Niamh so accutely right now. You are probrably right that hormones are making things worse right now for you too.

onebaby - so pleased to hear you got to see that heartbeat again, I am not sure there can be too much reassurance after loss.

sh77 - I have not read your other thread yet, but hope that you are wrong and that you are not losing again. I will try to find and read your other thread after I have posted here.

LillaB - I can really empathise with where you are at at the moment, but I fortunately have strong symptoms to keep me hoping this time again. But I also know that symptoms mean nothing, as I had strong symptoms with my misscarriage back in April this year, so I am not counting it as a fantastic thing, but just a little reminder that there might be hope. I hope that we both get reassurance soon.

It is hard not knowing why the losses happen. It is not easy to live with and gives no reassurance. I hope that we can be of some support to each other here, knowing we are not alone.

Thank you willitbe and mrsvc

I hope to read about all the experiences on this thread. I think I have found a place to snuggle up in here. All the very best to those who are pregnant again. I wish you a safe and healthy 9 months.

I told my consultant about the sonographer and he was pretty shocked about her behaviour and said that she is a lovey woman who he has worked with for 8 years. Well, I am sure she is nice to the consultant. I felt like meat on a conveyor belt. He said that maybe she didn't know about my previous loss but that does not give her the right to be rude to anyone who has not experienced a loss. In the end, he said that maybe I was 'disaffected' from the worry of what was going on. Whatever.

Hi
Just off to see Gp now and see if he can arrange early scan or else we have a private clinic locally which only charges £70 for early scan so will make appt there. Stomach cramps and back ache continuing but no bleeding. Hard to stay positive!
L

Good luck Lilla, let us know how you get on

Message withdrawn

How did you get on lillaB?

Hope your booking went ok today Mrs and the Nuchal goes well tomorrow.

How are you Sh77? its a tunnel of shite sometimes isn't it.

Hi Woollyjo
Went to see Gp who immediately got me in for a scan at our local hospital. Amazed to find a heart beat - my dates are about one week out but other than that everything normal for now. Was in floods of tears. Scared now I am living on a knife edge for 34 more weeks! But have to think positive and my stomach ache has gone (maybe more in the mind than actual). Fingers crossed.
Lx

An immediate scan! wow, we don't get those round here (I was please when I didn't have to wait 5 days with a bleed.

I bet you are delighted at the result - hope it gives you a little less to worry about.

Not had a very good week but not sure if it is the pg or the greiving process. DD has started that 'why?' phase which is almost tipping me over the edge!

Great news LillaB - so pleased for you, at least you can try to relax a little bit (know what you mean about living on a knife edge though!).

Woolly - your head must be all over the place with hormones & grief - hang in there, you're being very strong.

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

I can't stop bloody eating! My clothes hardly fit & I'm only 7+6 - craving all things carbohydrate but especially hash browns & onion rings! Why ,oh why, can't I just want fruit?!
Other than stuffing myself stupid & wishing the next 6 months away trouble-free I'm fine!

OneBabyplease and Woolljo : how many weeks are you now?

Willitbe - I am in the same position,having 2 girls and wanting another. We should feel grateful for what we have, but that doesn't help lessen the grief and yearning sometimes.
I feel more positive since my scan. I may book another one for betweena now and 12 wks as it just seems too far away to contemplate. I also do not want to tell anyone - I only gave birth mid-June so it feels very soon. My due date was 17 November so I need to get oast that date mentally.
Lxx

Hi everyone

Woolyjo - I love the expression "tunnel of shite." Made me smile.

Well, not good news for me. Missed MC confirmed by HCG blood tests. It went down from 44,500 to 38,600. Pretty conclusive. I have a scan on Monday. I am just hoping for a natural loss but am so angry that nothing is happening - no blood or cramps. I feel hopeless and devastated given the death of my daughter 6 months ago. I feel numb that this could happen to me so soon. But, I suppose, why couldn't it have happened?

I have done nothing but rest at home for the past 6 weeks thinking that I don't want anything to happen if I go out. But it bloody well happened sitting at home. Can't avoid the inevitable.

Hi Girls,

LillaB - I'm 9 weeks on Sunday (my god its been dragging). I've been taking in some of my maternity trousers so I can wear them already as my abs only had 10-12 weeks to recover before I fell pregnant again so my belly is big and I'd rather look pregnant than fat (and I don't want to buy normal clothes in bigger sizes). I've been dreaming of the comfort of my jogging trousers!

Onebaby - I'm with you on the carbs although I am loving satsumas at the moment too.

Sh77 - Hope everything starts soon so you can come to an end of this chapter. My mcs followed their own course, one at 6 and one at 9.5 weeks. Grim is not a good enough description.

sh77 - I hope that things get going for you naturally soon. It is so hard coping with loss. It is so true you can't avoid the inevitable.

LillaB - so happy that you got to see the heatbeat, so reassuring.

I am up and down at the moment, i am only 4weeks+1day but already fretting over symptoms going and coming back again. I was hoping to pop into the EPU on monday and get bloodtests, to see if my hcg levels are rising as they should. But unfortunately my GP wrote asking for an appt for me, and they have made my appointment for the 18th Nov. If I make it that far it will be good, but I was hoping for some reassurance before then. Or if things are going the other way, then I would like to know as soon as possible to get used to the idea. Do you think I could go on monday anyway???? The EPU unit rang today but did not leave a message (and were gone by the time I rang back). The GP rang and left a message on my mobile this evening regarding the appointment for the 18th. Do you think the EPU would turn me away if I went on monday? Or should I wait (not sure I can keep my head together that long!) til the appointment on the 18th?

Sh77 - a truly shit time for you, hope you're being well looked after in RL. Take care xx

LillaB - I'll be 8 weeks tomorrow.

Willit - why don't you go on Monday anyway? The worst they can do is turn you away, worth a shot I reckon, it might put your mind at rest if they will see you.

Mrs - How did your nuchal go? Hope everything's ok.

This waiting game is such hard work. I work with a lovely girl who's 5 months pregnant after ttc for about 5 minutes! Not a care in the world! How lovely! Our version of pregnancy is sadly tainted, isn't it? Here's to a relaxing & uneventful weekend girls . .

Thank you everyone for your support.

Willitbe - I had a bloody hard time this week sitting around wondering whether I have MCd or not. When I went to EPU for the first scan, they never suggested blood test and I was too upset to have thought about it. A couple of days later, I went to the local gynae ward and asked them to do my bloods. They fine about it. At least I know now before the next scan what has happened. Go on Monday regardless of the appt or phone the gynae ward. I hope everything will be fine. x